Just curious - how often do you say "i love you" first? How often does she say it first?
How often do you initiate physical contact? How often does she?
Just as a point of reference. A temperature of zero means NOT doing things that are loving.
This does NOT mean being a jerk, being deliberately inconsiderate or sarcastic. It is not the "presence" of bad behavior. Simply the total absence of loving behavior.
If I did that, and it didn't cause my W acute distress, I would quickly and calmly file. Because I DO need a certain amount of love. I am not needy, but I have needs. And being with someone who is wholly indifferent to my love for them is not acceptable to me. That said, I/She only go into deep freeze mode with each other when we are in the midst of severe conflict which is thankfully rare.
And when we come out of the deep freeze there is always a lot of heat right afterwards. Emotional and sexual. Normal stuff from what I have observed of standard human wiring.
You might want to try some playful friction. I have a LOT of posts on different games my W and I play that escalate to a type of wrestling and that DOES turn her on. Turns her on A LOT. As does a mildly rough, dominant type of sex. She is not into leather or odd clothing/stuff like that. But she doesn't especially like soft gentle sex and I think she is very common in that regard.
Playful friction sounds like the ticket here.
We both say the "I love you" line first about equally, with her probably initiating it more when in general conversation, such as on the phone, and myself initiating it more when I do something mischievous (cunning pranks, not crossing boundaries). I would say that we are not a temp of zero, rather a temp near 45 F (or approx 7 C), which is slightly higher than a refrigerator.
I definitely initiate physical contact more often, without doubt, but I consciously try to do so without any pressure to go further. A hug here, a slight brush of the hair there. If she responds, then great, if not, then I back off. I have even tried to not initiate touching her for a whole day to see if she will be motivated to demonstrate affection and take initiative. That usually fails to generate the desired outcome.
If and when we ever get to the point of sex... which at this point has not happened since early May, she likes very mild rough sex and generally expects that I will be dominant. I wish there was a lot of heat or passion after we come out of a deep freeze. It is more like, meh, let's try this sex thing and see how it goes. I like to please her and I try to elicit feedback so that I can make adjustments or improvements, but personally I don't think she knows herself well enough to provide decent feedback. How can the sex be "great" if someone doesn't want any?