Victory Thread II!!! Post recent WINS here!

BlackMedicine357 · 03-30-2011, 11:57 AM

Okay Gang!

Need some hope, ideas, and inspiration. Post your wins here so I can go through the trophy case (and others can too) and take home something to give us VICTORY!!!

SO BRING IT A LOT PEOPLE!

Black

MrK · 03-30-2011, 12:15 PM

There's no such thing as a victory here...

BlackMedicine357 · 03-30-2011, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrK

There's no such thing as a victory here...

Happy to disagree forcefully with you K. If you believe that, why are you here?

This board is loaded with victories, small and large. And those victories come from people who came here to find solutions and regain hope in situations that looked hopeless. Some were never say die people, some were giving it one more try before bailing out. I, myself, came here in frustration with my marriage after 10 of the last 20 years being HELL. I found hope for change here with good advice from friends here and I put that advice to work and I saw CHANGE. Change that was mostly slow but sometimes drastic and fast. Nothing else I tried did that. Not counseling, not rx meds, not seminars, not books, nothing.

I learn every time I come here. That gives options to deal with my "impossible" situation. I will not give up.

I picked my wife for a lifetime of fun and love, not a lifetime of problems and HELL. While we are not where I want us to be, we are not where we were.

So K. find hope and learn here. Don't give up. Resist the urge to post desperation or defeat on TAM.

I think soon you'll have a win to post here and I'll "high five" you then.

Black

castingabout · 03-30-2011, 01:21 PM

I've decided that I'm not going to be helpless. Sucks that I feel like that's a victory, but it sure beats where I've been.

BlackMedicine357 · 03-30-2011, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by castingabout

I've decided that I'm not going to be helpless. Sucks that I feel like that's a victory, but it sure beats where I've been.

Casting,

Decisions for the better are VICTORIES. And deciding not to be helpless is a real resolution. Keep that resolve and you will win over and over again. Only you can allow yourself to "feel helpless." Feelings are ours to own or discard. Own the good ones, and a few of the bad ones. Toss the rest if the aren't helpful and carrying you to where you want to be.

Also, no sucking allowed in my threads. (Unless they pertain to oral

)

Black

Affaircare · 03-30-2011, 03:10 PM

We recently had a situation that I would rather not give out details...but the situation was intended to cause harm to both myself, Dear Hubby and our kids. But despite the intention, the result has been that Dear Hubby and I are even closer and surprised to discover that we love each other more than ever!

So by talking about it and "being there" for each other when we felt sad or like crying, by discussing what was being "said" and what we perceived as real (the exact opposite) we actually came much closer to each other and came much closer to God as well. I know for a FACT that was not the intention, but

too bad! FTW!

MisterNiceGuy · 03-30-2011, 04:16 PM

I feel the same way... I would be clueless without the MC and this forum. It has been invaluable and while I'm not happy with my current situation, I am happy that I have some tools to use to try and steer my life into a better place with or without my wife... I feel that's a victory!

Kobo · 03-30-2011, 04:55 PM

I've completed four weeks of Insanity without tearing my ACL

MrK · 03-31-2011, 09:47 AM

Sorry for that first post. I get it now. This site HAS helped me and here are my victories:

I am not certifiably insane like I was 1.5 years ago. I realized it is natural for a wife to fall out of love with her husband soon after the wedding and not do anything about it. That helped. It also helped to see from other peoples examples that it is VERY RARE for a wife to fall back in love after that happens, so I made a decision early to stop trying. That helped a lot.

She can now come to bed after all of her TV time, all of her ignoring me all day, lay down, turn her back to me EVERY NIGHT without a word, and without it tearing a hole in my heart. That is a victory.

Is that what you mean? My marriage is over, but I've accepted it and made my self a better person for me and my kids? If so, there you have it.

BlackMedicine357 · 04-01-2011, 06:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrK

Sorry for that first post. I get it now. This site HAS helped me and here are my victories:

I am not certifiably insane like I was 1.5 years ago. I realized it is natural for a wife to fall out of love with her husband soon after the wedding and not do anything about it. That helped. It also helped to see from other peoples examples that it is VERY RARE for a wife to fall back in love after that happens, so I made a decision early to stop trying. That helped a lot.

She can now come to bed after all of her TV time, all of her ignoring me all day, lay down, turn her back to me EVERY NIGHT without a word, and without it tearing a hole in my heart. That is a victory.

Is that what you mean? My marriage is over, but I've accepted it and made my self a better person for me and my kids? If so, there you have it.

K,

We all sympathize with your situation and I personally grieve with you for the dream that turned into a nightmare.

However, your reply is quite inappropriate for this particular thread. Perhaps you should post in another thread closer to the spirit of your current state of mind. Or even better, leave TAM altogether. The people who come here are looking for HOPE. Not despair.

Sorry that your life sux these days. The rest of us have gone through and are going through similar sucky times. Coming to TAM helps us get through the day and have the hope of not only salvaging our marriages, but also pursuing the dream that we had when we said "I do."

Now, (unless this is some enormous prank or April Fools joke), I urge you to stop posting in this Victory Thread and I wish you the best.

Black