Thanks you guys. I am begining to see these tests as they happen and it appears to be no less than 4-5 times in the 4 hours I am awake after I get home from work. Now I need to work on recognizing them quickly enough to give a quick responce and I should be ok.
Just whatever you do, don't take them at face value. "Why'd you shut the car door that way? The right way is to blah blah blah"
Have noticed a major differnce in my interactaions with my wife latley. I have been catching most sh!t tests as they come along and they have been getting less and less each day.
One thing that trips me up 100% is this. I don't always think things through and often say or do stupid sh!t. I have a very high I.Q. but a complete lack of common sense at times (my friends have always said I am "the dumbest smart person they know). How do I approach it when I know I have done something stupid and she calls me on it?
[QUOTE=greenpearl;205412]How much do you men understand women?
Sometimes we just yell out something which hurts but we don't mean it. I have done it.
Sometimes we are just acting childish and spoiled, and we want our men's attention and love. If we get it, we are silent. A hug, a kiss, a touch, fix all the hurt.
Sometimes we are being unreasonable, you just need to be firm, but don't call us down, don't yell at us, don't scream at us. We scream and yell because we are unreasonable, if you start screaming and yelling, you are not much better than us, that's called self-control, sorry, men, I know I am being unfair to require men to be better in this area, but if you want us women to respect you as men, you have to learn to master this skill.
When we are bothered by work or family stuff, you don't need to agree that we are right, but you also don't need to be defensive against us, that's just going to stop us from telling you what's bothering us!
Please always remember than we have periods, and we tend to be very moody before our periods, never pick up a fight during those days, because we are lost and confused and don't know why we feel so low those days. We don't like it either.[/QUOte
No need for any man to tolerate this type of abuse. Women who act like this are abusers and need to be called on it.
"Fitness test" is a term mostly I have seen on this site.
In the rest of the world, the term is mostly "Sh!t test".
So spend time to google that term if wanted to really get some examples.
However be understanding, you will mostly in seduction or "gaming" culture websites, and that personally I am not a proponent of casual sex or using women for sex, so that should be clear.
However, the tests, between dating and marriage they are similar, and to pass them in proper attitude, is exactly the same as the married man even of many many years.
So it may be of benefit for these questions to see it in action in this example:
I've read through most of this thread, and I must say, this is some good stuff.
I'm a recovering nice guy trying really hard to change my behaviors. I'm still learning, so bear with me.
That said, I could use some advice. Here's the scenario.
Wife's Birthday was a few weeks back. She decided what she wanted to do, and we did it. Dinner with friend at her favorite place. Nice evening.
My Birthday is coming up shortly. She asked what I wanted to do. I said dinner at my favorite place and watching the football game with friends out at one of our favorite places. She says OK.
A bit later it changes. Her work holiday party is the night before my Birthday, as it usually is. We have a sitter for that night for the kids. She said it'd be tough to find a sitter two night in a row. I say whatever, we'll work it out. Then, I get this. Well, the only weekend available to get a Christmas tree is your birthday weekend. Specifically, on my birthday. So, we need to do that. I say OK, but that means we can't do dinner, because the tree is never a quick and easy affair at our house. Now it's somehow morphed to going with her parent to find a tree and stopping for a drink after. Sheesh, I let this get away.
I now laid this out. We can get a tree, but after that, here's the deal. I'm cooking myself a steak and watching the game. She asked who I wanted to invite over for the game. I said I don't care if anyone comes over for the game. I'm cooking myself a steak and watching the game. Tree up or no tree up, that's what I'm doing. Join me or don't.
That's a long story I guess. But at this point, what's my recourse? The tree is always a good family event for the kids, so I don't mind doing it. Just feeling like she's tried to bully her way through this and not sure how to react here. Thanks for any advice.
I’d say you’re last on your wife’s list of priorities even on your special day. Plus more or less no matter what you do that’s different to her plans you are going to be seen as the bad guy. And in that she’s either consciously or unconsciously set you up.
First off I think I’d ask my wife first off just why it is that you are last on her priorities (including her work). But no matter what the answer (unless of course she capitulates of her own accord and does what you want to do) I’d take off somewhere by myself for the weekend and make sure I thoroughly enjoy myself. For me that’d be fishing, cycling, walking things like that.
I agree with the previos poster. I think I would point out that on her birthday you made her and her wishes the priority and made it happen. On your birthday she should have showed you that same consideration. Since she is not, you will compromise for the kids sake and get the tree - following that you will make yourself the priority and this is what you are going to do. You might even calmly note that you are disappointed with her lack of consideration, and suggest you may need to re-evaluate your priority system as well in retrospect.
IT was the scene from the movie Titanic when Rose approached Jack on deck to thank him for stopping her from jumping off the ship the previous night.
The pleasantries quickly evolve into a fiesty sparring full of fitness tests that Jack handles to practicaly textbook fashion, culminating in Rose grabbing his sketch book and becoming enamoured at his drawings.
Although I am not terribly a fan of the movie in general for many reasons, that scene is very useful for fitness test examples and study.
Particularly interesting when one learns that the writer/director James Cameron had no script for that scene, wanting instead for DiCaprio and Winslet to instead improv and ad lib the entire exchange, which they did most excellently.
Very worthwhile popular culture scene for this type of discussion.
IT was the scene from the movie Titanic when Rose approached Jack on deck to thank him for stopping her from jumping off the ship the previous night.
The pleasantries quickly evolve into a fiesty sparring full of fitness tests that Jack handles to practicaly textbook fashion, culminating in Rose grabbing his sketch book and becoming enamoured at his drawings.
Although I am not terribly a fan of the movie in general for many reasons, that scene is very useful for fitness test examples and study.
Particularly interesting when one learns that the writer/director James Cameron had no script for that scene, wanting instead for DiCaprio and Winslet to instead improv and ad lib the entire exchange, which they did most excellently.
Very worthwhile popular culture scene for this type of discussion.
Since my WAW left over a month ago, I have had plenty of time to reflect on what went wrong. I can not help but think that I had been tested all along for many months and resorted to the NG default and failed miserably.
I totally won this text exchange this morning and felt compared to share.
I received a txt this morning: a photo of some stale Kix with the following message:
'U left the bag open. now garbage cuz it's like bubblegum.'
(this is fairly common - griping about things around the house that may or may not be my fault, and usually isn't very important.)
My response:
'It was old anyway. We can get more.'
No response. Then a few minutes later I texted:
Reasons to text or call hubby at work.
1. saying you love him.
2. the baby did something cute.
3. sexting.
4. evening/dinner plans
5. emergencies
6. replying to his text or call
Reasons NOT to text him:
1. 5 month old boxes of stale cereal!!!
Sometimes we just yell out something which hurts but we don't mean it. I have done it.
Sometimes we are just acting childish and spoiled, and we want our men's attention and love. If we get it, we are silent. A hug, a kiss, a touch, fix all the hurt.
Sometimes we are being unreasonable, you just need to be firm, but don't call us down, don't yell at us, don't scream at us. We scream and yell because we are unreasonable, if you start screaming and yelling, you are not much better than us, that's called self-control, sorry, men, I know I am being unfair to require men to be better in this area, but if you want us women to respect you as men, you have to learn to master this skill.
When we are bothered by work or family stuff, you don't need to agree that we are right, but you also don't need to be defensive against us, that's just going to stop us from telling you what's bothering us!
Please always remember than we have periods, and we tend to be very moody before our periods, never pick up a fight during those days, because we are lost and confused and don't know why we feel so low those days. We don't like it either.
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Re: Fitness Tests 
