02-27-2011, 03:32 PM
Join Date: Feb 2011
| | Re: be honest boys...
Originally Posted by credamdóchasgra
Have him "mirror" LITERALLY and VERBATIM what you have said. As insipid as that sounds, it actually works and is necessary when you are dealing with misinterpretation.
After he mirrors, if he doesn't understand, you get to clarify. Then he mirrors your clarification.
I can relate to what you say about the way you think--seeing all the endless connections instead of a simplified answer or linear path (unless I'm misinterpreting
Analytical thinking can get in one's way in intimate and emotional relationships. Analyzing can keep you from finding out what is really hiding behind or under some frustration, concern, or other feeling you might have.
They may all be there and connected, but it can help to take just one at a time.
Then again, I could be misinterpreting you completely; in which case, feel free to disregard whatever doesn't apply!
When i am not in the heat of frustration, I find it easy to take each piece apart, but during a moment of anger or frustration, YA all those connected points are raising flags and screaming out and it totally gets in the way! BUT knowing that, I will often try to work on things that I know are there when it is less heated, just because THAT is when I can more easily keep it on just that thing. In return I get "WHY ARE YOU BRINGING THAT UP NOW? (put in a good snotty nasty voice there HAHA) I do explain that it is way better to do this now than to wait till it's heated and everything connected wants to come out too HAHA
Its hard when you KNOW something is gonna come up later, you tell the other person you KNOW it's gonna come up, but they refuse to take a minute to look at that, then get all pissed off when surprise surprise... it comes back up later DUMMY! I TOLD YOU IT WOULD!!!!!! HAAAAAA What, did you think I was kidding?