Brennan,
OK - so the performance anxiety is real. I think I am contradicting what I just posted a moment ago so I will clarify. If I have a performance "problem" in the near future I KNOW what that part of the mirror looks like. She is going to do some version of "Are you not attracted to me anymore"? Which is something that I may have said to her, here and there in the past. I was provoked though - so it was different. But context is not going to protect me. She just laughs and says "Oh lets not split hairs". And then she goes back to glaring at me.
So if I fail "soon" I will get the 'not attracted question'. And then no matter what I say I am going to get: "Don't be silly, you aren't THAT old" and "you can be honest with me - really".
If however I can perform for at least a week - then I am going to come back with "You find me ONE couple we know who has connected 14 times in 7 days and we can talk about me and my performance problems/supposed lack of attraction".
So that is my goal. To manage to avoid a ummm failure for a week.
Ok, all kidding aside, performance anxiety is real for both men AND women. You were pretty dismissive when she was feeling it and from your previous post the message I got loud and clear was that regardless if she was in pain, not feeling it, whatever the reason you in essence implied that since she just has a hole, she really only has to lube up and lay there. Wrong. Then you had the audacity to say that you would find somebody else is she was unwilling. That's a pretty crappy thing to say to the woman you love. There is no doubt in my mind that this hurt her. She IS going to test you now. Let's face it....you did EXACTLY the same thing to her. I also agree with Catherine, this isn't a one week test.
Masterpiece Theater. Because there is going to be some subtle psychological terrorism before hand. I am going to go:
1. Lift weights
2. Take some ginko and ginseng
3. Pray for divine guidance
4. Prepare myself to project a happy and sexual vibe as anything less is going to be met with some nasty variation OF MY OWN PAST BAD BEHAVIOR.
I am hoping that if I do everything RIGHT that she will be the "nice" me that I am when she does everything right. Then again I am fairly sure her response to me doing that will be "You seem so happy at 2/day, think how much happier you will be at 3/day".
I am going to go stand in front of the bathroom mirror and practice some expressions that convey fear, anxiety and a silent plea for mercy all at once.....
I would swear on a stack o bibles NONE of this stuff seemed that bad when I was doing it to her. It sure feels VERY different being the recipient.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine602
He he he
MEM Got a question - multiple choice which of the following tv shows will tonight session be described as?
a. Rin tin tin
b. Rawhide
c. Roy Rodgers and Trigger
d. Masterpiece theate
e. Cops
f. All of the above
Anybody know a recipe for a road rash poultice for ??
Words of encouragement Ride Em Cowboy. Posted via Mobile Device
Which of the following tunes will most closely resemble Mrs. MEN's state of mind tomorrow morn?
a. I fought the law and the law won
b. Pround Mary
c. Love is like a ball and chain
d. Bad to the bone
e. ain't too proud to beg
f. I put a spell on you Posted via Mobile Device
Which of the following tunes will most closely resemble Mrs. MEN's state of mind tomorrow morn?
a. I fought the law and the law won
b. Pround Mary
c. Love is like a ball and chain
d. Bad to the bone
e. ain't too proud to beg
f. I put a spell on you Posted via Mobile Device
He he he
MEM Got a question - multiple choice which of the following tv shows will tonight session be described as?
a. Rin tin tin
b. Rawhide
c. Roy Rodgers and Trigger
d. Masterpiece theate
e. Cops
f. All of the above
Anybody know a recipe for a road rash poultice for ??
Words of encouragement Ride Em Cowboy. Posted via Mobile Device
Tonight will be Hawaii Five-Oooooooo.
Tomorrow will be Hawaii Five-Ohhhhhhh.
Next night will be Hawaii Five-Ohhhhhhhh, sh!t.
Night after will be Hawaii Five-Ohhhhhhhhh, help me.
Night after that will be Hawaii Five-Ohhhhhhh, I need a doctor.
Night after that will be Hawaii Five-Ohhhhhhhh, call an ambulance.
Night after that will be Hawaii Five-Ohhhhhhhhh, call the undertaker.
Tonight will be Hawaii Five-Oooooooo.
Tomorrow will be Hawaii Five-Ohhhhhhh.
Next night will be Hawaii Five-Ohhhhhhhh, sh!t.
Night after will be Hawaii Five-Ohhhhhhhhh, help me.
Night after that will be Hawaii Five-Ohhhhhhh, I need a doctor.
Night after that will be Hawaii Five-Ohhhhhhhh, call an ambulance.
Night after that will be Hawaii Five-Ohhhhhhhhh, call the undertaker.
DAMN, this thread is amazing... I know I could perform 1 week on 3x a day, but more than that.... damn... it would fall off and tell me it is not what he signed up for. Then take the sack with him as it is where he keeps all his valuables.
Brennen
I think this is life and we are lucky MEM is sharing this with us. He is quick to acknowledge that he wants to rethink things and the chance to grow from the experience. If he were a small person he would have reacted with anger maybe or some other negativity. But he did, not he is processing this experience. How many times in you life do you face yourself and are asked to reflect? If you never have then you did not recognize you, if you recognized you you may have rationalized and continued as you are you may have been angry at the unfairness of life. Or you can recognized accept you and honestly appraise.
I don't think MEM is a bad man who has done anything bad. I think he is in the top 25 percentile of spouse if you rate goodness. In fact I feel this is not the first time his wife has given him a run for his money, sounds she has had a lot of practice. . Posted via Mobile Device
Tonight will be Hawaii Five-Oooooooo.
Tomorrow will be Hawaii Five-Ohhhhhhh.
Next night will be Hawaii Five-Ohhhhhhhh, sh!t.
Night after will be Hawaii Five-Ohhhhhhhhh, help me.
Night after that will be Hawaii Five-Ohhhhhhh, I need a doctor.
Night after that will be Hawaii Five-Ohhhhhhhh, call an ambulance.
Night after that will be Hawaii Five-Ohhhhhhhhh, call the undertaker.
Will you stop it ! now hot tea came out of my nose. Geeze Posted via Mobile Device
Brennen
I think this is life and we are lucky MEM is sharing this with us. He is quick to acknowledge that he wants to rethink things and the chance to grow from the experience. If he were a small person he would have reacted with anger maybe or some other negativity. But he did, not he is processing this experience. How many times in you life do you face yourself and are asked to reflect? If you never have then you did not recognize you, if you recognized you you may have rationalized and continued as you are you may have been angry at the unfairness of life. Or you can recognized accept you and honestly appraise.
I don't think MEM is a bad man who has done anything bad. I think he is in the top 25 percentile of spouse if you rate goodness. In fact I feel this is not the first time his wife has given him a run for his money, sounds she has had a lot of practice. . Posted via Mobile Device
I ADORE Mem! I have listed him often in my posts of wise and sage men on this board. Please don't get me wrong! If I didn't like him, I wouldn't be teasing him about this. What was so shocking about what he posted a few months ago was his approach and I WAS disappointed in him....for the first time. It seemed cruel and out of his character. Now the shoe is on the other foot and yes, it IS a little humorous. His wife sounds amazing and they really sound like an awesome pair. She called him out (as did he to her) and she is putting him to task.
Read my prior posts. I felt absolutely sick about it when she told me she had been in pain. When your partner likes things on the rougher side it is very hard to discern real pain.
Most of her performance anxiety came from a lack of desire, and she was definitely afraid to discuss it with me. And that "fear" is on me because I created it over a long period of time. So she had to reach true fury to express it because it took a lot of anger to overcome that fear. Sadly the way she communicated in that very angry state produced an extremely aggressive response from me.
But that was at the tail end of a year where I knew her desire was low and basically let her initiate. I wasn't getting her to the rapture hardly at all - yes I felt bad about that - and I knew her desire level was low. In hindsight I should have raised the whole topic and let her feel safe being honest with me. Hindsight and all that. But DURING that year I let her initiate because I could tell her desire wasn't there. I did NOT like our frequency of just over once a week but I never complained. On the contrary I was extra nice as I knew she was operating purely out of love - what with the lust having gone absent.
Wow. I so do not think of her as a hole. That is very far from the mark.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brennan
Ok, all kidding aside, performance anxiety is real for both men AND women. You were pretty dismissive when she was feeling it and from your previous post the message I got loud and clear was that regardless if she was in pain, not feeling it, whatever the reason you in essence implied that since she just has a hole, she really only has to lube up and lay there. Wrong. Then you had the audacity to say that you would find somebody else is she was unwilling. That's a pretty crappy thing to say to the woman you love. There is no doubt in my mind that this hurt her. She IS going to test you now. Let's face it....you did EXACTLY the same thing to her. I also agree with Catherine, this isn't a one week test.
Masterpiece Theater. Because there is going to be some subtle psychological terrorism before hand. I am going to go:
vibe as anything less is going to be met with some nasty variation OF MY OWN PAST BAD BEHAVIOR.
. [/OUOTE]
oh no the sleeping lion is waking up, it there any way to worn Mrs MEM??? she is aware I am sure of you devious ways MEM. Like the Japanese after Pearl Habor, she knew if you did not cry uncle in a week she would lose the war. Posted via Mobile Device
Read my prior posts. I felt absolutely sick about it when she told me she had been in pain. When your partner likes things on the rougher side it is very hard to discern real pain.
Most of her performance anxiety came from a lack of desire, and she was definitely afraid to discuss it with me. And that "fear" is on me because I created it over a long period of time. So she had to reach true fury to express it because it took a lot of anger to overcome that fear. Sadly the way she communicated in that very angry state produced an extremely aggressive response from me.
But that was at the tail end of a year where I knew her desire was low and basically let her initiate. I wasn't getting her to the rapture hardly at all - yes I felt bad about that - and I knew her desire level was low. In hindsight I should have raised the whole topic and let her feel safe being honest with me. Hindsight and all that. But DURING that year I let her initiate because I could tell her desire wasn't there. I did NOT like our frequency of just over once a week but I never complained. On the contrary I was extra nice as I knew she was operating purely out of love - what with the lust having gone absent.
Wow. I so do not think of her as a hole. That is very far from the mark.
I was wrong then MEM and I sincerely apologize. Your post was misinterpreted by me. It sounded like it was "sex at all costs" and if you don't or are not willing I will find somebody else, hence my disappointment. Clearly I did not get the jist of what you were trying to convey. You are a very loving husband, I know that and never doubted it. I took your post the wrong way.
You do have to admit that what is happening now is pretty funny, right or are you really anxious and if so, I will completely lay off the humor!
I was wrong then MEM and I sincerely apologize. Your post was misinterpreted by me. It sounded like it was "sex at all costs" and if you don't or are not willing I will find somebody else, hence my disappointment. Clearly I did not get the jist of what you were trying to convey. You are a very loving husband, I know that and never doubted it. I took your post the wrong way.
You do have to admit that what is happening now is pretty funny, right or are you really anxious and if so, I will completely lay off the humor!
It's all good Brennen , what you said needed to be said I think probably expressed what others were to fearful of saying. Taking on MEM is like writing Conrad a 5 page PM, bold stroke. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: Emotional judo - works both ways 
