whittfield

My mother is in the hospital in new york with a terminal illness. I only recently moved to Florida where I stay with my sister until I can get a place of my own. I am married......well separated from my wife and 2 kids. They live in North carolina, and we are reconciling. My wife and I have plans that before november we will have a home together in florida.
I have a mediocre job in florida. I've been there since early december, and I am making some progress as far as work.
Around the 12th of february,I had saved a few dollars and decided it was time to visit my kids and wife in north carolina.
I packed 2 pairs of pants and a pair of shorts, my lazy sneakers, robe, and 1 pair of socks. I planned to stay in north carolina for about 5 days. I travel by train.
While I was in north carolina, my mother became sick and my brother called my sister so that she could tell me. My brother told me, the doctor said she has about six months to live. My sister told me to go straight to my mothers' side.
My wife, believe it or not, helped me get the ticket for the trip. To keep it brief, I am in Newyork right now. My mother is in the hospital, I've been sitting with her everyday-all day. I left Newyork because her and my brother made me stay in the garage of the house that I grew up in, that they live in since my grandma died.
Here's the problem, I have no money, no clothes, and no job here in newyork. All my things, even my birth certificate, dd214, diploma, are in my private things in florida. I dont want to live in newyork, I love florida. My wife does not want to move to newyork. My mom is nagging even at the hospital. I know she is sick and I love her, but I dont know if I should stay, because my life is on hold and I'm not getting any younger, plus my marriage is at stake.
-should I stay or go.

anx

I would not stay with your mother in NY.

You are missing out on your own life. Make your marriage work with your wife and talk to or write you mother when you can.

unbelievable

If I were your father and I had six months to live, I would appreciate that you came to see me, but I would wish to leave this world knowing that you were happy and would be ok. My job was to raise you to be a self-reliant, productive human being and I would rest easier knowing I did my job. My daughter lives in Florida and will soon graduate from nursing school. I don't get to see her as often as I'd like, but I'd prefer her to be independent and successful there as opposed to dependant with me. I think the best gift you can give your parent is to be a well-adjusted, productive adult. You're a good son. You visited your mom and as the end draws closer, you'll do so again. Her job is nearly finished. You have your own children and your own duties to attend to. Somewhere down the road, you will be in your mother's position. What will you want your kids to do?