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How often did you set dates with more than 1 woman at a time?

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Guys, how often did/do you date multiple women?

38K views 602 replies 45 participants last post by  Wolf1974 
#1 · (Edited)
Gathering feedback per disagreement on another thread. So, assuming you are open to dating multiple women concurrently, how often did you do so? If you are not open to having multiple dates concurrently scheduled with multiple women, please answer "never".

To be clear: I define dating as something of the order of being interested in a woman and asking her out for "dinner and a movie" in pursuit of her for a potential coupling and LTR. Dating multiple women, is here defined as asking one woman out for a first date say... Friday night, and before that date asking another woman out for Saturday... perhaps even alternating dates with each. Concurrently scheduling and going on dates with multiple women. So that weekend, you have two dates with different women coming up.

Per my definition, it is not scheduling/dating one, being done with her, and scheduling/dating another... as that would be dating one at a time.
 
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#3 ·
Frequently. If it extended beyond a couple of dates (the screening and elimination process), I'd disclose it. Only rarely did anyone have a problem with that, and if they did they could (and usuall did) choose not to continue seeing me. Often I'd find just one special person to date for an extended period, but occasionally there were two or even three that continued for two or three years.
 
#5 ·
am looking forward to reading the responses.
Me too. From what I gather from friends IRL... they don't have all that many dates such that they need to schedule them concurrently. Its more like: date one, it continues or it does not - the end. Find other women who seem interested, ask a few more out... relatively low acceptance rate. Stop seeking additional dates when someone accepts. Date her till it ends before seeking new dates.

I'm curious to see if the forum reflects what I've gathered.
 
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#6 ·
When my ex wife and I seperated and it was obviously headed for divorce, me not wanting to continue in the marriage, waiting to file, I dated several women at the same time, multiple dates with multiple women per week. Once I began talking with my STBW, that came to a stop in a hurry as I realized she was something special right away.
 
#9 ·
Once I began talking with my STBW, that came to a stop in a hurry as I realized she was something special right away.
What was it about her that made you realize/feel that she was "special?"

There would be much more participation in the discussion if this was a dating forum, versus a marriage forum.
True. Lol. But we gotta work with what we have here at TAM.



 
#8 ·
Sam, so you were asking out 2+ women a week and landing dates with them? Where were you meeting these women? How long did this 2+ women a week average last before you met STBW?

I consider myself quite the pickup artist, but you must be a stud! :D
 
#15 ·
Over a three month period, I had several single date women. Just didn't hit it off. There were five women over that time that I went out three to eight times with. The most I ever did in one week was four with four different women.

It was really quite a mix of where I met them. Most of the one and dones were met online. The eight date woman was met online. I met a couple in checkout lines, and a few were single moms I knew through one of my kids schools. The best way I asked one of them out was in the grocery store. Chick was getting something off a shelf and was standing on one of the lower shelves. She came down as I was walking by and planed one of her heels in the top of my foot and it hurt like hell. She apologized, I told her she could make it up to me by taking me out to dinner, and she said ok, so we did.

I was more than happy to continue this arrangement, and then I met my STBW online. Once we got past the first few emails, and began talking on the phone and texting, my interest in the other women went away.
 
#10 ·
I didn't date terribly often but when I did it was with one woman at a time except for once when it was two.
 
#12 ·
One wonders why so many single people complain endlessly about wanting a date when multi-dating is so "prevalent".
 
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#13 ·
Many people here haven't dated on the open market for a long, long time.

My friends and I and the men we dated (when I was single), always multi-dated and always assumed the men were multi-dating, too. Sometimes it was not just an assumption, we actually discussed it with them most of the time.

The standard dating advice is to assume people are dating others.
 
#16 · (Edited)
Its called sarcasm.

Amazingly, none of my single guy friends had a date this weekend. I can't wait to tell them what losers they are that they're not getting all this multi-date action. ;P
 
#19 ·
Was the "stud" comment also sarcasm?
The stud comment WAS the sarcasm. I don't think having multiple women makes one a stud regardless. I was being facetious.

I don't know whether the women he was seeing were seeing other people as well or not, so I have no information to judge. I personally wouldn't stoop to dating a woman who was dating another man out of a sense of self-respect.
 
#22 ·
Btw, FW, I see you've voted for every week. The poll was specifically asking guys. That's why I made who voted for what visible.
 
#26 ·
Unless you had a sex change, I don't really care.
 
#28 ·
Ding ding, round two. It's a rematch of the Thrilla from Manila

And DVLS comes out swinging, he ducks, he dives but FW catches him with an uppercut, he counters with a jab which rocks FW on her heels.

This must be the tenth fight they've had in recent months and it promises some real fireworks.

Stay tuned for the third round.


:D
 
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#39 ·
This has kind of how I've always been. Date a bunch and see what happens. I never really stopped to think that it might be wrong. I've never lied to a woman about it when I had been doing it. Though I never volunteered the information either.

When I am out with someone, she has my complete attention. That is probably why when I have felt things getting serious from my side, I have naturally lost interest in the other women, and go exclusive on my own.
 
#32 ·
At different times in our lives (prior to meeting), my husband and both multi-dated, sometimes just a couple people at once, sometimes several.

We were both multi-dating when we met.

After about 3 months of dating, we became exclusive because we both "knew" something special was going on here.
 
#35 ·
So special it took three months just to decide to stop seeing other people? :scratchhead:

That completely baffles me.
 
#36 ·
"...but you keep pretending that most men are multi-dating when they're not."

You aren't going to disprove this by one poll on a marriage forum, where people are not actively dating.

You think this: "Very few men are even capable of landing multiple dates a week, period; much less engaging in it as a sustained long term behavior." is some kind of statement of fact? It is merely your opinion.
 
#41 ·
You don't have to be actively dating to relay your dating experience.

I am not relating my opinion. I am relating FACT according to combined experience... and I AM a person who maintains a large social network. I AM one of the guys everyone knows around town because I deliberately make it my business to be known and to know as many people as possible. It benefits my social life, it benefits my dating life, and it benefits my business. Men do not have all these dates you're referring to. Hell, I'd wager a huge percentage of women don't either... but I have less data to speak on. The prototype women perhaps... but the average woman? I doubt it. Neither the average man nor the average woman has members of the opposite sex beating down their door such that they have to schedule this excess of dates they're getting... and if the dates were plentiful, why bother to schedule at all? There's always another suitor showing up just as you get rid of the previous?

If the average man HAS to get a date today or he'll die, that's going to be one fugly woman. The average man's only immediate capability to increase quantity is by reducing quality.

It takes a very long time build large social networks. It takes even longer to become socially adept. And in spite of years of effort developing both, I'd still find it difficult to land dates with 2 new women every week without lowering my standards or being out seeking all the time.

The only scenario where multi-dating even makes sense to me is if you're a single mom and only have every other weekend to date. You have two weeks to collect offers and a weekend to execute. I can see an attractive woman pulling that off without a problem... but there is one limiting factor: Most single mom's I know barely get out of the house other than their jobs. There's not a lot of opportunity to meet someone.

Whether someone thinks its okay or not is irrelevant to the fact that most people aren't actually doing it, if only because they can't.
 
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