Ok. Here goes. I am wanting all you guys to be honest and tell if you have ever cheated, how many times (meaning how many partners) and I'd also like to know if lying to your mate/spouse is or ever has been a way of life, and if looking at porn is as well. My intent is not to compile incriminating evidence or to "man bash," I am just thinking the problems I have experienced with my mate are probably VERY common and widespread. If you have NOT done the above mentioned things, I would be tickled to know that as well. Just attempting to gain some perspective.
Additionally, if you felt comfortable and answered "yes" to any of it, I would love to know your reasons/motives no matter how simple/elaborate they may be so that I may gain some insight that will help me in any future relationships I may be involved in. Thanks again
I agree michzz. COMPLETELY! I am just searching for info. for MY particular situation. I do not mean to offend or blame these traits on a gender, but I guess I am guilty of believing that cheating is perhaps more prevalent with men than women. I will check my facts before I dare make such an assumption. Thank you for your reply. I appreciate it
Never cheated and never will. I really don't even get why people cheat. If I'm not feeling connected or getting sex from my wife, I tell her not cheat on her.
Reading a lot of the stories, there are a lot of patterns. The people who cheat are usually not the ones that feel like they are in charge of monitoring and fixing the problems in the relationship. Normally, women do that or so I'm told. I do it in my marriage.
I've only really looked at porn when I was single or in a slow/no sex patch.
Yes, michzz! It appears that all percentages being equal, (or within 5%) that when it DOES appear to be "man heavy," it's because the women lie more, and are better at not getting caught! LOL. Jokes on me!!!!!!!!
I agree michzz. COMPLETELY! I am just searching for info. for MY particular situation. I do not mean to offend or blame these traits on a gender, but I guess I am guilty of believing that cheating is perhaps more prevalent with men than women. I will check my facts before I dare make such an assumption. Thank you for your reply. I appreciate it
There will be no statistical relevance to the answers you get on this board. You'll have to look elsewhere for the answers you seek.
That said, I've never cheated and never will. I tried my hardest to not lie or hide things.
When we were first married she got me a subscription to Playboy. When I read the magazine, it led to conflict, so after about 3 months, I stopped even opening the package. It was probably her controlling behavior, however I agree that porn can set false expectations and/or can lead to self esteem issues for some women (and men). To me, it's just not worth it. I have a pretty good imagination.
Used to look at porn from time to time - sometimes alone and other times with my wife. Seems I do it less and less as I've gotten older. More likely to watch "soft" porn on Cinemax with my wife than hard porn.
Is looking at porn "a way of life?" I wouldn't say so. When I was single and no even seeing anyone, maybe. Since my wife entered the picture (and this same thing applied to my previous major relationship), I was open fairly early on about enjoying it, and she will occasionally watch with me. She not only accepts my perusal of porn, she will sometimes encourage it if she hits a low sex drive phase, or just doesn't quite feel "in the mood" but knows I am. She is fine with my Playboy and Penthouse subscriptions, as they cost less than buying at the newsstand, and checks out each new Playboy issue with me. In other words, we both have a smart, healthy perspective on porn. Posted via Mobile Device
I have never cheated on my wife but I have looked at porn (both with my wife present and also by myself). Did I cheat on some girlfriends when I was younger (in my 20's)? Well, yeah. At that time, I was pretty much controlled by my genitalia. Sad but true. However, once I stopped valuing myself by how many women I could get into my bed, it became easier for me to resist those urges. And to that point, I would never cheat now. Even when my wife and I had "the dark times", cheating was not an option for me. I believe that when things get to the point where I want to cheat, I really should consider leaving. My feeling is this, I would rather explain to my wife why I am leaving than explain to her why I am cheating.
Whenever they say for example 60% of men cheat. What they fail to do is put it in any context.
i mean, for every man that does cheat, a woman has to be involved.
So without the context (ie 60% of men cheat and on average 9 times out of ten, the woman is in a relationship also) its not as meaningful, yuo can do anything with statistics to make it look better/worse either way.
Hard to explain what I mean here, but surely every man that cheats, they can't all be with women who are not in a relationship, therefore making the woman side of the argument less meaningful. And my main point is to include Vise Versa...
*Scratches head, but knows what he meant it to sound like*
Ok. Here goes. I am wanting all you guys to be honest and tell if you have ever cheated, how many times (meaning how many partners) and I'd also like to know if lying to your mate/spouse is or ever has been a way of life, and if looking at porn is as well. My intent is not to compile incriminating evidence or to "man bash," I am just thinking the problems I have experienced with my mate are probably VERY common and widespread. If you have NOT done the above mentioned things, I would be tickled to know that as well. Just attempting to gain some perspective.
Thanks in advance for your candor
Yes I cheated. I had one partner.
Actually, I was always a very honest person. Always thought that people who had affairs were terrible people. Knew a couple of people who had affairs, including my brother-in-law, and always looked down on them as being weak and dishonest people.
But after going through the issues I did in my marriage, I can say that while I feel cheating is NOT the solution to marital problems, I can see why the people I know cheated. There is a common theme through all of us that added to the breakdown of our marriages.
I also look at porn but that was not an issue in our marriage.
Was lying to my wife a way of life? No, but often I have left out details or not told her things that I knew would set her off.
3Likes
Dare ya to answer! 
