Fitness Tests Through the Ages - Page 4
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Old 12-06-2010, 02:04 PM   #46 (permalink)
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People are born self-centered.

Some never quite escape it.
Agreed. Escaping being self-centered is a significant portion of growing up, in my opinion. Some people just grow old.
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Old 12-06-2010, 02:14 PM   #47 (permalink)
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If people are so altruistic, why is big government charity such a colosssal flop everywhere it's tried?
Because that's a bureaucracy
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Old 12-06-2010, 02:15 PM   #48 (permalink)
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Not all people are the same. Some people are altruistic. Some people are selfish.
I know that we live what we are taught. If you want a world that is less selfish than being selfish has to become less accepted and altruism has to be taught. Look around though, selfishism is promoted and altruism is looked at as a rare trait.
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Old 12-06-2010, 02:21 PM   #49 (permalink)
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I know that we live what we are taught. If you want a world that is less selfish than being selfish has to become less accepted and altruism has to be taught. Look around though, selfishism is promoted and altruism is looked at as a rare trait.
It is true. There is an idea that I don't agree with that DH and I were talking about. DH thinks that selfishness, and self pursuit are better for a person. I think that altruism is ... selfish. Or enlightened self interest, I guess.

When we look to our wants we usually come up with shallow useless things. Things that don't sustain our hearts and minds. And sometimes even challenge our conscience. I don't think a person can be happy and self satisfied if they are morally not good. I think that happiness comes from development of CHARACTER and moral behavior more than boats and condos...

Character is about finding what is valuable in life and seeking to promote it. There are many good things to consider valuable. Elder care, children, the sick, the poor... But they are usually about advancing the well being of people and thus our society as a whole. It would seem that character development would be altruism. But since happiness requires character, it is also self interest.

Anyway, that is what I think.
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Old 12-06-2010, 02:54 PM   #50 (permalink)
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It is true. There is an idea that I don't agree with that DH and I were talking about. DH thinks that selfishness, and self pursuit are better for a person. I think that altruism is ... selfish. Or enlightened self interest, I guess.

When we look to our wants we usually come up with shallow useless things. Things that don't sustain our hearts and minds. And sometimes even challenge our conscience. I don't think a person can be happy and self satisfied if they are morally not good. I think that happiness comes from development of CHARACTER and moral behavior more than boats and condos...

Character is about finding what is valuable in life and seeking to promote it. There are many good things to consider valuable. Elder care, children, the sick, the poor... But they are usually about advancing the well being of people and thus our society as a whole. It would seem that character development would be altruism. But since happiness requires character, it is also self interest.

Anyway, that is what I think.
Right. No doubt that I do what I do because I get something out of it. This is self interest. I think that being wantingly selfish is good for the individual but not good for the whole. I think since we are intellectually capable of recognizing this we should do something about it.

I'm really not for welfare or other government subsidized hand outs. This isn't what I mean by kind or empathetic. I do believe in a hand up and not a hand out as that's what most of us truly want. I see welfare as a way to keep the poor, poor and so on and so forth. Relating to and feeling for one another is one trait humanity has and it's a beautiful one. I'm for nourishing this and trying to diminish the importance of the monetary value on things and self status.
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Old 12-06-2010, 03:26 PM   #51 (permalink)
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I know that we live what we are taught. If you want a world that is less selfish than being selfish has to become less accepted and altruism has to be taught. Look around though, selfishism is promoted and altruism is looked at as a rare trait.
Yeah, kids have a real habit of listening to their parents.
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Old 12-06-2010, 03:28 PM   #52 (permalink)
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Yeah, kids have a real habit of listening to their parents.
In my opinion, if our kids don't listen to us, it is because we did not do the right thing in terms of "teaching" them. Many people try to teach by punishment. Or by permissive lecturing and wishy washy words of love and whatnot. Neither are a good way to go, in my opinion.
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Old 12-06-2010, 03:48 PM   #53 (permalink)
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You betcha.

They'll do just what you say, as long as you do it right.
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Old 12-06-2010, 06:14 PM   #54 (permalink)
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In my opinion, if our kids don't listen to us, it is because we did not do the right thing in terms of "teaching" them. Many people try to teach by punishment. Or by permissive lecturing and wishy washy words of love and whatnot. Neither are a good way to go, in my opinion.
I totally agree. To really teach kids you need great examples and you've got to follow through. If my child is punished I make sure that the punishment is fair, we talk about why they are being punished so they understand and I follow through with the punishment till the ends. So if I say no computer for two days then it means no computer for two days.

My kids do listen to me for the most part and I adore them and who they are. Of course my oldest is only 14 so I've got awhile to go, but so far so good.
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Old 12-06-2010, 07:32 PM   #55 (permalink)
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I totally agree. To really teach kids you need great examples and you've got to follow through. If my child is punished I make sure that the punishment is fair, we talk about why they are being punished so they understand and I follow through with the punishment till the ends. So if I say no computer for two days then it means no computer for two days.

My kids do listen to me for the most part and I adore them and who they are. Of course my oldest is only 14 so I've got awhile to go, but so far so good.
Buckle your chin strap.
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Old 12-06-2010, 08:15 PM   #56 (permalink)
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This is one of the few subjects where humor does not belong, and in fact is almost certainly perceived as mysogynistic whether or not that was your intent.


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Wow, that poor woman must have a lot of bruises.
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Old 12-06-2010, 08:53 PM   #57 (permalink)
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Buckle your chin strap.
So true, so true. My experience is that kids do eventually grow up after their rebellious stage and go back to what they're taught. I'm 36 and turned out okay but I definitely put my parents through hell in my teens.
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Old 12-06-2010, 08:54 PM   #58 (permalink)
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This is one of the few subjects where humor does not belong, and in fact is almost certainly perceived as mysogynistic whether or not that was your intent.
Thank you.
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Old 12-06-2010, 09:17 PM   #59 (permalink)
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So true, so true. My experience is that kids do eventually grow up after their rebellious stage and go back to what they're taught. I'm 36 and turned out okay but I definitely put my parents through hell in my teens.
I was a big disappointment for my family when I was a teenager.

A top one student in class suddenly lost interest in studies and became a bad girl.

My oldest brother was very disappointed with me, even now we don't have a good relationship.

My parents couldn't do anything to me. This spring, my sister told me that I caused my mother lots of sleepless nights.

What happened had happened, I am a good woman now.

Actually now, in my family, out of five siblings, my life is the most peaceful and organized. And I have given my parents a lot of love ever since I started to make my own living. I can say I give the most.
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Old 12-06-2010, 09:24 PM   #60 (permalink)
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I was a big disappointment for my family when I was a teenager.

A top one student in class suddenly lost interest in studies and became a bad girl.

My oldest brother was very disappointed with me, even now we don't have a good relationship.

My parents couldn't do anything to me. This spring, my sister told me that I caused my mother lots of sleepless nights.

What happened had happened, I am a good woman now.

Actually now, in my family, out of five siblings, my life is the most peaceful and organized. And I have given my parents a lot of love ever since I started to make my own living. I can say I give the most.
It's true. We tend to go full circle. I am sorry that you still don't have a good relationship with your oldest brother, that stinks.
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