themrs

It's not manipulation. I'm not trying to trick my husband into doing something he doesn't want to do. I just know that what I do and say has more influence over him than anything else. What I do and say almost assuredly determines what he does. Knowing this, I have to choose my actions wisely. I can build him up or crush him with my words. I chose to build him up whenever possible and in return I get a confident, thoughtful husband.

Deejo

Let's all just accept that some husbands and wives are simply friggin idiots. I don't feel compelled to qualify my statement beyond just that.

Present company excluded but the term 'friggin idiot' may or may not pertain to the partners or former partners of present company within the Men's Clubhouse. See your ex-partner for details.

cherrypie18

Your putting it this way makes me feel like the whole discussion was pointless and a waste of time lol

nice777guy

The impression that I've gotten is that BBW and MEM have great relationships with their wives. I'm just not convinced that what works for them will work for everyone else.

Deejo - now you have me wondering - if dom marries sub, nice marries mean, who do the friggin' idiots marry?

And themrs and cherrypie - why am I starting to picture George Jefferson, Ralph Kramden (?sp?), (Everybody Loves) Raymond or most of the TV husbands who think they are in control - until the end of the episode when the wife has to swoop in and teach them the lesson of the day?

You're saying you want want Ward Cleaver, but are you really willing to be June and wear the pearls while you cook dinner and we sit back and read the paper?

And please, no jokes about being too hard on the beaver...

themrs

Wasn't a waste of time to me. I enjoyed the conversation!

Deejo

It's more of a disclaimer to enable further discussion.

Not all partners are 'worth' the effort to keep them.

Deejo

I have thought about this a great deal, and it seems clear that most friggin idiots marry Yankees fans.

Oh ... and you left out accuracy. We can pi$$ farther, and with better accuracy. We can write our names in the snow ...

themrs

LOL! I would NEVER treat my husband the way tv wives treat their husbands. That's why they are on sitcoms. It's all a joke. They make men look incapable of doing ANYTHING on those shows and women are martyrs that do EVERYTHING and can't get their husbands do wash a dish. No thank you.

My husband IS in control, but I influence his decisions. I don't want to be in control of my husband. I trust him.

nice777guy

I don't even think that Cliff Huxtable was in control.

WE NEED MORE ARCHIE BUNKERS!!!

"And you knew who you were then
Girls were girls and men were men"

nice777guy

themrs

Fine, roll your eyes. But it's true. Men have the same ability to make a woman feel beautiful or rob her of her self esteem. It's not a mystery.

nice777guy

Yes - I know. I realize I was taking your words out of context. It just played too well into my "manipulation" idea.

TV shows really did change sometime - maybe early 80s. Used to be the husband was a strong man who was in charge. Now he's usually the lovable oaf who has to hope that his wife or kids come along to bail him out of trouble.

cherrypie18

But it's jokes based on real life...

Oh but my MIL was a lot like Ray's mom LOL

I would not and did not treat my husband like Deborah treats Ray. Ray is kind of a lazy doormat and it's men like that who end up with control freaks and eventually get taken advantage of.

nice777guy

But we are raised almost exclusively by women.

My girls were recently commenting and laughing that there was a MALE homeroom teacher at their grade school. They just think it seems ridiculous.

Women raise us. We don't have much exposure to men - except for a small amount of time at home with Dad in the evening and maybe the weekend. And what we see on TV or movies.

If a parent stays home, its almost always the mother. At school and daycare - more women in charge. Maybe a male principal - who we only see if we are bad. Or a male gym teacher - offset by a female gym teacher.

Maybe we need more stay at home dads?

Scannerguard

Sergeant-At-Arms!

Please escort this "niceguy" out the door of the Men's Clubhouse and don't let him back in for a week while he ponders what he just wrote.