is she cheating or getting even? should i spy or chase her again?
or am I just an insecure .....!?
To start, I screwed up, i found an old gf on facebook and we conversed a few times, online, wife found out and flipped. demanded I get counseling or threatened divorce, so I spent $500 on counseling. This was over a year ago. Said she forgave but won't forget as I was thinking of cheating, when NOTHING in our conversations suggested that.
Anyway, she has since done some things, sent a text on the 1 year anniversary saying happy anniversary, done dumb things with friends of ours like showing/taking piks of breasts bra on, in front of other husbands (at first), I was home,and emailing them to me (a few of the women did) then saying the men weren't there, found on her facebook appls. the Zoosk dating service (a couple of her married freinds also on there) that she swears has no idea how it got there, and (just to name a few) got a job with a construction comp. that may benefit us both in the long run but made it a point to come home and tell me the owners are both young, good looking and have "big arms" which sure, got me a little jealous but i bit my lip. Well her first day she tells me how the 2 owners and office another guy were all around her desk telling her how "great a job he is doing" Now she is 40, but still a beautiful women, at least to me, and she does call these guys, "kids" as they are in their late 20's early 30's, but she is the only women in the office
I asked her to call me when she gets off work as she only works 10-2 currently and so i know she can pick up our kids. She did the first and second day but not since and I won't call her as she is supposed to be working.
I have also caught her in NUMEROUS retractions in our conversations (don't want to call them lies, yet) such as the men in the room at the picture taking, her nOT telling anyone about my insecurities as we discussed them, and yet she comes oout and tell me she tld her friend,.. I let it slide for 10 minutes, reworded it, and as I approached her she says she NEVER told her b4 i even open my mouth.
Lastly, and to me MOST important, EVERY time I ask, questioned, comment to her disliking she ALWAYS brings up the facebook thing and reminds me that she NEVER even thought of cheating and I did.
She also has been working out more the last month or so when she found she may have this job, and bought a whole new wardrobe for work. hair color all that stuff.
then there are other moments she tells me how much se loves me. We have been together over 20 years, and married 14.
Should i worry she may cheat and continue to watch for signs, spy, OR as I am starting to think, should i try to use the old techniques that got me the ex-cheerleader in the first place, a rose here and there, a card etc.
I have also stopped taking for granted that we wil be together forever and got off the couch and doing for myself. Strted Working out again after a year or 10 layoff, thinking of doing my hair, maybe even roagain to get the hairline back, just in case