My husband and I have been married for 7 years this past August, but we have been together for 12 years. Four years ago, we had an adorable little boy. We own our own business that was started 3 years ago and I am a stay at home mom.
We have had a hard couple of months that seemed like everything was just against us. My parents almost got a divorce, his brother almost got a divorce, we struggled on looking for a new house (bought one finally), currently remodeling the kitchen.
Two weeks ago, my husband said he is LOST and doesn't know what he wants in his life. He has no hobbies anymore. He feels like he just goes to work and comes home. He wants to go out and hang out with his friends and do what he wants. He said that he wants to be by himself for awhile to FIND himself.
He said that he doesn't find me attractive anymore, but he doesn't understand why because I am looking better than I have for a couple of years. (I gained a lot of weight after the pregnancy and I am now working out and losing weight.
) Hearing him say that hurts so bad. He has also gained a lot of weight during the years.
He also has lied to me. He went to a football game with his family about a month ago. He had to drop off his uncle in Tampa. I started getting worried because HOURS were passing by and he wasn't home yet. I called him and he told me he was really tired and decide to pull over at a store to wake up and fell asleep. Well, I told him that it sounded fishy (he is not a good lier). He told me that he went to a furniture store that I liked and that he was going to surprise me with a new dining room table, but he couldn't remember which one I liked. Well, during our talk this past two weeks, he told me he had lied to me about going to the furniture store. He went to a strip club. I normally don't care if he goes to them as long as he tells me. But he LIED to me. He said he felt guilty that he is having fantasies about other women and that he is not attracted to me anymore. He said joking to me that maybe I should let him try to get some from someone else, just so he could be shot down and then he might not feel this way anymore.
I don't agree with divorce, but I think that is what he wants. He wants his freedom. He said he will try to make our marriage work for our son. But it is killing me to be in a marriage where he doesn't want me. We have a hard time talking to each other right now. I just want to cry, but I have to be strong for my son.
He told me Sunday night that he knows that he is ruining our marriage. He just doesn't know why. He has fought depression his whole life, but doesn't want to go to a doctor for it. He says he is very unhappy in life and our marriage is boring. I have been trying. Bought some sexy lingerie, toys and made a romantic fun evening. He said the intimacy part he liked, but most of it did nothing for him (the sex).
He told me that he sees me as the mother to his son and thats about it.
It just hurts so much that the man I love does love me anymore.
I want to fix this!!! I need help!!!!
Sorry so long...