I for one, despite askance views and chuckles from the gallery, really appreciate and admire your posting this.
Your wife is insidiously brilliant. Seriously. Can you possibly imagine a more effective, and less confrontational way to change your perspective on the sexual dynamic of your relationship?
I am completely reserving judgment on whether or not it is warranted, a good thing, or a bad thing. I simply see it as an utterly brilliant testament to the fact that the two of you are without question, very engaged, invested in, aware of, and in tune with your marriage.
She's like an evil genius, MEM. That should fill you with dread, and desire.
And yet again, different strokes for different folks. I for one, think that competition and game playing can make for passion and excitement - rather than control or uncertainty. The relationship will seek out it's 'emotional equilibrium' based upon the participants.
I suspect that both MEM and his wife each have the others number. They enjoy it. Maybe one more so than the other times, eh MEM?
She IS brilliant. The only thing that would knock her in to the stratosphere is if she dressed up like a dominatrix and "punished" him.
I for one, despite askance views and chuckles from the gallery, really appreciate and admire your posting this.
Your wife is insidiously brilliant. Seriously. Can you possibly imagine a more effective, and less confrontational way to change your perspective on the sexual dynamic of your relationship?
I am completely reserving judgment on whether or not it is warranted, a good thing, or a bad thing. I simply see it as an utterly brilliant testament to the fact that the two of you are without question, very engaged, invested in, aware of, and in tune with your marriage.
She's like an evil genius, MEM. That should fill you with dread, and desire.
And yet again, different strokes for different folks. I for one, think that competition and game playing can make for passion and excitement - rather than control or uncertainty. The relationship will seek out it's 'emotional equilibrium' based upon the participants.
I suspect that both MEM and his wife each have the others number. They enjoy it. Maybe one more so than the other times, eh MEM?
First of all - yes - a big thank you MEM for giving us all a ringside seat to something so personal. Even though none of us really know you, it still takes a lot of guts to share this stuff.
And just to clarify - I'm not trying to say what's right or wrong - just hoping you guys get through this with minimal collateral damage!
Which of the following tunes will most closely resemble Mrs. MEN's state of mind tomorrow morn?
a. I fought the law and the law won
b. Pround Mary
c. Love is like a ball and chain
d. Bad to the bone
e. ain't too proud to beg
f. I put a spell on you Posted via Mobile Device
I'm late to the game here, but I couldn't help contributing a title for MEM's video taped session tonight (should they choose to do so.)
__________________
“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!” - Dr. Suess (In honor of my good friend Trenton)
I wonder if Mrs MEM can find the directions on how to reconstitute a MEM. I suppose she can google it the manual must be online. I am worried, should we send out the virtual troops or just wait and pray. What if she decides to tie him up and have her way with him. I can picture it, although I don't want to but I can't help it, MEM, spread eagle being force fed the little blue pills. Posted via Mobile Device
I for one, despite askance views and chuckles from the gallery, really appreciate and admire your posting this.
Your wife is insidiously brilliant. Seriously. Can you possibly imagine a more effective, and less confrontational way to change your perspective on the sexual dynamic of your relationship?
I am completely reserving judgment on whether or not it is warranted, a good thing, or a bad thing. I simply see it as an utterly brilliant testament to the fact that the two of you are without question, very engaged, invested in, aware of, and in tune with your marriage.
She's like an evil genius, MEM. That should fill you with dread, and desire.
And yet again, different strokes for different folks. I for one, think that competition and game playing can make for passion and excitement - rather than control or uncertainty. The relationship will seek out it's 'emotional equilibrium' based upon the participants.
I suspect that both MEM and his wife each have the others number. They enjoy it. Maybe one more so than the other times, eh MEM?
NG,
Do you really believe that is what "I" advocate? Smoke and mirrors alpha games? Ugh.... I must suck as a communicator.
I kind of thought enforcing your boundaries was just being assertive. Seem to recall you would be at dinner and your W would be busily texting folks and totally ignoring you. How come using a mix of mostly non-verbal (but very clear) communication to get her to stop doing that is "smoke and mirrors"?
Quote:
Originally Posted by nice777guy
So, are you in a marraige, or a contest now? Do you have a real partnership or are you always trying to stay a step ahead?
I've been on this board for over a year now and I still go back and forth on a lot of this stuff.
Is it better to be loved and respected for who you are - or is it better to hold your marriage together with smoke and mirrors while trying to live up to some "Alpha" label?
(steps down from soapbox - perplexed look still firmly planted on face...)
Okey - I am now going to unleash my Asperger beta persona on you partly in the hopes that NG will lower my ALPHA smoke and mirror quotient.
1. You can have that name as I don't want it - nor do I wish to experience what it implies
2. If you wish to "own" it, you need to register a "trademark". You cannot "patent" a name. No matter how clever - a name is not considered an "invention"
Quote:
Originally Posted by okeydokie
i patented that name is high school, he cant have it
NG,
Do you really believe that is what "I" advocate? Smoke and mirrors alpha games? Ugh.... I must suck as a communicator.
I kind of thought enforcing your boundaries was just being assertive. Seem to recall you would be at dinner and your W would be busily texting folks and totally ignoring you. How come using a mix of mostly non-verbal (but very clear) communication to get her to stop doing that is "smoke and mirrors"?
Wow.....
And here I thought Nice777Guy was the poster child for advancing his attractiveness, winning back his wife, and then wondering why he did it.
The short step from boundary defense to competition
NG,
I actually wouldn't mind this being a competition if she wasn't wiping the floor with me. And/or if I had some hope of at least battling to a draw. Three days in and I am fatigued. This will be a long week.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nice777guy
That's a contest within your own self.
Boundaries shouldn't be trip wires to be triggered unknowingly by your spouse.
MEM at some point unknowingly tripped a wire. Or maybe his wife is establishing some new boundaries and letting him figure out where they are on his own.
There may have been some straightforward communication initially, but now it sounds more like a game or a competition.
And not just MEM competing with himself to be a better man - but now its between MEM and his wife.
Reaching,
You have grasped this dynamic perfectly. Thank you. I am near 100 percent certain this started out as "B".
Because her libido isn't really that high BUT - damn - fuukk - can you fuukkiinngg believe that somehow this "game" is exciting her. She really is mildly sadistic. I actually have no problem with all the scratch marks on my arms - but I can't allow a situation where pushing me to the edge on stamina INCREASES her desire level.
I am going to follow your advice below. It is excellent. I will do this out of love and commitment. But I really can't keep going that long at 2/day. I just can't. I am hoping to last long enough that she will feel like I showed genuine commitment and determination.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reachingshore
MEM, why won't you try weathering the storm?
a) if her libido is really that high now - that's one thing.
b) if she's doing that mainly to teach you a lesson, by essentially reversing the situation and "logic" you taught her, I don't see a (good) way out for you by vetoing. Even if it's physically impossible for a man to continuously have a go at it multiple times a day.
If it's option b, she is going to go at it, till she sees results. Well then give her a result. Get Viagra, practice tantric sex or those semen retention techniques. Go for a trip together to a sex-shop. Make sure she knows all that you are doing. At this point it's not going to be about sex anymore. It's going to be "I am doing this for you, and as a result I am doing this for our relationship".
If it's option b, she's going to let it go pretty soon (but not in a week's time ). The whole objective would be to prove to her that what you were doing to her before she turned the tables had nothing to do about your, uh, "selfish need for sex". It was for both of you, for your relationship.
If you veto it prematurely, not only you'd probably lose her respect ("you demanded that from me and it was OK for you to do it, but now when I demand the same thing back from you..."), but also you'd give her a message that you don't care.
I really don't think she doesn't know that it would be physically impossible for you to keep up.
Re: Emotional judo - works both ways 
). The whole objective would be to prove to her that what you were doing to her before she turned the tables had nothing to do about your, uh, "selfish need for sex". It was for both of you, for your relationship.
