04-09-2011, 07:20 AM
Join Date: Feb 2011
| | Making the right choice
I know I've posted around all over but more ?'s loom. I am starting to second guess things. My wife and I have had no contact since the 17th of March. Legally right now I can't contact her (not a restraining order). I've been thinking about her every single day, dreams at night, nightmares etc. I wake up almost every night not realizing where I am (not staying at home) I also find myself wondering what my wife's doing is she having an affair? Doing what she's supposed to be doing? Lots of thoughts flow through my head and I have to think "she's doing what she's supposed to do etc." A few people recommended that I go to the court and file divorce *Did* to show her that I don't need to be the door mat also to show her that she really screwed up. Divorce is not what I want nor is it a fix for our problems. I would like to work things out, counseling and so on. I think our problems can be fixed over time. But over the past few day's I've been really second guessing filing that paper work. I know I can withdraw it at anytime. She hasn't answered it yet either. I know I was reading FB and her friend said that dating sucks and my W wrote "better than divorcing" It hurts me so bad inside because I can't talk to her about this. My plan is to give us 1 year and if her and I can't change ourselves, make our marriage work then both agree on divorce. I just look at the signs right now.
1. She hasn't talked to anyone about anything or plans
2. She hasn't told anyone for me to come pack my things and move out.
3. I got a suitcase full of cloths to last about a month or so.
4. She hasn't dropped our no contact and wanted to meet or talk about it.
5. She hasn't made attempts to say "it's over"
6. She could have dropped the no contact, met with me civil and said it's a good idea that we divorce split property custody etc.
To me it sounds like that's not what she want's either but I felt if I didn't do this I would be walked all over even more. What do I do???