I suppose there is something to be learned from every perspective so i am OK with it (so far HAHA JK!!!!)
Anyway... Ya I get it, I think i may look obsessive on things here, or the eternal over analyzer (maybe I am but it's me, and it what I like, how I study/think and will change the world cuz I am Wonder Woman
) BUt, I do have reasons... I am a person who spends some time in my life being misunderstood, possibiliy because of the way I think, whatever, I am used it in my general life.. That said, I crave being understood by my partner and close friends (the friends I think get me pretty well, and you would have to ask them if that is a chore or given, or um, just as trenton) On the emotional crap on my own, like why I go back, can't break, am such a dopey sao, I don't get me, but that's not what I am talking about entirely here.
What I am talking about is frustration over being misunderstood, and not even know that's happening till it's too late (sorry but I expect someone to be able to say "I don't know what you are talking about" and not just nod the head and go along. I don't mind explaining, I am used it and generally won't be offended) I AM beginning to understand that some of the misunderstanding is in the "other's" constant habit of interpreting me. No matter how often I say not to do that, that I am not giving code but simply straight up words, they get interpreted and I am left thinking "how in hellz did you get THAT?" or "Have you MET me? does that even begin to SOUND like me?" It's a little scary sometimes LOL
But this is where I end up hurt as well. I hear things come back and if I am thinking "have you MET me", it hurts because I feel like if you knew me AT ALL, you would NEVER think I meant THAT. So I get that invisible feeling which again.. one of MY issues, hurts ALOT. So... I am asking lots of questions here, so that I might be able to express myself in a way that I am understood/seen whatever. (It's early here, coffe hasn't fully kicked in)
Also, don't try to think that I am who I am in type exactly. I am told because of my typing, I look like a total dope (I am not einstien, but I am not an idgit either). I am just better at face to face I think (and getting better at type esp on the mac with it's big red lines telling me TYPO YOU IDIOT!!!!)
So try to stick it out with me, I am paying attention (while deconstructing and trying to figure it out.... I KNOW I shouldn't but it's also what makes me the teacher's pet in my classes so.... LOL) Anyway, it has to do with how my mind works, and entirely for me. All this strage crap I am picking apart here, will go into my head, get processed and come out not nearly as insane as it looks going in, I SWEAR!!! My insanity that comes out is totally different LMAO