I never see it as a chore, but my husband certainly must....And the thing I don't understand is how he exclaims how good it is (when we would have sex) one yr is was FOUR times! It's been a few months now (I used to keep up, now I don't care-take care of myself) *sigh* oh well
So, surely you have a theory. Why do you think your husband is avoiding sex?
So, surely you have a theory. Why do you think your husband is avoiding sex?
Cause he's an IDIOT?
Nah...he has no desire. He's on steroids and he said they made him feel better (he had low test) but I haven't reeped the benefits of his better feelings.
And I too believe that he gets into it and enjoys it BUT I've been the one initiating sex for years and I've stopped. Tired of feeling like I'm forcing myself on him.
It honestly blows my mind....I look better than I ever have. My sex drive is thru the roof and I am open to new things...he just doesn't want to participate...so again, I'm at a loss.
I just can't live the rest of my life like this....everyone is saying, "Work on your marriage"...but because of how I feel or don't feel without intimacy, it's affected every other aspect of our relationship.
according to my husband who has admitted to not wanting sex with me and not finding me attractive said it has a lot to do with me "being open" with him.
according to my husband who has admitted to not wanting sex with me and not finding me attractive said it has a lot to do with me "being open" with him.
I think "open" refers to telling him what she wants and being freaky (use your own definition here...everyone's is different).
Yeah, I can't always figure it out either. I have the same issue, but there is ED, medication, age, and medical issues involved. And apparently the ED is a much bigger issue for him than I thought. For some men, their ability to perform dictates the frequency of having sex. My husband has ED issues, so he says he doesn't want to feel like a failure all the time and that he "has to perform" and I don't understand...he's right - I don't. If you can't do one thing you move onto another.
But...this is a big deal for men, especially those that consider themselves macho and their manly ego is all tied up in what the "little head" is doing, not the big one! And unfortunately I have one of those macho-ego driven men...so, if anyone comes up with a one-size fits all explanation or solution - let me know.
I kind of feel like only half of my question is getting answered.
Do we think men just lose passion for their own woman? Or do some men truly lose their passion?
Some of these men whose wives seem to come here with a genuine interest in reviving their sex lives - has a part of these men died? Has the fire inside of them really gone out?
Or would they react with passion to the same attention from a DIFFERENT woman or a new relationship without the baggage?
I kind of feel like only half of my question is getting answered.
Do we think men just lose passion for their own woman? Or do some men truly lose their passion?
Some of these men whose wives seem to come here with a genuine interest in reviving their sex lives - has a part of these men died? Has the fire inside of them really gone out?
Or would they react with passion to the same attention from a DIFFERENT woman or a new relationship without the baggage?
I would guess that it depends on the man with some falling in either or category. Relationships are so freaking complex.
I think "open" refers to telling him what she wants and being freaky (use your own definition here...everyone's is different).
Yeah, I can't always figure it out either. I have the same issue, but there is ED, medication, age, and medical issues involved. And apparently the ED is a much bigger issue for him than I thought. For some men, their ability to perform dictates the frequency of having sex. My husband has ED issues, so he says he doesn't want to feel like a failure all the time and that he "has to perform" and I don't understand...he's right - I don't. If you can't do one thing you move onto another.
But...this is a big deal for men, especially those that consider themselves macho and their manly ego is all tied up in what the "little head" is doing, not the big one! And unfortunately I have one of those macho-ego driven men...so, if anyone comes up with a one-size fits all explanation or solution - let me know.
I totally get what you're saying....
But what do I do when everything he has works just fine...
I'm serious...NO PROBLEMS!
The only problem he is sending me mixed signals.
"I love you"
"You're hot"
Cried when we've talked...I've made it CRYSTAL CLEAR I need sex, love making, getting busy...whatever you wanna call it.
Nothing....
actually he meant more open emotionally - I'm the freaky one out of us two and am willing to try just about anything. And yes, I'm sure it's hard to communicate the fact that you've lost desire for your spouse, because as soon as you do, if that person had any desire for you - you've just killed it and now you're really at an impasse.
I think I should just be quiet, I'm not helping....
Of course you are, you actually tagged one of the things we've been talking about - you claimed that you believe he has lost his 'fire in the belly', or passion for life, passion for pursuing you in particular.
You're also helping because we're making a mental note of all of the women posting here who have made themselves hot, desirable and have the libido of a teenage boy, but whose husbands aren't delivering the goods.
Re: What Kills a Man's Sex Drive? 
