You have no idea how often I hear (from friends) how attractive and smoking hot my wife is.
They tell me this with awe in their voices.
See, now when my man hears this from his friends, yes he gets a ego boost at the time. But I get to hear about it later. That I was in some way the one to blame for them stuffing their hands into their pockets when i'm around. That i did something to provoke those comments. well, yes i was cleaning up a pile of leaves in the back yard, oooh sexy! I realize my man may not be of the typical on this tho.
So it doesn't bother you that you know your friends are 'categorizing' your wife in the 'would do' section?
The #1 thing that attracted me was his face. He was and still is a very good looking man. When I see a man - I look at his face first, hands second.
So intially, I though - damn - he's fine.ok base reaction upon physique
Then as we were dating I was attracted to how he listened to me (he's quiet, I'm a talky). Emotional saftey and security
Then I started feeling safe around him - probably because of his size - he's 6'5".physical saftey and security
Then, the first time we had sex - that sealed it! He rocked my world sexually and still does exactly the same thing to this day - probably one of the reasons I miss it so much. I've never, ever had any other man rock my world in bed like he does.
So I guess the phermones were working overtime on us both. He thought I rocked his world at one time too - but that's changed and I don't know how to get it back. Too much water under the bridge and while you can put the past behind you, some can't forget it.
I would give everything I have to be able to turn back the clock.
Firstly sorry about that last paragraph you wrote know the feeling their and I sympathize with you. But you did choose him out of first to further your genetic line and you stayed with him out of the sense of security and saftey he offered you. For you as you said it was nothing finacial (read supporting you directly food shelter and the like) but you were drawn to him out of genetic stock and upon learning about him you realized he offered you the emotional security and saftey to be a proper mate. Which just highlights my point about a woman being drawn to men for different reasons then men are drawn to women.
As already said Matrilineal clans work differently because that sense of security and saftey or relieved by the clan. And tht is why they are more empowering for women sexualy. They still choose their males though for genetic strength to their offspring where as men on an instinctual level are just trying to create the largest brood. Not saying its right or wrong was just saying thats what was happening.
See, now when my man hears this from his friends, yes he gets a ego boost at the time. But I get to hear about it later. That I was in some way the one to blame for them stuffing their hands into their pockets when i'm around. That i did something to provoke those comments. well, yes i was cleaning up a pile of leaves in the back yard, oooh sexy! I realize my man may not be of the typical on this tho.
So it doesn't bother you that you know your friends are 'categorizing' your wife in the 'would do' section?
For me depends on the manner they do it. Are they saying I have beautiful wife and leaving at that. Are they asking in man speak damn dude how did you get so lucky? or are they saying in their own language give me the chance and I will screw your wife into the ground. Granted I don't hang out with the second group.
That's awesome! I get the same, so why the need to undress others then? I don't get it. A hot wife at home and the need to think about others sexually? Eh, somethings I will never understand. I do know how it makes me feel though. Maybe I need to turn the tables.
It makes me feel exactly the same way, and trust me, it gets worse as you get older. It used to not bother me much - now, it bothers me all the time, I just don't say anything. That's probably why the porn usage has become a problem for me - I'm threatened that I can't complete - and I can't - face it, doesn't matter how fit or good looking for my age I am, the fact is I'm 50 and nothing I can do will ever change that.
But hey - my surgery date is coming up fast - maybe he can nip and tuck a few other things while he's there - I don't mind being plastic - as long as I'm an attractive plastic!
For me depends on the manner they do it. Are they saying I have beautiful wife and leaving at that. Are they asking in man speak damn dude how did you get so lucky? or are they saying in their own language give me the chance and I will screw your wife into the ground. Granted I don't hang out with the second group.
Most of his friends are the ones that say 'how did you get so lucky?' this still p's him off. but there are the ones that are pretty lewd, this p's him off even more. I told him he should go find someone he doesn't deem attractive. It would save his mental sanity!
Most of his friends are the ones that say 'how did you get so lucky?' this still p's him off. but there are the ones that are pretty lewd, this p's him off even more. I told him he should go find someone he doesn't deem attractive. It would save his mental sanity!
Sounds like either possesiveness on his part or low self esteem. Either he is really really possesive or he feels that you are to good for him and any moment you are going to walk away. I have never been threatened by any guy that thought my wife was attractive while respecting me, her and my marriage.
And I have never until recently been threaten by the lewd ones. (That happened due to my low self esteem and some other issues) However I wouldn't let them be around to chop at the proverbial tree either. No matter how strong a person is you get a hundred people chopping at a tree eventualy someone is going to score a hit.
See, now when my man hears this from his friends, yes he gets a ego boost at the time. But I get to hear about it later. That I was in some way the one to blame for them stuffing their hands into their pockets when i'm around. That i did something to provoke those comments. well, yes i was cleaning up a pile of leaves in the back yard, oooh sexy! I realize my man may not be of the typical on this tho.
So it doesn't bother you that you know your friends are 'categorizing' your wife in the 'would do' section?
I start getting annoyed when I hear her referred to as a MILF.
For me depends on the manner they do it. Are they saying I have beautiful wife and leaving at that. Are they asking in man speak damn dude how did you get so lucky? or are they saying in their own language give me the chance and I will screw your wife into the ground. Granted I don't hang out with the second group.
A woman may be a brilliant brain surgeon or an accomplished concert pianist. We are visual creatures, however, and from across the parking lot, we see boobs, butt, and legs. We didn't ask to be this way, it isn't the product of some sinister Western European plan to dominate women. Men have been visual creatures since life began. Naturally, the female of the species are sex objects in the minds of the males of the species just as a nut is a food object for a squirrel. However God (or Nature, if you prefer) arranged things, it has worked quite well to keep the world populated and to keep male and female humans living together for millions of years. Why would someone be conceited enough in the 1960s to imagine they somehow had a better plan?
Fixating on a strange woman's body is unproductive at best and more than a little creepy, but all straight guys do notice women and for a nanosecond, they mentally stick all women into one of two piles. It's called natural selection. Categorizing is nothing but the "selection" part. Doesn't mean they are perverted or that they wish to dominate women. Doesn't mean they are going to cheat on their wives or rape some strange woman. It just means they are functioning properly according to the laws of nature. If we wake up without our "dog" gene, women will have to immediately evolve in such a way as to produce lots of beer or horsepower or our human race will be doomed.
I wasn't suggesting that this was male dominance or anything like that. I know it isn't. Checking out women and rape are at opposite ends of the spectrum and have nothing to do with admiring the female form, nothing.
For me, it just stinks to know that no matter how great I look, how hard I try, how many hours I workout, how much time and effort I spend in to myself, it will never be enough. He will always want more, hence imaging and visually undressing others. It doesn't make him a pervert or anything like that, I get that. What I think he and perhaps some here fail to recognize is that our egos take a hit because of this behavior. Call us fragile if you will but when us women get older, this behavior becomes more front and center in our minds and the realization that one will never be enough hurts. Again, maybe I need to turn the tables on him. Heck, my Mardi Gras episode made him take notice and he did not like it.
Sounds like either possesiveness on his part or low self esteem. Either he is really really possesive or he feels that you are to good for him and any moment you are going to walk away. I have never been threatened by any guy that thought my wife was attractive while respecting me, her and my marriage.
And I have never until recently been threaten by the lewd ones. (That happened due to my low self esteem and some other issues) However I wouldn't let them be around to chop at the proverbial tree either. No matter how strong a person is you get a hundred people chopping at a tree eventualy someone is going to score a hit.
VERY possessive! He feels threatened by any man, even a nasty little troll of a man he would be suspicious of, not only them but of me too. Like i'm gonna run off with someone like that. Whole other issue! But, because of the thoughts he has about women himself, he knows what his friends are thinking looking at me. So, for some men this 'primal instinct' of imagining sex with attractive women they come in contact with, has a bad side effect. You know what these men are thinking of your woman, your daughter, sister...ect. For my man i think this must drive him insane!
I didn't suggest that guys do this because they are not satisfied with what they have. It isn't a choice. It's nature. I notice all women because I'm a guy but because I'm a guy who just happens to be in love with my wife, every woman I see doesn't remotely compare to the one I have. Intellectually, I know she's 43 and carrying extra weight and frequently dresses like a bum, and it's illogical to think she's prettier than a 20 year old supermodel, but love isn't a head thing. It's a heart thing and my brain has been contaminated by love. In my eyes, my wife (in any state or condition) is the sexiest woman on earth. Your husband probably feels the same way about you. We can be deeply committed without going blind or turning gay.
I wasn't suggesting that this was male dominance or anything like that. I know it isn't. Checking out women and rape are at opposite ends of the spectrum and have nothing to do with admiring the female form, nothing.
For me, it just stinks to know that no matter how great I look, how hard I try, how many hours I workout, how much time and effort I spend in to myself, it will never be enough. He will always want more, hence imaging and visually undressing others. It doesn't make him a pervert or anything like that, I get that. What I think he and perhaps some here fail to recognize is that our egos take a hit because of this behavior. Call us fragile if you will but when us women get older, this behavior becomes more front and center in our minds and the realization that one will never be enough hurts. Again, maybe I need to turn the tables on him. Heck, my Mardi Gras episode made him take notice and he did not like it.
When these men are imagining sex with a random female they come across, they may feel it does not lessen the love they feel for their wife, yet it lessens the love the wife feels coming from their husband.
When these men are imagining sex with a random female they come across, they may feel it does not lessen the love they feel for their wife, yet it lessens the love the wife feels coming from their husband.
And it lessens the respect their wife feels for them too.
Especially when its obvious and done right in front of her.
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Re: Is this the way men really think...? 
