amanda1959

I am just wondering where I can kind love again. I am 50 and still in good shape and I am told I am pretty. After all the pain in my marriage my self esteem is rock bottom. What should I do and where should I go to attract a loving relationship. I am ready

michzz

Just realize you have a chance for a fresh slate. And don't base your self worth on the negatives you've experienced.

Take another swing at it.

Therealbrighteyes

Amanda,
Age means nothing. You can find love at any age. I do however think you are questioning whether to stay in your marriage because you fear not being able to find love again. You need a partner, if you will. I think a long term marriage makes it difficult for us to see ourselves without a partner in our lives.
My coworker is 56 and was married for 27 years when her husband came home and told her he was done with the marriage. They have no children and she thought they were each others "rock". Apparently his "rock" was a 32 year old 3 time divorced woman who cheated on all her husbands. She was devastated beyond belief. She tried so hard to make things work but was smart enough to realize she cannot do all the lifting. She agreed to the divorce.
She waited 3 years before even considering dating again and then as if fate happened, she met him at a church she recently joined. He was also abandoned by his wife. They hit it off.
He is 57 and she 56. They are getting married Christmas Eve in a small, candlelight ceremony. When you see the two of them together, nothing in the past matters. They found each other and they are perfect. Moral of the story, love comes at all ages. You never know who is out there.

amanda1959

thank you for the beautiful story there are tears in my eyes

Therealbrighteyes

Amanda,
Do not settle for less. You truly deserve SO much more, you have no idea. I know it's difficult. She was like you in so many ways. Get rid of the bum. You will feel a life you could never imagine, EVER.

takris

My twin daughters play the harp in weddings, restaraunts, etc. I'm the one who carries it around and helps set it up (and bought two of the darn things for $20k each). Recently, my manager and I were discussing how the Internet has changed this area. Basically, I live in a community where most work for the local Fortune 100 company. We did half a dozen weddings this past summer with men from my company who married women from across the country. All were middle aged.

It happens!

Point is, there is a wide open field of candidates, thanks to the Internet.

F-102

Someone said that 60 is the new 40. There's no law against finding love again-go for it!

AFEH

Bless you F102 you made me chuckle. I'm 61! Haven't a clue if I'm fooling myself but no way do I feel my age. My eyes are too young though as far as women are concerned and I'm trying to readjust them lol.

Bob

cowgirl

it aint over til it is over

okeydokie

chin up buttercup. you will find the one

AFEH

Amanda, aren’t you still married and still having problems with your husband?

Look I’m 61 been separated for near 12 months. Still fit, healthy etc. Lets just say for arguments sake the two of us met somewhere and “clicked”. I have to be honest with you Amanda if you are still married and if you haven’t put all the issues with your husband behind you, resolved them in your head and come to terms with them I would kindly walk away. No matter how attracted I felt towards you.

Ask yourself “Why would a man around our ages take on board a woman who hasn’t resolved her marriage issues and has low self-esteem?”.

I don’t mean to be unkind if that’s how I’m coming across. Rather I’m trying to encourage you to work on putting your marriage behind you if indeed you are married and that is what you have decided to do. Please do not go looking for a man with the expectation that he will raise your self-esteem. Why? Because if you start off your new journey that way you will attract the wrong type of man and your self-esteem and self-respect will go down even lower.

If you have ended your marriage in your head then get it over and done with. Then start working on yourself. Get out and enjoy life, pick up new hobbies, new interests find out what at the core of you what you are interested in doing. Those things will raise your self-esteem and self-respect. They are called “self” because they come from the inside of you. No one can “give” them to you, you have to get them yourself. Then while you are on that new journey you will meet people of similar minds and that’s when people become attracted to one another at our ages.

Bob

cowgirl

if you want a good way to answer your question. take a trip to veges some weekend.
128,250 couples who got married in Las Vegas in 2004 (roughly 5.5 percent of all marriages in the United States take place in Vegas) if you think about what age do you think most of these people are?
of course for the best shot at making a new connection it is wise to be at your best. work out and make sure you own life is in order. be what you want to attract!

nice777guy

I don't think whether or not you can attract another man should help you determine if you stay with your current husband. Hope that's not what you are really asking...

amanda1959

well i don't want to be alone do most people? I just wonder if I will ever find someone who will "get me" I don't think I am that complicated (have never been told that)
so yes in a way the question was asked for that reason

nice777guy

I was ready to start up a local He Man Woman Hater's club!

My wife has an aunt whose husband left her for another woman. She's got a good group of girlfriends. They do craft fairs together, go on trips together (Peru a couple of years ago) - all kinds of things.

You can find people to be around if you don't like being alone. And maybe don't look at it that way, but see it as giving yourself some quiet time to reflect on what you want to do next.

If that ends up being the path you choose.

Do you think your husband "gets" you now? Do you really feel connected to him right now?