I think the lesson here to be learned was that I had a point (maybe I am not entirely right in my position (no actually, I think I am
) but just had a point) entirely that you did something that Southern Women and Asian women seem to understand intuitively or are raised that way culturally (I am from Joisey/PA BTW): You stood by your man.
Vthomeschoolmom says women aren't raised that way and yes, I do beleive that is correct.
Too bad then; mothers are failing their daughters then (and I would say this falls 80% to moms - a mom showing admiration for dad is a great model).
Men can say they don't like that, that they don't respond to it, and I am oh-so-Modern and my husband is oh-so-Modern but I don't buy it any more than a Woman who says she doesn't want the door held for her and for a chair to be held for her. (in that a Southern gentlemen may understand women better).
I think this is a huge miscommunication of the sexes.
You are looking for "love", right? So you assume
that your guy is looking for love too,right? In fact, you kind of roll your emotional dice on it and it comes up craps. No, he is looking for admiration. We don't seek the same thing for some reason, a gender difference, but the love will springforth from the admiration you give him.
And this may become a case of "Where you fake it until you make it." Yes, it will seem contrived at first but I bet you actually start having these feelings in due time. Like when you put on a new outfit and change your outward appearance, you start to feel better about yourself. You transform from the outside in.
If you examine failed relationships and successful ones (like SA's and Greenpearl), these are women who exist in awe of their husbands, who may really just be kinda average guys to you or me, a guy who is a tire salesman or something. But. . .but. . .I bet they are like Sally Brown around the house with them, hearts coming out and it's genuine.
In my failed relationship, it was yearrrrrssss since I remember her expressing any admiration for me other than, "He's a good father" And after awhile that just seemed to be a line like, "You suck but here's a consolation prize. . .you're a good parent - you know how to change a diaper.
But I don't think of you like a man."
Now I know what I want in a woman.
Are SA's and Greenpearls' marriage's perfect? I really doubt it. But they seem strongly founded.
I think you may have some direction and some foundation for rebuilding. Now if you give and give admiration and don't get love back, at least a little. . .then the ball's in his court IMO and we'd have to see what's up with him. But the hug in the car was a great sign IMO.
Circle around. . .try again.