My wife has been kind of getting her mid-life-crisis-ego stroked at work for the past year. She started acting kind of inappropprately and had and EA or two (in my opinion, not hers) which we have fought about for the past several months.
Well, her "supervisor", Jeff and her got pretty close and there was some inappropriate flirting/chatting/texting between them. He was trying to get in her pants IMO. Even the marriage counselor said so in her opinion. She was upset at work and her boss, Jason, asked her why. She told him about our fighting and my problem with Jeff. He said he wanted to meet with me and convince me that there isn't a problem, but he told my wife that Jeff had a thing for her, yet he continued to send them on the road together out of town.
I sent an e-mail to Jason, the boss, about Jeff and everything that had gone on and tole him that if it didn't stop that I was coming down there to handle it myself. He separated them and he asked to meet with me. I told him why I was so mad and he did his best to to a cover up and put a spin on it. The whole office is that way, they act like a bunch of teenager in heat down there.
That was last year. Jump forward to now. My wife and Jeff and a few others involved in this drama decide that they hate Jason now and are putting stuff together to get him fired. The thing they think will finish him off are some comments he made about "polishing his toy" and something about Cox (****s). Jeff convinces my wife to make the official complaint because he tells her that she is untouchable. So she files a complaint and the **** storm is starting to build.
She tells me all of this because I over hear a conversation and want to know what is going on. I ask her if she is afraid of retaliation. She asks for what. I tell her that her record isn't exactly clean, which she takes offense to. I remind her that Jason knows EVERYTHING that went on between her and Jeff because not only did I tell him but I sent him an e-mail describing it all in full detail. They were all in the same little office qlique last year. Everyone has dirt on everyone else but she seems to forget this. I ask her if she thinks Jason is really going to just go away with his career in ruin without taking them down too. I can see her starting to think about it. This isn't the first time she has been fired for doing something really stupid. I told her a year ago all of the bull**** and inappropriate behavior is going to come back on her some day. I don't know if she will come out of this in one piece or not. We'll see.
Here's my delimma. I have wanted to file my own complaint for a long time, but my wife has begged me not to because she didn't want everyone involved in the drama to get fired (I left a LOT of details out. I could go on and on and on with the stuff that went on there). She told me long ago that she will quit if I file a complaint. I could, with a few anonymous texts or letters, rain hell down on the whole thing and just sit back and watch it all come falling down. I want to do it so bad. There have already been a few anonymous messages and letters sent to the head office about how bad things are getting in that office. Mine wouldn't be out of place or suspect at all.
The crazy thing is that she, in her zeal to build a case against her bass, told the compliance officer that Jason had asked me if I hire prostitutes when he and I had our meeting. That was a bone headed move on her part. The last thing she should have done was to involve me in this. Did she forget that I have been chomping at the bit to tell everything for the past year? Now what if this compliance officer calls me? I'm dying to settle the score and exact my revenge. If I don't tell him what I really think then I am lying to cover up for my wife and protect the guys that I hate and who played a part in wrecking my marriage. I don't know if I can play their little game. I think I would rather tell it all and let the bodies hit the floor where they stand. Not sure what to do.
Send the compliance officer a note. Let him know that your wife told you that you were mentioned to the compliance officer. Let him know that you are open to discuss what you know about the office with him if he would like. Then let him come to you.
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If the compliance officer contacts you - then tell the truth - where the bodies fall is not your problem. THEY are the ones that exhibited bad and unprofessional behavior, not you - you have no guilt - they have plenty. As a former HR Manager, they have violated several federal laws concerning workplace behavior. Would you want your children working for some of these people?
And as for your wife, appears she is what is referred to as a "drama queen." Has to create drama or be involved in drama - it's what excites her. It's why she has had problems in the past and will continue to have them in the future - this is what she lives for. You will need to decide if you want to deal with it. If not, leave or tell her that she can create all the drama she wants for "herself", but you don't want to hear about it and that if she continues to involve you, then let her know what the consequences of that behavior will be and stick to it.
I can't imagine all of this going on in the work place. Whatever happened to being professional and doing one's job. There is no way any meaningful work is taking place at her job site.
I would be all for sending the compliance officer a note explain the entire situation. In addition, I would definitely do something with the wife--either a divorce or an absolute halt to the drama/embarrassment. That's up to you.
And as for your wife, appears she is what is referred to as a "drama queen." Has to create drama or be involved in drama - it's what excites her. It's why she has had problems in the past and will continue to have them in the future - this is what she lives for. You will need to decide if you want to deal with it. If not, leave or tell her that she can create all the drama she wants for "herself", but you don't want to hear about it and that if she continues to involve you, then let her know what the consequences of that behavior will be and stick to it.
Now what if this compliance officer calls me? I'm dying to settle the score and exact my revenge. If I don't tell him what I really think then I am lying to cover up for my wife and protect the guys that I hate and who played a part in wrecking my marriage. I don't know if I can play their little game. I think I would rather tell it all and let the bodies hit the floor where they stand. Not sure what to do
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So your main question "What if the compliance officer calls me?" right? Should you tell the truth or should you try to cover for your wife and her infidelities...right?
Mike this answer is pretty easy and I suspect you know it, but just in case let me give you permission to TELL THE TRUTH. If you reach out to the compliance officer to complain, that could be viewed as vengeance, but if someone else is trying to stir the bee's nest and the compliance officer calls you, I say tell him exactly 100% of everything you know. Here's why: 1) it is not "telling the truth" that will embarrass and destroy the folks involved...it is THEIR BEHAVIOR and their actions; 2) if you do not tell the truth, that poor company will never know the viper's den that place has become and will not know that they need to take care of it. They'll function under the misconception that "it's okay there" and it is FAR from okay there!
So if he calls you, you tell 100% the truth!!! Let those who behaved inappropriately experience the consequence of their choices to behave inappropriately! It's called maturity and personal responsibility.
Wife's Latest Work Drama 
Couldn't have put it better...
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