Re: In reference to the Nice Guy thread.....Bad girls - Good girls
I like a 'good girl' with a bad side and some shocking dirty secrets that you would never expect from such a 'good girl'. I'm not attracted to the classic bad girl archetype.
Re: In reference to the Nice Guy thread.....Bad girls - Good girls
I'm very easy going and laid back. My wife has an Alpha personality. I guess you could call her a "bad" girl - at least in attitude.
I can't imagine how boring my life might be had a married a "nice girl." I think that there is always one person in the relationship who brings a spark, or certain level of excitement. My wife has that spark.
Re: In reference to the Nice Guy thread.....Bad girls - Good girls
I'm a very, very nice girl but I can be very, very bad. Typically I avoid conflict in public with strangers including mean grocery clerks or people who cut lines, etc. I will always defer to my husband when it comes to paying the check and love for him to hold the door open for me but at home it's a different story. I need to feel empowered as well as safe at home so if I start to feel these things slide I will get b***** and/or distant. In the bedroom, depends on the mood but let's just say I have no problem with dominance/submission in the bedroom at all.
Re: In reference to the Nice Guy thread.....Bad girls - Good girls
My wife just left after 14.5 years of marriage. I feel that I was the nice guy, always doing what was right for our kids and caring more about her than myself - (her 3 boys and our daughter). She suffers from major depression and really bad mood swings - she has seen counseling, but she states she just needs to be happy with herself before she can be happy with us. Well, we are going on 2 weeks, and things are getting easier to go on without her. There is sadness in the house, but no tension or depression. Did I mention that we have filed for an uncontested divorce and I get our daughter - and her boys want to stay with me. (one almost in college, the other in college - so they wont be around long - but it makes me feel like I did something right.) Well, nice guys finish last.
I dont know why I put up with it all those years. But I truly want a nice girl, who knows that family is important, and can just enoy life without thinking the whole world sucks. I am scared of how I will act in my next relationship - if there ever will be one. I am afraid I will be very detached and distant. This could keep me from meeting someone to grow old with. Please let me know that there are some decent women out there.
Re: In reference to the Nice Guy thread.....Bad girls - Good girls
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guy43
My wife just left after 14.5 years of marriage. I feel that I was the nice guy, always doing what was right for our kids and caring more about her than myself - (her 3 boys and our daughter). She suffers from major depression and really bad mood swings - she has seen counseling, but she states she just needs to be happy with herself before she can be happy with us. Well, we are going on 2 weeks, and things are getting easier to go on without her. There is sadness in the house, but no tension or depression. Did I mention that we have filed for an uncontested divorce and I get our daughter - and her boys want to stay with me. (one almost in college, the other in college - so they wont be around long - but it makes me feel like I did something right.) Well, nice guys finish last.
I dont know why I put up with it all those years. But I truly want a nice girl, who knows that family is important, and can just enoy life without thinking the whole world sucks. I am scared of how I will act in my next relationship - if there ever will be one. I am afraid I will be very detached and distant. This could keep me from meeting someone to grow old with. Please let me know that there are some decent women out there.
Guy,
Seriously, go to a counselor. Find a good one.
Make peace with yourself.
You'll never regret it. And, as a healthy byproduct, what you should do going forward will become crystal clear.
Re: In reference to the Nice Guy thread.....Bad girls - Good girls
I remember reading an article about this question, and wish I had saved it because the psychologist broke down answers given by men into a few basic traits that most men desire.
Basically, personalities can vary, but most men want a mate who believes in them even though they know their flaws. Someone who believes them to be capable of achieving their dreams, and verbalizes this with affirming language.
Sounds hoakey, but when I was a very troubled teenager, I always remember the girlfriend who believed in me. We were friends since childhood. So, I'm not one of the nice guys. At work, I'm labelled as a highly agressive, yet high empathy. For a number of years, though, I went to a boy's school for troubled (mostly violent) boys. Finally, when I went back to normal school (her school), I was picked to join a new program for gifted kids. That was the wrong label for my area. Meant that I had to be ready to fight. Guys who love reading Kant don't last long in an environment where the favorite pasttime is brawling. (And the guys from the neighborhood gang would recognize me by my screenname here)
Every day, when I got out of detention, she was there, waiting. She'd hold my hand at lunch to keep me out of trouble, but I just enjoyed her kisses. Told me I didn't belong there.
After a short stint of living on the streets when my step mother kicked me out, I had to move away and she became a model, and married another. I selected one of seven sholarship offers and never looked back.
Maybe this is only relevant to me and my situation, but this is probably the only thing I'd change about my wife if I was able.
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In reference to the Nice Guy thread.....Bad girls - Good girls 
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Re: In reference to the Nice Guy thread.....Bad girls - Good girls 
