05-06-2010, 02:56 PM
Join Date: Apr 2010
| | Re: I need support
how can i trust the man who is supposed to take care of me to actually be there for me when he is capable of leaving me literally stranded?
That's a really good question, but a better question is the reason he did it. Sounds like there is some kind of problem, and you are not equipped to diagnose him. Nor, can you risk your future safety and happiness to his uncontrollable proclivity because this will surely happen again. What he does next time - and the time after that, and the time after that - could be much worse. You have to see it is not normal that he reacts this way to stress and that he has terrible coping skills. If everyone did this, what an exceedingly much worse mess the world would be in. And I think the worst part is he takes his stress out on you. He is already out of control.
Bravo for you for breaking up with him. That might have been an angry reaction, which means you are already prepared to forgive him upon apology. But I hope not. I understand the relationship is otherwise good. I understand you love him. But you have to understand what the dating period is supposed to be about. It's not just to fall in love and be with the person. It should be used as a period of scrutiny to determine if this person is right for you. Making that determination is mutually exclusive of the feelings you have for him. Most people, mostly women, ignore all the signs that present themselves during the dating period because they "luuuuve him!" and want so badly to get married. In due time, they are writing on message boards about all the problems and terrible things "my husband" did to them. I hope you will not find yourself back here (or some other board) complaining about what he did to you yet again because he responds to stress so badly, has terrible coping skills, and has decided yet again to take it all out on you.
I know you love him. You can and will love again. You met him. You will meet another. Be strong. And bravo for you!