Does your wife ever initiate sex? - Page 8 - Talk About Marriage
The Men's Clubhouse Talk about life's dilemmas.

User Tag List

 158Likes
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #106 of 404 (permalink) Old 12-27-2010, 08:47 AM
Member
 
janesmith's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 415
Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.LonelyGal View Post
Yes! Exactly!


I am trying to initiate more... but it just feels sort of awkward.

Also... and I am not sure other women feel this way, or not... but it is hard for me to figure out to do w/ a flaccid penis.

If it is hard and coming right at me, I know exactly what to do next.

I mean if it doesn't stand up at attention after a little kissing and touching, I am not sure what to do next. I know it is my job to get it to stand at attention, but it seems like it used to be effortless, and now we are both a little older and have been together for a long time, and when it doesn't happen right away I can't help but feel that he isn't attracted to me anymore and that makes me afraid of rejection and less apt to try again.
You just standing there naked is not gonna do it sister. You have to touch him, caress him, rub yourself on him. slid your legs inbetween his, kiss him, lick his ears, bite his neck, play with is nipples, rub his balls, lick his ****, lick his balls, suck his fingers, suck on his lips, lick his lips, rake his ass with your nails, talk dirty to him, rub ur pu$$y against his hip, moan in his ear, let him watch you touch youself, watch him jack off AND lick his balls at the same time.


use ur imagination, read some good erotica, learn how to turn that man on. Ask him to direct you and tell you want to do, ask your friends, get interested in WHAT makes his d@ck hard, studying, watch it, listen to his moans when you touch it or do certain things to it, listen to the sounds and watch the move his body makes. Pay attention to him.
janesmith is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #107 of 404 (permalink) Old 12-27-2010, 09:13 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 6
Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

i am a 27 year old wife been together for 10 and married for 5.
i must admit i initiate sex ALL THE TIME very seldom does he.
and quite alot of the times he says no i suppose he just can't keep up with my drive for it.
even after the birth of our children it has always been me and i try to get it atleast once a day if not more.
justmad is offline  
post #108 of 404 (permalink) Old 12-29-2010, 05:12 PM
Member
 
Blue Moon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 348
Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by janesmith View Post
You just standing there naked is not gonna do it sister. You have to touch him, caress him, rub yourself on him. slid your legs inbetween his, kiss him, lick his ears, bite his neck, play with is nipples, rub his balls, lick his ****, lick his balls, suck his fingers, suck on his lips, lick his lips, rake his ass with your nails, talk dirty to him, rub ur pu$$y against his hip, moan in his ear, let him watch you touch youself, watch him jack off AND lick his balls at the same time.


use ur imagination, read some good erotica, learn how to turn that man on. Ask him to direct you and tell you want to do, ask your friends, get interested in WHAT makes his d@ck hard, studying, watch it, listen to his moans when you touch it or do certain things to it, listen to the sounds and watch the move his body makes. Pay attention to him.



Cosign to the fullest. Embrace your nasty side and go with it.
Blue Moon is offline  
post #109 of 404 (permalink) Old 12-30-2010, 10:48 AM
Member
 
Mrs.LonelyGal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 150
Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

Well, I got rejected last night. So much for the candles I lit, the nice new sheets and pretty neglige' I bought. What a waste.
Spent the better part of the night crying. It hurts to be rejected- especially when you put forth a grand effort.
"Honey, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, I am just not in the mood"

BS. he knew I tried to make it romantic and special. I showered and shaved and lotion and perfumed before bedtime. I lit the candles and said come hither, for nothing!
I feel like such a fool. I feel like I shouldn't have to go through so much trouble to get laid. I am attractive and good in bed, and married. WTF?
Its funny, and I somewhat resent the fact that I always seem to "get in the mood" when he wants to have sex, and I am vilified and punished by his excessive use of pornography if I am too tired or stressed or sick to make love.
I am not going to to beg for it, ever again.
So what should I just be ready and willing if he wants to do it tonight?
Part of me wants to punish him, even though I know that is wrong.

What is worse is that he probably won't even try...
Mrs.LonelyGal is offline  
post #110 of 404 (permalink) Old 12-30-2010, 11:57 AM
Member
 
Blue Moon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 348
Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

Does your husband masturbate much?
Blue Moon is offline  
post #111 of 404 (permalink) Old 12-30-2010, 12:44 PM
Member
 
Mrs.LonelyGal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 150
Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

Well, I am not sure anymore. I know he used to- a lot. This is back when we were at a really bad stage in our marriage.
He was supposed to stop looking at porn at my request, because of this.

We have been traveling over the holidays so, I am not sure when he would have had an opportunity to.
Mrs.LonelyGal is offline  
post #112 of 404 (permalink) Old 12-31-2010, 11:50 AM
Registered User
 
SoCalMark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 13
Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

IF my wife initiates sex it's no warm-up session with hugging, kissing and touches... she usually just goes for the gold to get the captain at attention. Although some guys would prefer this, I like a more gradual approach to the whole thing. I have asked her before but I guess she forgot somewhere along the line -- or she isn't interested.
SoCalMark is offline  
post #113 of 404 (permalink) Old 12-31-2010, 01:50 PM
Moderator
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: United States
Posts: 10,498
Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

At 27 - when we met - my W could do a zero foreplay approach and I was totally fine with it. But back then - I could get hard in about 10 seconds.

At 48 I dislike the direct approach and NEED foreplay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCalMark View Post
IF my wife initiates sex it's no warm-up session with hugging, kissing and touches... she usually just goes for the gold to get the captain at attention. Although some guys would prefer this, I like a more gradual approach to the whole thing. I have asked her before but I guess she forgot somewhere along the line -- or she isn't interested.
MEM2020 is online now  
post #114 of 404 (permalink) Old 12-31-2010, 01:52 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: South Alabama
Posts: 17
Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

I have to say my DW rarely initiates sex, but she does know how I feel about it and how much I want it. We are a chrisitian couple and about 3 months ago we decided that we would have a "Never say NO" agreement(kinda of biblical basis). I think at first she thought sex would become "mechanical" but to the surprise of both of, it has made things wonderful !! It relieves all of the tension. She is not worried about if she should say yes just to make me happy if she is not in the mood or worried if she says no that I will be mad or hurt. And I think some of it for men is basic human nature, 'We want what someone says we can't have'. It takes the "victory" out of sex and therefore it can be a more mutually enjoyable experience. This is all based on a Loving relationship and mutual feelings and understanding. That being said....
For Christmas my wife gave me..........wait for it......
The 12 Lays of Chrsitmas.

Love, Actually: The 12 Lays of Christmas
We are on day 6...Oh Yeah 6 more to go
By the way, I am glad I found this forum...
Happy New Year, All
LSU Fan is offline  
post #115 of 404 (permalink) Old 12-31-2010, 05:44 PM
Member
 
Blue Moon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 348
Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MEM2020 View Post
At 27 - when we met - my W could do a zero foreplay approach and I was totally fine with it. But back then - I could get hard in about 10 seconds.

At 48 I dislike the direct approach and NEED foreplay.
Yeah, I guess things change as you get older. I'm still at the point where I go from 0 to 60 in .5 seconds.
Blue Moon is offline  
post #116 of 404 (permalink) Old 02-13-2011, 09:44 PM
Member
 
Clarence Rutherford's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 80
Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LSU Fan View Post
I have to say my DW rarely initiates sex, but she does know how I feel about it and how much I want it. We are a chrisitian couple and about 3 months ago we decided that we would have a "Never say NO" agreement(kinda of biblical basis). I think at first she thought sex would become "mechanical" but to the surprise of both of, it has made things wonderful !! It relieves all of the tension. She is not worried about if she should say yes just to make me happy if she is not in the mood or worried if she says no that I will be mad or hurt. And I think some of it for men is basic human nature, 'We want what someone says we can't have'. It takes the "victory" out of sex and therefore it can be a more mutually enjoyable experience. This is all based on a Loving relationship and mutual feelings and understanding. That being said....
For Christmas my wife gave me..........wait for it......
The 12 Lays of Chrsitmas.

Love, Actually: The 12 Lays of Christmas
We are on day 6...Oh Yeah 6 more to go
By the way, I am glad I found this forum...
Happy New Year, All
LSU,
Can you go more into this "Never say no" agreement and how you worked it out?
Your description isn't that clear.
Thanks.
Clarence Rutherford is offline  
post #117 of 404 (permalink) Old 02-13-2011, 09:49 PM
Member
 
Clarence Rutherford's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 80
Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

On the original question, my wife rarely initiates.

Years ago while on vacation, I came to find to find her naked under the sheets. That was great initiating and saw that as a green light....

Come to think of it, I came to bed recently and she was sans clothing... so maybe she is starting to initiate more.
Clarence Rutherford is offline  
post #118 of 404 (permalink) Old 02-13-2011, 10:55 PM
Member
 
credamdóchasgra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,917
Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

Each of us initiates an equal amount of the time.
Posted via Mobile Device
credamdóchasgra is offline  
post #119 of 404 (permalink) Old 02-14-2011, 03:08 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 63
Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

For probably 5 years she initiated maybe once. Now she initiates multiple times a week.
coops is offline  
post #120 of 404 (permalink) Old 02-25-2011, 12:18 PM
Member
 
Runs like Dog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Redneckistan
Posts: 10,051
Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

In 31 years, never. Not once. In fact I'd have to say based on the complete lack of sex since Clinton was President, we're probably done for good. I just got fed up with having a second job. I already have a job and doing this just made me feel like I was being a demanding abusive jerk. In the ensuing years, she comes to bed in sweatpants, t-shirt, hoodie and socks and if I so much as stroke her back she complains. But to be fair we had a serious conversation about this years ago and she told me point blank that 'I'm the girl and this is all you the man's job, 100%'. But I've got say that none of this should amaze me in retrospect since apart from intentionally conceiving children, we'd had sex maybe 30 times in 31 years of marriage. If I were deeply cynical, which of course I'm not, I'd say that women use sex to get love or something else and men use love or something else, to get sex. It's just a transaction.
Runs like Dog is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
My wife never trys to turn me on or initiate sex. please advise dblj22rsvl Sex in Marriage 36 03-20-2017 05:40 AM
When should i initiate wife... HiRoad Going Through Divorce or Separation 5 10-22-2012 02:23 PM
Newly married, wife thinks I initiate sex too much. Turns her off iheartlamps General Relationship Discussion 8 10-08-2012 08:31 AM
Wife wants a dissolution but won't initiate it herself david_h15 Considering Divorce or Separation 10 08-08-2012 04:54 PM
Wife's responses when I initiate. eagleclaw Sex in Marriage 16 08-07-2012 11:54 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome