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Old 02-25-2011, 08:53 PM   #121 (permalink)
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Default Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

Yes she does...im always "READY" so I usually let her,let me know when she is. Seems to work, I hate that feeling that she doing it for me...so i wait, usually not too long
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Old 02-26-2011, 08:05 AM   #122 (permalink)
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Default Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

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Originally Posted by kendall2 View Post
My wife initiates more than me. We average 3 times a week and she probalbly initiates it 2 of those times. Definetly helps if you complement her during the day. Women are like cruise ships and men are speedboats. They take a long time to turn around so get them thinking about sex hours before bedtime by flirting, kissing, touching. etc
Haven't read whole thread but BRILLIANT!!!!
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Old 02-26-2011, 05:56 PM   #123 (permalink)
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Default Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

Runs, you don't have to be cynical to come to that conclusion. You just have to be able to add two and two. You wouldn't be the first guy to get trapped by a woman looking for security. I've never seen a reality show entitled, "Who wants to marry a really nice poor guy?". Sex for security is the oldest transaction in the history of mankind. If I applied for the position of jockey but once hired, showed no interest in horses and refused to ride more than once every year, it wouldn't take a genius to figure out I'd been a fraud all along.
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Old 04-03-2011, 06:57 PM   #124 (permalink)
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Default Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

Wife never initiates sex so we dont have it very often. I think every once in a while she feels bad that were not so she will give in when I try. 14 years of marriage and this is what I get how nice. Truth is I do not care anymore because when I do try she says no at first then gets mad that I stop trying. Reason I stop is numberous times she has told me that If she turns me down she feels bad about it and cant sleep so I just do not try. Most of the time I would rather go down stairs and find some internet porn than to try and get the wife going.
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Old 05-05-2011, 02:59 PM   #125 (permalink)
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Default Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

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Originally Posted by cherrypie18 View Post
I've said this before and I'll say it again, I never thought men could say no to sex until I got married lol

My guess they say no because they either get off to porn before we initiate or there's someone else.
I've said no to my wife before and I think they are valid reasons:

1. Have to go to work early and it 3AM
2. I'm feel betrayed.
3. I'm tried (sounds like number 1, it different in the sense that i may not be tried but am trying not fall asleep at work)
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Old 05-05-2011, 03:01 PM   #126 (permalink)
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Default Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

My wife has initiated Sex but says it not as good as when I initiate. I feel the opposite, because when she initiates it because she is hungry.
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Old 05-09-2011, 06:26 PM   #127 (permalink)
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Default Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

I've tried to spice things up lately... I've ended up with my feelings hurt. I almost have to assume it's what some women are afraid of.

I tried sending naughty texts, that put him 'in a bad position' cause he was a whole 4 houses down and there was 20 minutes before the OSU game started. Then there was the time 'the dog is right here'. We were on the couch and the damn dog is 13, blind and deaf! When I looked at him like, are you serious right now? He yelled at me, what? you want to go into the bedroom. Not now, idiot. Now I want to cry thank you very much.

I honestly don't think my husband can handle me being sexually agressive. It seems to really bother him and he turns into an uptight old man that avoids the whole situation. He's 33 so I don't get it.
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Old 05-09-2011, 07:46 PM   #128 (permalink)
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Default Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

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Originally Posted by tatted View Post
Most of the time I would rather go down stairs and find some internet porn than to try and get the wife going.
That's not a good habit, tatted. As a former and recovering porn user, I can't say I haven't done that.
But now realize I focused more of my energy on viewing porn when I could have been investing more time with her.

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Originally Posted by Kitten77 View Post
I honestly don't think my husband can handle me being sexually agressive. It seems to really bother him and he turns into an uptight old man that avoids the whole situation. He's 33 so I don't get it.
Am sorry to hear that.

Will tell you this: I wouldn't have responded like your hubby.
I for one would love it if my wife initiated, even just once in a while.

She has "helped" the mood several times (not as much as I'd like though). I've come to bed from the bathroom in the hotel and found her absolutely naked....
Yes, she let me have my way with her...

She was all over me on the couch once.
At times, during cuddling, she won't deflect me if I start groping her "too early..." That's usually a good sign.
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Old 05-09-2011, 08:03 PM   #129 (permalink)
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Thumbs up Bringing your guy to arousal...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.LonelyGal
Also... and I am not sure other women feel this way, or not... but it is hard for me to figure out to do w/ a flaccid penis.

If it is hard and coming right at me, I know exactly what to do next.

I mean if it doesn't stand up at attention after a little kissing and touching, I am not sure what to do next.

I know it is my job to get it to stand at attention, but it seems like it used to be effortless, and now we are both a little older and have been together for a long time, and when it doesn't happen right away I can't help but feel that he isn't attracted to me anymore and that makes me afraid of rejection and less apt to try again.
Maybe I'm ignorant here, but when did it become the wife's responsibility to get her man aroused?

I never have any problem "standing at attention" when I'm with my wife.....
We're not young either. Me 49... she 52....

She has "helped" -- and brought me back -- when I ended too soon... (thank goodness, was embarrassed).

Quote:
Originally Posted by janesmith
You just standing there naked is not gonna do it sister. You have to touch him, caress him, rub yourself on him. slid your legs inbetween his, kiss him, lick his ears, bite his neck, play with is nipples, rub his balls, lick his ****, lick his balls, suck his fingers, suck on his lips, lick his lips, rake his ass with your nails, talk dirty to him, rub ur pu$$y against his hip, moan in his ear, let him watch you touch youself, watch him jack off AND lick his balls at the same time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.LonelyGal View Post
Well, I got rejected last night. So much for the candles I lit, the nice new sheets and pretty neglige' I bought. What a waste.
Spent the better part of the night crying. It hurts to be rejected- especially when you put forth a grand effort.
"Honey, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, I am just not in the mood"

BS. he knew I tried to make it romantic and special.
LonelyGal,
Did you do any of the things Janesmith recommended?
I know it would be hard for me to not want to ML with my wife if she did some of those things.

But then again... I'm never "not in the mood..."
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Old 05-21-2011, 03:11 AM   #130 (permalink)
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Default Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

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Originally Posted by kendall2 View Post
My wife initiates more than me. We average 3 times a week and she probalbly initiates it 2 of those times. Definetly helps if you complement her during the day. Women are like cruise ships and men are speedboats. They take a long time to turn around so get them thinking about sex hours before bedtime by flirting, kissing, touching. etc
If I started flirting and all that hours before then the only person that will be thinking about sex at bedtime is me. I'd take a shower before bed because I like to feel clean for her and by the time I crawled into bed next to her she would be snoring up a storm. You are a lucky man if you have a woman that wants sex enjoy it and her for as long as you can.
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Old 05-21-2011, 08:01 AM   #131 (permalink)
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Default Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

Quote:
Women are like cruise ships and men are speedboats. They take a long time to turn around so get them thinking about sex hours before
If that was true that would mean the missus is thinking about sex 24/7...
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Old 05-23-2011, 08:37 AM   #132 (permalink)
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Default Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

My wife used to intiate sex, until we both hit around 35. We're now 46 & 47. She hasn't initiated sex once since then. It doesn't matter anyway because I got so tired of her turning me down and me belittling myself hearing her complain when I asked that I finally gave up asking altogether. She's also gained a lot of weight which is another reason I gave up. I find both her personality and her appearance physically repulsive. I've been sleeping on the couch for the last 6 months which is just fine with both of us. Nice life huh?
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Old 05-23-2011, 08:40 AM   #133 (permalink)
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Default Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

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Originally Posted by cody5 View Post
I don't understand men turning down sex. Doesn't compute.
I guess it depends on if your wife transforms herself into something you find completely undesirable.

Last edited by Helicon; 05-23-2011 at 08:44 AM.
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Old 05-23-2011, 10:59 AM   #134 (permalink)
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Default Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

our sex life was really slow for a lonnnnggg time. I subscribed to the whole "it's the man's job to initiate" philosophy and obviously it wasn't working for me. I realize now that if I want to get what I want in the bedroom I have to stop depending on him to feed my insecurities and get over them. In the beginning I got rejected often enough. I did the whole laying in bed with lingerie on. But then just cuddled up as I would if I went to bed in my sweats. No real excitement there.

So I started stepping outside of my comfort zone. He still rarely initiates, but he rarely turns me down either and I'm ok with that. I'm 6 months pregnant now with our second kid and our sex life has never been better (against all odds :P).

You'll get out of it what you put into it. Put on the lingerie, but instead of just laying in bed with it on, or even just making sure he sees it, get into bed and make it clear what you want. Even saying, hey..."i'm super horny. please?" (play your cute card loL!) is better than nothing :P
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Old 06-12-2011, 07:48 PM   #135 (permalink)
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Default Re: Does your wife ever initiate sex?

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Originally Posted by mike1 View Post
I rarely try to initiate because 95% of the time I get turned down. Pretty much I just have to wait until she decides to initiates.
This is the exact thing I've been experiencing for the last two years. If I try to go after it I almost always get turned down, if I don't ever go after it nothing ever happens.
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