Yep, just like that. It doesn't mean anything to her, she's just telling you a fact. But it just takes the wind out of your sail. My GF told me a lot of things when we were in the teasing/flirting stage. Just general I like this and that type stuff. At the time it was HOT! Now, I just wish I didn't know. LOL funny how that table turns.
I'm glad you found an awesome girl, sam. I know how that feels and 99% of the time it feels awesome! Well worth the 1% when we get in our heads.
Thank you everyone for your support and advice!
Satya, you're exactly right. We are both who we are today BECAUSE of our pasts. She always tells me timing is everything, and we met exactly when we were meant to. She believes our lives have been preparing us to be with each other. That says a lot about her mindset to me.
I am very careful not to cast blame at her for her past. I don't even feel like she did anything "wrong."
What you said here could have been written about my STBW and I. All of it. When we were first getting to know eachother, various stories, not too detailed mind you, no problems at all, but now...I wish I'd never known.
Both of us being of the mindset that we are who we are today because of our pasts, and that it seems that fate brought us together, we were being prepared for eachother...yep, that's us. We both agree that even though we were miserable in our marriages, if we had met ten years ago, no way we'd end up together, and if we'd known eachother before we were married, we likely wouldn't have even been friends.
One thing a lot of people just don't get is that the feelings are never ones of disgust, contempt, or anything bad at all towards her. I have never thought any less of her, that she did anything wrong, or thought she was dirty or anything like that at all. They just are, and are almost detached from her in a way. So many people just don't get it...they think we are thinking badly of our partner, shaming them, and nothing could be farther from the truth.
I think the main thing is the mind movies. Even simple things create the mental image, and the real chore is getting the image out of my head.