I am a newly wed only married 9 months and my wife is leaving me. She says she's in love with me, but not in the right way, and she needs to be on her own for a while because she never has been. I knew she had these issues going into the marriage but we always talked them out.
At one time she will say she is committed to making it work and just needs time apart, and other times she says that the is only like a 2% chance of making things work.
One thing I don't understand. She says I am her best friend, that she is attracted to me, our sex life is great, she is the happier with me than anyone, but she just has this gut feeling that how she feels about me isn't how she is "supposed" to feel.
It sounds like she is bored with her life, take a vacation to somewhere exotic, let her go out and party with the girls, wax your manhood/chest, surprise her in the bedroom or make some changes to your life that would be exciting. That is what I would recommend for starters, just throw some random fun **** into your lives that she would never expect (but not be freaked out by) and she wouldnt do on her own. It will bring the two of you closer together and make her remember why she married you in the first place! Show her you still got what she wants, and I bet things will get a lot better. If they dont, then maybe things are a bit more complex and really need some strong focus.
I was in the same situation. My wife and I were in love and then right before time to get married she and I started to have differences. Like you we were able to talk them out and move on.
I'm not sure what your situation is and how you got to this point. There are some things that you are not explaining but I can empythize with your situation. My wife and I got married and 9 months later she and I were contemplating divorce. We got in a huge argument but it did not help that I was in the wrong.
It is going to be difficult initially because two people are coming together and discovering that their lives are going to change. Usually people start to think about "What they will miss out" on but instead they should be excited about what they are building which is a family.
My wife and I loved each other beyond a doubt but I knew that she wanted to have her life and me somewhere in it too. I had to get her to understand that my life was her life and that I loved her.
We started counseling and we have been doing great ever since. I would say ask if she would start counseling with you first to get to the reason(s) why she would marry you and then decide to end it. If she does not want to do the counseling then I would suggest the "Sumo Wrestler" technique; use their strength and reasoning as a tool for reason not force.
Also, Make it seems as though you are going to move on with or without her. Next, I would say start to be realistic and start planning for life without her if the counseling is not an option. Don't worry..you will be fine and life will go on. Find confidence in yourself. Make sure that you have all of your interest taken care of and that you are prepared for the end. Find some support groups that could help you begin anew. Good Luck!!!!
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