be honest boys...

woodstock · 02-27-2011, 03:27 PM

Let me also add, that should there be anything I do not understand about myself, I thankfully have friends who will be BRUTALLY honest (LOVE them for that) no matter how BRUTAL, and I pay attention

So if I am ever confused about myself, I just ask them (they know everything there is to know

)

credamdóchasgra · 02-27-2011, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Conrad

Once you get it all figured out, you begin to realize how much you don't know.

Just ask Aristotle.

woodstock · 02-27-2011, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by credamdóchasgra

Forget paraphrasing.

Have him "mirror" LITERALLY and VERBATIM what you have said. As insipid as that sounds, it actually works and is necessary when you are dealing with misinterpretation.

After he mirrors, if he doesn't understand, you get to clarify. Then he mirrors your clarification.

I can relate to what you say about the way you think--seeing all the endless connections instead of a simplified answer or linear path (unless I'm misinterpreting

)

Analytical thinking can get in one's way in intimate and emotional relationships. Analyzing can keep you from finding out what is really hiding behind or under some frustration, concern, or other feeling you might have.

They may all be there and connected, but it can help to take just one at a time.

Then again, I could be misinterpreting you completely; in which case, feel free to disregard whatever doesn't apply!

When i am not in the heat of frustration, I find it easy to take each piece apart, but during a moment of anger or frustration, YA all those connected points are raising flags and screaming out and it totally gets in the way! BUT knowing that, I will often try to work on things that I know are there when it is less heated, just because THAT is when I can more easily keep it on just that thing. In return I get "WHY ARE YOU BRINGING THAT UP NOW? (put in a good snotty nasty voice there HAHA) I do explain that it is way better to do this now than to wait till it's heated and everything connected wants to come out too HAHA

Its hard when you KNOW something is gonna come up later, you tell the other person you KNOW it's gonna come up, but they refuse to take a minute to look at that, then get all pissed off when surprise surprise... it comes back up later DUMMY! I TOLD YOU IT WOULD!!!!!! HAAAAAA What, did you think I was kidding?

woodstock · 02-28-2011, 09:03 PM

Just want to say thanks.. I did what I said I would, and applied the insight offered here to my RL situation, and though I can't say things went far, they went further than ever before, in part to my approach. I used a few things from here and consciously tried to keep on track with it (slipped a little, but getting as far as I did was a workout from hell HAHA)

Anyway, just wanted to say thanks, and keep it coming, this info is priceless