Originally Posted by the guy
coop-it makes sense to me but I'm not being cuckold by my wife
Isn't this Jonny's thread? or are you the same person?
If you are Jonny, please note I said "I'd say shes headed towards the direction of an emotional and/or physical affair."
I was struggling a great deal with my wife for years, but once I changed my mindset everything started falling into place. We went from "lucky to have sex once a month" to sometimes twice in a day. From 6 months without sex and me asking all the time, getting denied and feeling like crap about myself, to her initiating sex more than half the time. More sex in say the past 3 months than in the first 5 years of being together.
I had to unlearn all the PC crap that is fed down our throats by TV, movies, teachers, etc etc and start facing reality. We are biological creatures, and not nearly as evolved as we like to pretend we are. We're all subject to our human biology, instead of denying that, I started to embrace it. It's night and day to how things used to be with my wife.
Its why I felt compelled to sign up and respond to you yesterday. I see a guy going through a rough spot and wanted to see if I could help out.
I wouldn't blame you for not liking what I said, I said things rather bluntly. That said, regardless of everything I said, I'm pleading with you, don't assume your wife isn't going down that path towards an emotional/physical affair.
Try and swap your thinking around to a biological level and forget all the social constructs like "marriage" and "Wife". Thats all high level logical thinking but it isn't what drives us to do what we do. The best way I could explain it, will probably piss off some people but whatever...
Men are more visually stimulated. See hot chick, get turned on, bam.
Women are more emotionally stimulated. See emotional/physical Strength, power and status, get turned on and bam!
Think about everything you're feeling about your wife, your chasing her around the house with arguments, etc etc.... and ask yourself, would you honestly be doing the same things if she was 400 lbs and completely unappealing to you on a sexual level? I highly doubt it. You'd probably be resentful and look at her with disdain. You'd be stuck in a marriage contract with someone you have zero sexual interest for and on some levels you'd feel robbed of the opportunity to find someone that would be appealing to you.
Sound familier? Cause right now, you're the equivalent of the 400 lbs wife to her. Only difference is, her attraction is on more of an emotional level and you're delivering that completely unattractive mate. She probably feels trapped because of the social contract and biologically robbed of being with a stronger mate.
So please, please, please don't just assume your wife isn't headed directly where she is headed if you don't whip yourself together quick. How long could you look at a 400 lbs woman you're socially bound to and resist the temptation of a hot fit woman at work that keeps texting and calling you? Cause for her, that's the same thing with Bob right now.
You might not break for years, but eventually, the dam will break and you'll give in to the temptation.