Re: Old but telling article about men doing housework (UK)
Scanner,
In all sincerity, how do you show admiration to a man? I do know I want love and I know hubbie wants to be admired. How do I show this? Compliments? This is a serious question that I love to hear your pearls of wisdom on and other guys as well.
Re: Old but telling article about men doing housework (UK)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brennan
Scanner,
In all sincerity, how do you show admiration to a man? I do know I want love and I know hubbie wants to be admired. How do I show this? Compliments? This is a serious question that I love to hear your pearls of wisdom on and other guys as well.
Scanners quote sounded real good the first time I read it.
Then you start thinking about your question - and I come up with a very short list:
Listen
Compliment
Treat him - and his values - respectfully
But then I think that these are also applicable to women. If not more so. Especially the Listen and Compliment parts.
So - is Love really more important to women than it is to men?
Re: Old but telling article about men doing housework (UK)
Well, ever do any acting on stage? I did a lot in high school.
Wow. . .you would have never guessed it but I am kind of a ham.
Anyway, I would say when you act on stage, you almost have to "overact" as compared to TV and movies as there is no close-up. Otherwise, the audience doesn't get it. They don't see facial expressions and nuances of verbal tone.
It's the same way with men.
While images of Delta Burke (I think that was her name from Designing Women) being all flirty and obvious with men may make you wince, I think that's exactly what you have to be with a man.
Like if he lifts something heavy, admire his strength and say, "Oh my! I just can't beleive what a big and strong man I married! I am so happy to have that around me!" And be sincere (lol!)! Show yourself getting all hot and bothered by that, even if it's just a moment of wetness and then you clear your brow.
That's just one example that can be extrapolated to all departments - finances, for instance.
"I don't think I could ever understand the world of investing like you do. I am so happy you handle that for me!!!"
Not for nothing, this will work.
You'll then get your "lovin", if you give "admiration."
It's biological. We fluff our feathers and want to be noticed from the women in nest with just brown and white feathers.
Now, if you would just tell me how much I make you laugh so. . .I'll give you your lovin'
Re: Old but telling article about men doing housework (UK)
That actually happens a lot when we get into these gender discussions. When speaking generally, things sound really good.
Then you break them down into specifics, and you see that neither gender wishes to be taken for granted, ignored, etc., etc.,
What woman doesn't want to be told how "hot" she looks before going out on a date with her husband?
And they want to hear it with the same enthusiasm that Delta Burke would use.
And if I ever heard a woman say that they couldn't possibly understand the complicated world of accounting - I would think they were being sarcastic - or trying to get something from me...
Re: Old but telling article about men doing housework (UK)
Quote:
Originally Posted by nice777guy
Scanners quote sounded real good the first time I read it.
Then you start thinking about your question - and I come up with a very short list:
Listen
Compliment
I don't know about other people. But if I was attempting to compliment my DH and it came out ... even a little bit contrived, it would have the polar opposite effect.
Re: Old but telling article about men doing housework (UK)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scannerguard
While images of Delta Burke (I think that was her name from Designing Women) being all flirty and obvious with men may make you wince, I think that's exactly what you have to be with a man.
See this is an example. It may be how YOU would like it. But I am pretty sure that if you did that with my DH, he would happily take you home and f*** you, but he wouldn't want to date or marry you... assuming he was free to take you home and ... you know.
Quote:
Like if he lifts something heavy, admire his strength and say, "Oh my! I just can't beleive what a big and strong man I married! I am so happy to have that around me!"
Literally.
We make a joke about that. I just keep him around to lift heavy things. I make gushing noises when he lifts.... as a joke!
SINCERE appreciation comes when he enters the house wearing a tool belt. He never gets anything done with his tool belt on.
Quote:
"I don't think I could ever understand the world of investing like you do. I am so happy you handle that for me!!!"
Re: Old but telling article about men doing housework (UK)
All good talking points but my husband is more cerebral. What I mean is he couldn't give a crap if I told him he can lift well. The finance part is out as he doesn't take care of them, I do. Former stockbroker and now work in accounting. He would die laughing if I complimented him on finances. Anything else? Take an interest in his gaming? I mean this guy is really really intelligent. Yes, Mensa member, I kid you not. I think he might see this as pandering to him. I don't know. Throw anything else out there guys, keep 'em coming.
Re: Old but telling article about men doing housework (UK)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crypsys
. A thread about penis length doesn't stand out (to me at least) as all that odd. Then again, I never saw the thread in question, so I may be speaking from a incomplete picture of the situation..
I tried to help GreenPearl out, told her about this DVD I rented about a year ago (couldn't believe Netflix & Blockbuster carry this), if they have this in her country, maybe her curisoity will be satisfied.
Re: Old but telling article about men doing housework (UK)
Brennan, one thing that my DH likes is for me to listen to him about his work. We share the same field, or at least we did before I left to school the kids. My husband is also Mensa, so I don't try to keep up with his thinking. If he were to try to explain a game or puzzle, I would be lost. But I CAN recognize when he solved a software problem elegantly, handled a customer or managed his boss with grace and aplomb. On the flip side, if I think he acted like a touch of a bone head, I don't say anything.
For me it is not really admiration that I am trying to show. I am thinking scannerguard has to be kidding with all that big hunky man meat stuff. But genuine *appreciation* never goes awry. (And when I first started doing it, I had to look pretty hard for things to appreciate if you want to know the truth.) Now it is very easy. Thank you so much for making (insert kid's name here) costume. I never would have been able to make that as well. True dat. Wow I was really stressing out about that birthday cake. Thanks for making it. Oh boy, our friends really enjoyed that meal. It was nice for me to get to sit and socialize. Thanks for cooking! Oh Lord honey, thanks for that massage. That is just what I needed.
Re: Old but telling article about men doing housework (UK)
Brennan - is there some way you can become involved in his gaming? Aren't some of those games almost "social" in nature now? Don't know anything about it, but I've seen several posts around here where people start having EAs through World of Warcraft. Sounds strange to me - but I guess its a reality. So - depending on what he's playing - it could possibly be a way for you to connect.
I have to admit that I kind of like my wife showing "concern" over the bruises I get from Judo. And yes - if I lift something heavy and get a compliment - the ego goes up.
And there have been a few times when I've stretched my comfort zone on home repairs when I DIDN'T get a compliment when something was a bit harder than it looked. Fixing a switch on the washer for example. Wasn't too hard - but I was proud that I even tried it. But my wife just kind of glossed over it.
Re: Old but telling article about men doing housework (UK) 
Literally. 
