Originally Posted by Deejo
VT, Have you ever known a guy that simply wouldn't take that challenging step? The guy who would settle for OK instead of going for great because it may result in conflict or loss?
The guy that could get the girl but doesn't take that step for fear of rejection. The guy that could have a better, more balanced marriage if he learned how to assert himself at the risk of conflict instead of consistently compromising and capitulating thinking he is doing the 'right' thing?
You are making it a gender issue that it isn't. Anyone who is conflict averse is going to have a bad time about solving problems. ANYONE who decides to lay down and take **** is likely to eventually get ****.
That is the crux of what we we're talking about. Do you just not see that, or are you simply more content challenging it?
I see things differently than you do. What you guys are typing reads way differently to me. I could accuse you of just not seeing as well.
There is room in the world for non-assertive men and assertive women. My husband, while nobody's *****, is not assertive. He just doesn't care enough about details to press too many issues. If faced with a just friend who wasn't interested, he would simply walk away. He has enough confidence not to wallow over some woman.
When it is time to challenge a bill, or press for better price or customer service, he is not the guy you would call. You would tap me for that.
The guy in the original story is a nice guy. You guys may choose to use that as dirty term. But I love my nice guy. Why would a nice guy try to change himself into someone else to "get" a girl? Don't get me wrong, no one deserves to be a carpet. But nor do they need to be some vision of a "man" or a "woman" as cast by someone else. My advice to the man in that story, go find a woman who cherishes you for who you ARE.
Each *person* is who they are. Our society does no one a service when it perpetuates these gender stereotypes to the distraction of learning about PEOPLE.