Ha Ha I'll admit it , I like it ! If I dress to the hilt and notice some guy looking at me I surely know what he hell I am doing, and it IS flattering. I dont understand women at all.
I'll admit it too! Seriously, it's an ego boost to know you're getting attention. Why else would we dress the way we do? I mean, unless you're always in public wearing sweatpants and baggy shirts.
I don't know, I just don't take it personally if I catch my husband checking out another woman occasionally. Well, maybe that's because I'm usually checking her out too, though...
Get this... Funny thing happened this morning. Took my kid to the orthodontist (single male) and I saw him do the quick scan of me. I thought to myself "You're sooo doing the checklist right now!" Never knew about the checklist until this thread. I just thought there were automatic thoughts of sex or no looking at all. I had the biggest urge to call him out on it. He he.
Funny thing about this thread! I do that now too. I see a guy checking me out and I wonder where I fell on the checklist! Gee, I sure hope I made the "doable" category
Get this... Funny thing happened this morning. Took my kid to the orthodontist (single male) and I saw him do the quick scan of me. I thought to myself "You're sooo doing the checklist right now!" Never knew about the checklist until this thread. I just thought there were automatic thoughts of sex or no looking at all. I had the biggest urge to call him out on it. He he.
That would be friggin' hysterical.
"So? Am I a yes, no, maybe, or only if drunk?"
And women do have the checklist, it just moves much, much, slower than the male checklist.
My opinion is that a woman generally requires some kind of interaction to move to 'yes, no, maybe'.
I would have to look back through the thread to see who made the comment, but one of the ladies summed it up: "Can I picture myself naked with this guy?"
I believe that happens on the first date, and you either increase or decrease the likelihood from there.
Difference being - most women don't look at one and put them in one of the "three categories." In OTW, we don't let what is between our legs rule our head.
I think what some of us women (mainly speaking for me), want in a man is a man who is truly committed - not only through marriage but through his heart and mind.
If you married ME, I should be enough for you - you're enough for me, why does it have to be different just because you're a man - it doesn't - it's a choice, just like everything else.
And when you make it obvious - by oogling and staring and following other women with your eyes, when with us - you don't have to say a word - your actions say it all - I'm not good enough - I'll never be skinny enough, young enough, pretty enough, or my body will never be perky enough.
Maybe men need to put the shoe on the other foot and see how it "feels" to feel like you'll never be good enough. It's an empty, shallow feeling - I know it well.
Hopefully, this isn't a mood killer, but believe it or not, there are a few men out there who do know what if feels like. I'll admit that I don't feel the societal pressure that many women experience, though.
I really do not want to be critical of my soon to be ex, but I tried to make her feel secure. I was very vocal in telling her that she was the only woman I saw in a crowded room. I'm not sure if its part of the bipolar complex, but she is very visual concerning men. In the early days, she would sometimes admit that she probably couldn't say no to a come-on from an attractive man. In fact, boundaries were sometimes tenuous, but she was never flirty. Just didn't know when to tell a guy to stop. She even joked that the only reason she dated me was because of my physique. And yes, I get compared often. So far, I usually lose out when the guy is over six foot, because I'm slightly under. I know where I stand in the arms, chest and butt compared to the men she knows. She learned to avoid these comments, but she was adamant that she could no longer find me attractive if my hair thinned. Fortunately, it never did.
My older brother resents the fact that we didn't visit him often. I'm not at all insecure, but I'm not stupid either. My wife finds him very attractive, and has let her thoughts slip a little too much for my comfort.
I think that maybe part of it was a family thing. Her sister used to get a big kick out of flashing her robe open (nude underneath) when coming out of the shower, or offering me a sip when she was nursing, even though I told my wife every time. My wife just avoided the topic.
Years ago I had a friend that would openly compare her bf with other men. Ex- "Why can't you have an @ss like that"... ect. I felt bad for him just as I do when men do this to their women. So wrong and disrespectful.
I can honestly say that I have never compared my man's physique to other men's. Not even just in my mind. I don't think, 'I wish my man had a butt, hair, arms, ect. like his.' That just doesn't come into play. But i have compared the way he treats me as compared to how some other men treat their women. As in, he doesn't treat me THAT bad, or I wish he treated me more like that.
I think most women would agree, that we know men do the checking out thing, but we prefer NOT to see it! When he is with me, I should be the only one he is checking out, believe me, he is lucky to have me and he should show that respect!
Deejo, you may think I'm lying but I honestly don't have a checklist. I guess I've never thought about it. I do notice when a man is attractive but I also notice attractive women. I guess because of my history with training, I notice whether people work out. I think about proportional physiques. I watch behavior too. I spot cheaters. I decide wether couples are happy. I decide whether people are arrogant. I think stuff like "I'll bet that guy has a porn addiction" or "She probably spends every red cent that comes into her household on shoes". "She seems like a good mom" or "He's a dedicated husband". I love analyzing human behavior. I wish I could say I thought about sex more but I really don't. I don't think I have a huge drive compared to some. I have to work myself up for such things.
Ditto to this. This is what I do as well. I can honestly say that I have never looked at a man and thought about having sex with him other than a man I was involved with our wanted to be involved with.
I understand what the men are saying in this thread. It's a biological thing and we women should just accept it. It just doesn't seem like men are so lenient when it comes to the biology of women and the things that we "just can't help".
Deejo, you may think I'm lying but I honestly don't have a checklist. I guess I've never thought about it. I do notice when a man is attractive but I also notice attractive women.
I do not have a checklist either. I too notice attractive men, but my first thoughts aren't whether he is 'yes, no, maybe if drunk.' Or when you see an attractive couple, and wonder what their lives are like, how he treats her, ect. Mommy22, you hit the nail on the head on how I 'judge' people too.
I asked a male friend about this, his reply "Women are more pure and virtuous than us dirty minded men." Hmmmm...my mind can go to some pretty in the gutter places, I guess those thoughts just don't fall on random men i see on the street. I certainly would not call my mind pure
just takin a guess. Maybe when it is that time a month and we become more emotional. I know my man looks at me like i'm an alien or something when i start to bawl over something stupid (like a commercial ) or when the biotch comes through during that time of month!
I'm not proud of the fact. I try to stop myself when I think critical thoughts.
Ahhh...critical thoughts. Well, i know what you are saying. But it is a bit entertaining when you see people out and about doing their thing. Like a woman walking by a whole row of windows checking HERSELF out, looking at her booty, her profile (see men we check ourselves out enough for all of ya!) I just think it is fun to wonder what they are thinking. "look at my big butt, or I have one fine form!" I just like putting words to what people are doing. Watching a couple argue, and I will make up a whole scenario to what they are arguing about. I know i need to get a life!
Hopefully, this isn't a mood killer, but believe it or not, there are a few men out there who do know what if feels like. I'll admit that I don't feel the societal pressure that many women experience, though.
I really do not want to be critical of my soon to be ex, but I tried to make her feel secure. I was very vocal in telling her that she was the only woman I saw in a crowded room. I'm not sure if its part of the bipolar complex, but she is very visual concerning men. In the early days, she would sometimes admit that she probably couldn't say no to a come-on from an attractive man. In fact, boundaries were sometimes tenuous, but she was never flirty. Just didn't know when to tell a guy to stop. She even joked that the only reason she dated me was because of my physique. And yes, I get compared often. So far, I usually lose out when the guy is over six foot, because I'm slightly under. I know where I stand in the arms, chest and butt compared to the men she knows. She learned to avoid these comments, but she was adamant that she could no longer find me attractive if my hair thinned. Fortunately, it never did.
My older brother resents the fact that we didn't visit him often. I'm not at all insecure, but I'm not stupid either. My wife finds him very attractive, and has let her thoughts slip a little too much for my comfort.
I think that maybe part of it was a family thing. Her sister used to get a big kick out of flashing her robe open (nude underneath) when coming out of the shower, or offering me a sip when she was nursing, even though I told my wife every time. My wife just avoided the topic.
And I think that's part of the problem - a lot of men consider it a "societal" thing - that's just another excuse for "it's not my fault."
It's all about choices.
I could choose to screw around on my husband, especially with the ED, withholding sex, cruising porn, etc. I would have every right and no one at this point would blame me.
But "I" "choose" to stay true to my marriage vows and work on the issues instead of taking the easy way out.
A lot of men choose the easy way and then blame it on society, marketing, TV, anything but pointing the finger directly where it belongs - on THEM.
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Re: Is this the way men really think...? 
