Men, question about odd porn.
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Old 09-08-2010, 04:04 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Men, question about odd porn.

I have been with my husband for 7 years. We have a decent sex life I guess. My issue is he always asks for anal sex and I only give in once in awhile. That's not the whole issue. My problem is that on 3 occasions I have found searches for "Tranny porn" and "she male". I have found these here at home so God knows how much he may look this up at work or on his cell. I confronted him nicely the first time and he said he was just curious. I dropped it. But when I found it again a couple years later I flat out asked him if I should buy a strap on. I wasn't being rude - I would do it if that's what he needed. He denied he had even looked at it again.
Is this odd behavior? Is he gay? Or am I over thinking this?
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Old 09-08-2010, 04:17 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men, question about odd porn.

Tranny porn? Never even thought about it. So off base for me it's in another universe. I really think you are right to question it if you are truly comfortable being a women. I hope you are.

Take his tranny porn as "real" for a while. Contemplate it and ask yourself if he has those inclinations, could you live with it?

Bob



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I have been with my husband for 7 years. We have a decent sex life I guess. My issue is he always asks for anal sex and I only give in once in awhile. That's not the whole issue. My problem is that on 3 occasions I have found searches for "Tranny porn" and "she male". I have found these here at home so God knows how much he may look this up at work or on his cell. I confronted him nicely the first time and he said he was just curious. I dropped it. But when I found it again a couple years later I flat out asked him if I should buy a strap on. I wasn't being rude - I would do it if that's what he needed. He denied he had even looked at it again.
Is this odd behavior? Is he gay? Or am I over thinking this?
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Old 09-08-2010, 04:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men, question about odd porn.

I would be really worried about tranny porn. He might be closeted and not sure what he really wants? There's bdsm porn about girls being rough with their men and using strap-ons etc, but tranny porn??
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Old 09-08-2010, 05:17 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men, question about odd porn.

He may have issues from childhood. You may want to find out if he has ever been sexually abused or sexually active at a very young age. I was sexually active by the age of three because of a sexually aggressive cousin a year and a half older than me. He was abused by an older sibling I later found out. I don't know that those experiences can ever be repressed but I have been embarrassed about it for most of my life. I didn't know I wasn't supposed to enjoy it. It felt good and and went on for many years in secret. I consider myself hetro but I also like anal sex. I spoke with a counselor about it several times and she said it was actually very common. I'm not sure I believe kids have sex that young or that often, but it did happen to me. I'm not sure this will help you but I feel a little better letting you know. I'm not attracted to men but a woman that has 'extra anatomy' could get my attention. I know I probably some kind of freak but it is the truth.
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Old 09-08-2010, 06:19 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men, question about odd porn.

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He may have issues from childhood. You may want to find out if he has ever been sexually abused or sexually active at a very young age. I was sexually active by the age of three because of a sexually aggressive cousin a year and a half older than me. He was abused by an older sibling I later found out. I don't know that those experiences can ever be repressed but I have been embarrassed about it for most of my life. I didn't know I wasn't supposed to enjoy it. It felt good and and went on for many years in secret. I consider myself hetro but I also like anal sex. I spoke with a counselor about it several times and she said it was actually very common. I'm not sure I believe kids have sex that young or that often, but it did happen to me. I'm not sure this will help you but I feel a little better letting you know. I'm not attracted to men but a woman that has 'extra anatomy' could get my attention. I know I probably some kind of freak but it is the truth.
Hey, I honestly don't feel like you are some type of freak at all. I am open to knowing what could be causing my husband to need view this type of stuff. I don't know what happened in his childhood. His dad was abusive to his mom and the kids and he started doing drugs at an early age. He has been in prison as well so I almost wonder if something happened there...
My husband loves when I play with his rear. I understand it feels great to men. I only use a finger though - not toys. Hope that wasn't TMI. I appreciate your input on this, thank you.
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Old 09-16-2010, 02:09 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men, question about odd porn.

I once saw something on HBO (Real Sex?) where they did a short feature on a beautiful porn star who had a penis. First of all - she was HOT. Second - the feature was done during some sort of convention - and this "girl" was very, very popular by the looks of things.

Sooooo - guess what I googled later that night out of curiosity...

Anyway - it didn't do anything for me. Haven't repeatedly searched for it - was a one-time deal.

Based on that HBO segment, there is a base of hetero men who like to watch that kind of thing. And at least one really attractive "girl" who makes those kinds of videos.

I also tend to agree with Courageous that once you start looking at porn online, its easy to get curious and look at a lot of different stuff that you weren't initially looking for.

Not sure if this helps or not. If this is something he's repeatedly looking for, then you need to keep your eyes open. And be more persistent, yet gentle and loving, with your questions.

Good luck.

Last edited by nice777guy; 09-16-2010 at 02:14 PM.
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Old 09-16-2010, 09:43 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men, question about odd porn.

I think your husband is getting board of the sex life or he wants something more exciting. Looking into those kinds of porn doesn't mean that he is gay. It means that he wants something more in his sex life.
For you, you could interpret your sex life as decent but your husband may think differently.
I recommend you to have a talk with your husband about sex. I'm sure he'll talk about what he wants and what he needs.

I hope this helps you.
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Old 09-18-2010, 11:27 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men, question about odd porn.

He's not Gay! You said he askes for Anal sex alot. well were else can you see alot of that but in Tranny Porn. I agree its kinda weird but some guys are just curious. And thats it...Tell him you dont like it and see what happens. Ive seen it and its not interesting to me. Kinda scarry! Hope everything works out for you...
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Old 09-20-2010, 04:59 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men, question about odd porn.

So is this tranny on girl, or guy on tranny?
There are some "trannies"(always Asian), that aren't men so much as very pretty girls with a penis.
The idea of a girl with a penis doesn't really work for me, but at the same time, how different is it than girl on girl with a strap on?
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Old 03-06-2011, 12:38 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men, question about odd porn.

He's fine. This in no way is indicates that he is gay or was abused. If you're incredibly concerned then follow up by taking your questions to a professional, be it an M.D. a counselor, etc. You're bound to receive more dogma on here than facts.
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Old 03-06-2011, 07:17 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men, question about odd porn.

I have a little different take on this. Porn effects us all in ways that are subtle, and often corrosive to our relationships. It doesn't have to be, but it often is. It creates images of things that stay in our minds long after we have viewed them, and these often create a sense of restlessness, and a feeling that "why can't I do that?" for wishes that can't be fulfilled.

My beloved would never be able to do the BDSM things I've viewed in my time watching porn. That desire has stayed there though, even though I know its something I highly doubt she would ever be in her capacity to enjoy. Me taking control? Sure. Her? Only with great difficulty. Yes, it does affect things between us in subtle ways. It took years to open her up to the idea of anal play, but she did eventually become willing to take part, and started to enjoy it.

I have a feeling your husband's viewing of tranny porn probably has created some unfulfilled desires in him. Perhaps its merely the desire to be taken. I think your thought toward the strap on was probably a good idea. I doubt he is a closet homosexual, but I don't doubt he has some pretty dark desires in bed that he doesn't quite feel safe to talk to you about yet. I think you are going to have to be the initiator, both conversationally, and in actions to overcome this. He needs to hear it in words, by your body language, by your actions that there is nothing he can tell you about his sexual interests which is going to revoke your love for him, and there is no safer place to talk about these things than with you. That you are willing to go out on a limb, and put yourself out there to be the initiator for these things -- both in actions, and in words -- may just be enough to get him talking.


I wish you both the best.
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Old 03-06-2011, 07:36 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men, question about odd porn.

Doesn't make him gay. Hell, even I have looked at it a few years back. And my gal and I both find the concept fascinating. It has a certain je ne sais quoi. Completely weird but interesting.

I'd say talk to him about this. Don't be harsh or judgmental, but do push it a little bit as he will probably be hesitant about it.
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Old 03-06-2011, 09:06 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men, question about odd porn.

I don't know what to say except that men sometimes like to look at really weird stuff of all kinds on the internet. At least you are asking about it. It's good to be open about it.
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Old 03-08-2011, 11:32 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men, question about odd porn.

It doesn't make him gay. It doesn't even make him weird.

Porn Professional here, so take this with at least a modicum of credibility when I say that while most men's private porn habits are 90% "vanilla" in terms of the kink factor, that nearly all men have that 10% "freak factor" that they're curious in exploring. It isn't that he's fantasizing about trannies, even, it's his subconscious bringing gender issues and sexuality issues into focus. There's a natural curiosity in men about transgendered people, sexually speaking. Believe me, there are far worse things that he could be curious about. Don't ask.

So I'd leave it alone. Male sexuality is a complex thing, and we often work through crap through porn (I know, you probably don't believe it, but it's true.). A friend of mine just got busted watching cuckold videos, and his wife freaked out and thought he wanted to loan her out -- which wasn't true at all. He was simply exploring an unknown but interesting aspect of sexuality, the same way a woman would try on an outfit. I mean, not everyone looks good in earth tones, y'know?
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Old 03-08-2011, 02:13 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men, question about odd porn.

OK, time for a little levity at my expense but it may help. I will on occasion check out trannies/she-males etc. Know why? I think "He$$ how come a man that wants to be a woman has bigger equipment than I do???"
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