Originally Posted by seeking sanity
Here's the thing, you aren't responding so much as being defensive and justifying yourself. I bring it up because it may be part of a larger dynamic that is making communication more difficult between you and your husband.
And I really hate to say this - but this is a typical male response to someone wishing to impart "the whole story" not just their view of what they believe the story is.
As you will note, you stated that I was telling him he shouldn't feel that way - never said that during the conversation and didn't post that here.
He can feel however he wants to feel - but guess what - so can I.
His feelings are not more important than mine and vice versa.
When you come out with a blanket statement and don't follow it up with facts or "why" you feel that way - what am I supposed to do - just take it on blind faith, when I have no idea what you are referring to and just accept it and move on?
I, as a woman, don't have the right to ask for details?
That's basically what you're saying in a nutshell.
And because I wish to have details to "understand" his point of view - that means I'm defensive and justifying myself?
When you "dismiss" our right to question the things you say - then you "dismiss" us - this is how it feels to me. When I say something to my husband and he asks for more details, I don't shut down, feel I'm being punished, etc., I give him answers. Why is it so difficult for men to do the same - it's what they expect - why can't I expect it either?
But thanks for the comment - I do appreciate it - but this last remark wasn't on point (not to me).