He kissed another woman...
I didn't see this one coming... But maybe I should have...
OH told me this morning that we "needed to talk." He never says this so I knew it was something serious. He went on to tell me that he kissed another woman and he had to tell me, he couldn't keep it a secret from me.
It happened two days ago. He has assignments at different sites, and for the last four weeks he has been at the same place. He has been chatting about it after work, has said it is a nice place to work, good atmosphere and friendly staff (hmm...)
He has mentioned a few times a particular female member of staff. He has been getting a ribbing apparently because this woman has a crush on him, and the manager has been teasing him, about has X made him a cuppa this morning, stuff like that, and also from other staff who say she has been asking about him. I gather also she comes out to talk to the guys.
Anyway... He told me it was their last day there on Friday, and they were working in the same room she works. She was chatting to them a lot of the day, and told him to come and say goodbye before he left. So he did, and then...
He said it was "just a kiss". She reached for a hug, and went to kiss him. He said he didn't realise what was happening until she did it, and as soon as he did, he pulled away, saying that this can't continue. He's felt really bad about it, and it hit me for six- even though we've been having our troubles recently, one thing I was sure of was that he wouldn't look elsewhere. I'm still stunned.
He has been ready to talk about it, but my spidey sense is telling me he's not telling me the whole truth. My gut is usually spot on and something is not as he says, but I can't work out what. I am fairly to almost certainly sure he hasn't slept with her or anything inbetween- of course I have no proof but working out his day schedule tells me he wouldn't have had time, and he was back on time that day.
He let on a little later that they had a text exchange on Friday evening. I asked how she got his number, he said he didn't know, she could have got it from any of his work colleagues. THEN upon realising that bit didn't play out right, it turns out he texted her first, she gave him her number. He says he texted after coming home after drinks with his friend, she replied and then that was it.
I demanded to see his phone- he wasn't going to let me at first but I pressed him and he did, though he sat with me the whole time like he was checking what I was doing. There aren't any calls between them and no other texts but he has deleted the text history from before yesterday. I couldn't see anything else on there but my gut says he has deleted something.
They are also friends on facebook. I had noticed he was going on FB more the last couple of days, he is on there but very rarelt if ever uses it. It says she accepted HIS friend request from Thursday, he mentioned she had found him on there so he's lying about that. He said something about they'd been chatting on there but only stuff like saying hello- bear in mind he never mentioned ANY of this and he is usually quite open about stuff.
He has taken the babies (the older ones are with their dad this weekend) and gone to his mums for a bit. He was pressing me, asking how I felt, had he messed everything up, what did I want to know, but I don't know how I feel much really. I don't feel like I know everything but I don't know what he's not telling me, even though he swears he isn't hiding anything else. I just wanted some space.
He claims not to realise what was going on, as far as he was concerned she was just being friendly... I was actually teasing him about it because it was obvious from what he said that she liked him, and I could tell he was flattered and that he fancied her too, though it (stupidly) didn't bother me. He said it was just an ego boost for him, he doesn't really know why he did it, but then tries to downplay it like it was nothing and nothing happened. He is really caring and worried about my feelings (ahem!) until I start pressing him that he is hiding something else, and he starts to get impatient. Either he's frustrated that I don't believe there IS nothing else, or he feels I'm close to finding out something he doesn't want me to know.
I just don't know what to do now. Part of me feels like it's "only" a kiss, not worth worrying much about, but then part of me is really angry that I have been fighting for his affections, that it's a gigantic effort just to get him to sit next to me, yet he'll happily wrap his arms around her and kiss her.
The other thing- I opened her facebook page up. there's loads of photos but it's not clear which one is her as her profile pic is a countryside scene and the pics aren't tagged much. He won't tell me which one is her and can't understand why I want to know but I just do- to compare us I suppose. He says he doesn't fancy her but I still need to know what I'm dealing with. He described her a little and it looks like she is one of the girls in the photo who looks rather like me... I don't know what that means.
Any thoughts welcome because I don't really know what to think...