Look, but don't make ME feel like crap when you do. You picked me, be satisfied with me, or dump me and got get someone else. Don't make ME feel inferior because I'm not 20 anymore or I don't have that long flowing blond hair or those perky breasts, etc. Then I won't make you feel inferior with that gray hair, pot-belly, and man-boobs.
MWIL,
You crack me up! BTW, my man-boobs are HOT!
Brennan,
I know we don't agree much "politically" but I didn't know you were having such marital issues now too.. I am truly sorry..
If I see a good looking guy, I don't turn my head, look them up and down or follow them with my eyes when I'm in the company of my husband - that's the difference.
Yes, the difference is that he is a man and you are a woman. He's more visual, and has less stigma attached to looking.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarriedWifeInLove
Look, but don't make ME feel like crap when you do. You picked me, be satisfied with me, or dump me and got get someone else. Don't make ME feel inferior because I'm not 20 anymore or I don't have that long flowing blond hair or those perky breasts, etc. Then I won't make you feel inferior with that gray hair, pot-belly, and man-boobs.
How you feel is up to you. If your husband says, "Look at that hot piece of meat" directly to you, maybe he means, "Look what I could chase, but I stick with you. I do so out of choice, not because society tells me to or because I'm afraid I couldn't get that if I tried, but because I love you." Think that next time, and you will be a lot closer to reality. Meanwhile, let your hair grow out.
You are being very immature about this. Tell me, do you like being attractive when you go out, or do you only wear sweats? I notice your profile pic is of red f-me pumps, so I doubt the latter.
The truth is that ANY man who is attracted to women "sorts them into piles" as described by another writer here. Doable, not doable. Maybe there is some level of degree. It happens instantaneously, and it is not bad or wrong, and has nothing to do with "being enough."
As far as being enough, do you really want to be enough, or do you just want what you give to be enough? There's a big distinction between giving your husband enough, and expecting whatever you give him to be enough.
In the unlikely case that you really want to be enough, just make that known to your husband, that you are available for him whenever the whim strikes him. Try that for 30 days; I guarantee the rest of your marital conflicts will fade into the background. Come back here for your money back if not.
You are pretty abrasive. No need to be.
I am very fortunate in that a wonderful person who contributes to this website often has written and published a book. One that I am currently reading and things are becoming more clear.
How you feel is up to you. If your husband says, "Look at that hot piece of meat" directly to you, maybe he means, "Look what I could chase, but I stick with you. I do so out of choice, not because society tells me to or because I'm afraid I couldn't get that if I tried, but because I love you." Think that next time, and you will be a lot closer to reality. Meanwhile, let your hair grow out.
Na...what we'd be thinking is that if I wasn't here with you, you just may try chasing that woman. I mean if the man is bold enough to look at other women, even tho he knows this hurts his own woman's feelings, we are thinking...just what does he do while gawking when he is alone. Obviously we think he would take it even further since I'm not around. If he is capable of these remarks while I'm here, what does he do when i'm not here??
I think in reading this thread that it doesn't bother most women if it is just this 'checklist, fleeting thought' type thing. But when it turns into ogling and disrespecting your woman is when the line is drawn. Another thing is this...if the woman truly feels love in the relationship, this does not seem to be an issue. If the woman does not feel love coming from her partner (whether he does love her or not) these actions minimize the love we feel in the relationship all together.
Men and women will truly never 'get' how one another think. But know this, every woman wants to know or feel she is the apple of her man's eye!
Yes, the difference is that he is a man and you are a woman. He's more visual, and has less stigma attached to looking.
How you feel is up to you. If your husband says, "Look at that hot piece of meat" directly to you, maybe he means, "Look what I could chase, but I stick with you. I do so out of choice, not because society tells me to or because I'm afraid I couldn't get that if I tried, but because I love you." Think that next time, and you will be a lot closer to reality. Meanwhile, let your hair grow out.
Look what I could chase, but I stick with you.
You mean - I'm stuck with you.
Because that's how it sounds to US (women).
And I couldn't get that if I tried, but because I love you - another "nice" way of saying I'm stuck with you.
You do have a way with words. Sure my husband isn't your twin?
I don't care who my husband looks at or what he thinks about while looking. I just don't want to know about it. This is one of those things that I prefer he be discreet about.
Of course you console yourself that to a 50+ man, a 20 year old chick is retarded. And he looks like an idiot pursuing her.
"Where were you on 911?"
"In 5th grade."
Durrrr.
LOL, Runs!
This thread is cracking me up. Now when I am outside and people watching, I see men looking at women and I'm wondering if he is thinking "doable/not doable."
I do have one question though.... someone posted there are these categories: "Doable, Not Doable, and Maybe If I Was Drunk."
And I couldn't get that if I tried, but because I love you - another "nice" way of saying I'm stuck with you.
You do have a way with words. Sure my husband isn't your twin?
Ahhh, this old thing. I have this problem with my wife as well. I will say something and she hears something else. I say what I mean. If I say "Look what I could chase, but I stick with you." Then I mean, "Look what I could chase, but I stick with you."
How is it your husbands problem if you hear something different than what he says?
When my wife asks me what is wrong and I tell her, "Erm, it has been three months since we had sex and I'm getting antsy."
She hears, "You are a bad wife and everything that is wrong in this house is your fault."
I'm direct, honest, and don't pull punches. If she asks a question, she gets the answer. It is NOT my problem if she interprets it differently than said.
The opposite is also true. If she says something, I take her for exactly what she says. I will ask, "Do you need a hand with that?" She will say no, so I go about my business. Only to be told later that, "Couldn't you see me struggling? Any decent person would have given me a hand." Hey, I asked, and you said no, NOT MY PROBLEM.
Ahhh, this old thing. I have this problem with my wife as well. I will say something and she hears something else. I say what I mean. If I say "Look what I could chase, but I stick with you." Then I mean, "Look what I could chase, but I stick with you."
How is it your husbands problem if you hear something different than what he says?
When my wife asks me what is wrong and I tell her, "Erm, it has been three months since we had sex and I'm getting antsy."
She hears, "You are a bad wife and everything that is wrong in this house is your fault."
I'm direct, honest, and don't pull punches. If she asks a question, she gets the answer. It is NOT my problem if she interprets it differently than said.
The opposite is also true. If she says something, I take her for exactly what she says. I will ask, "Do you need a hand with that?" She will say no, so I go about my business. Only to be told later that, "Couldn't you see me struggling? Any decent person would have given me a hand." Hey, I asked, and you said no, NOT MY PROBLEM.
"Sticking" with someone isn't a compliment to most women. The past tense of the word being stuck. I don't know many men who find that a compliment either.
"Sticking" with someone isn't a compliment to most women. The past tense of the word being stuck. I don't know many men who find that a compliment either.
"Stuck" has many usages, not only the one you have decided to choose.
Does "He stuck with her even though she had an affair." have the same means as "How would you like to be stuck with her?"
"Stuck" has many usages, not only the one you have decided to choose.
Does "He stuck with her even though she had an affair." have the same means as "How would you like to be stuck with her?"
The way you phrased it is "look at what I could chase but I stick with you". I don't know too many people who would take that as a compliment, man or woman. It makes it sound (to me) like the person should feel grateful that the spouse isn't tossing them aside for "that".
The way you phrased it is "look at what I could chase but I stick with you". I don't know too many people who would take that as a compliment, man or woman. It makes it sound (to me) like the person should feel grateful that the spouse isn't tossing them aside for "that".
Aren't you grateful for that? It is you that is reading the whole stuck thing into it, I promise. I prefer open an honest communication to all this nuancing of possible word meanings. When I stick by my friends, I don't consider myself to be stuck with them.
Geez woman, your over-sensitivity is grating for my tastes. And your projecting your husband onto me. Does that mean you're attracted to me? I get that a lot.
@Jellybeans
As for what is meant by "ok, if I was drunk", category, that depends on how drunk I've never been the type to change categories when drunk, though. Notice I only listed two. Are you trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me?
@Jellybeans
As for what is meant by "ok, if I was drunk", category, that depends on how drunk :rofl: I've never been the type to change categories when drunk, though. Notice I only listed two.
LOL. Well SOMEONE, I can't remember who, but they said "Maybe if drunk." I just thought that was a scary-funny category. Like a Lindsay Lohan category or something.
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Re: Is this the way men really think...? 
