Haha yes and no for me. I admire all beautiful women and that range is wide and varied some its just from darwin attraction (strong female that would produce good offspring with me whose pheremones attract me) No controlling that. Barring those women though no sex isn't the first thing that pops in my head.
Don't get me wrong I think about sex constantly even more so since my recent forray into celibacy........that hole in the wall is looking more and more temping :P.... But is either with a vague abstract of a woman or my wife. Before I got married I only slept with women that gave me the uncontrollable urge where I thought about sex with them.
Just so you know, us women pick up on/see that and their might be a very specific reason that the ones who say "heck yes" are also the ones saying "my wife doesn't want sex with me". Notice LuckyMan isn't in that category? Food for thought.
A lot of men say they wouldn't be bothered if their wives did, but most are not worried that their wives are really thinking about actually having sex with other men. They often think she doesn't want sex, so why would she be thinking about having it with others? They would be very very hurt if they really thought their wife was sizing up almost every man she met and thinking about his **** inside her.
Secondly I think men are somewhat conditioned to think this way, with the pornification of just about everything. Women are judged all the time by how f^&kable they are , instead of being seen as people first. I don't think all men do do this, just that society tells them it's fine and expected, so a lot of men believe and expect to be able to do this and then to justify it by "It's a man thing".
I think it's a real shame. And guys because society is pushing women to do the same thing in order to justify males increasingly overt bevaviour towards women, don't be surprised if it bites you on the @ss. Unfortunately I don't think any of us will be better off, just reducing people to objects sadly.
I find the general man hating in this threat disconcerting - by both men and women.
Men, by saying "I'm a pig, but I good pig" validates the point of view that it is somehow wrong to have sexual thought. Sexual thoughts are a result of testosterone. It's how men are. Putting a value judgement on it, invalidates the male gender.
Women, the snarky comments that men are somehow deficient/inferior because of their thoughts applies some female standard of superiority. What the hell gives you the right to moralize.
I find the general man hating in this threat disconcerting - by both men and women.
Men, by saying "I'm a pig, but I good pig" validates the point of view that it is somehow wrong to have sexual thought. Sexual thoughts are a result of testosterone. It's how men are. Putting a value judgement on it, invalidates the male gender.
Women, the snarky comments that men are somehow deficient/inferior because of their thoughts applies some female standard of superiority. What the hell gives you the right to moralize.
Man hating? sexual thoughts are not just the result of testosterone. they are the result of social conditioning, just think about other societies where breasts are not sexualised and fetishised, if all men instinctively thought about women the same way or about sex because of testosterone it would stand to reason we would see the same treatment of women everywhere, and that all men would find breasts to be sexually arousing. much of our behaviour we are conditioned into. Our society teaches men to think like this, so it's no wonder many do, however they can retrain their brain and be respectful of other people and women, even just in their heads.
I actually think we do men a disservice when we say men can't help certain behaviours, we sell them short and make them non humans too, without complex emotions and thought processes. Some will say men aren't like that, that thye are simple and many will joke about it, but I believe other wise, and know many good men who show me that this is true, even on these boards a lot of men show a lot of depth. Men are very capable of treating all people like humans first and foremost, but making excuses for poor behaviour doesn't help and it's not man hating, it is in fact the opposite.
A lot of men say they wouldn't be bothered if their wives did, but most are not worried that their wives are really thinking about actually having sex with other men. They often think she doesn't want sex, so why would she be thinking about having it with others? They would be very very hurt if they really thought their wife was sizing up almost every man she met and thinking about his **** inside her.
Secondly I think men are somewhat conditioned to think this way, with the pornification of just about everything. Women are judged all the time by how f^&kable they are , instead of being seen as people first. I don't think all men do do this, just that society tells them it's fine and expected, so a lot of men believe and expect to be able to do this and then to justify it by "It's a man thing".
I think it's a real shame. And guys because society is pushing women to do the same thing in order to justify males increasingly overt bevaviour towards women, don't be surprised if it bites you on the @ss. Unfortunately I don't think any of us will be better off, just reducing people to objects sadly.
Word up
Sexual urges are controllable just like the other common human urges like the urge to murder, maim and steal. Humans don't have instincts. Homo sapiens are unique in that for us, instincts have been replaced by free will.
Staring and thinking about sex with every woman who crosses a mans path is a choice by individual men. I agree with Syrum - in our increasingly pornified society, being a gentlemen and behaving respectfully towards women is out of fashion.
Women have a tendency to follow the male lead - young women are becomming more judgemental of male looks and sexual performance and more vocal about it. In one generation, it will probably be common for women to objectify men too. I wonder how the men who beat their chest about the man thing will feel when they are subjected to the critical gaze of women.
I think male sexual functioning is more frigile than women. That may seem counterintuitive but, how many men could function sexually under a demanding, entitled, porn fantasy driven expectation of sexual performance that woman have to function under?
May cause a spike in ED, the male equivalent of female loss of sexual desire due to performence anxiety. Posted via Mobile Device
I behave respectfully to all women but I'm a guy. Mentally, I categorize women in little piles (those I'd do and those I wouldn't do). Naturally, I'm married and I'm not going to actually act on any such thoughts and I don't sit around fantasizing about other women, but for a brief half-second, every woman gets categorized. I think all men do this and those who claim they don't are either gay or fibbing.
I wonder how the men who beat their chest about the man thing will feel when they are subjected to the critical gaze of women.
That’s been happening for the past 4 decades at least with me lol. I’ve been invited to pool parties, had women watch for me to come out of the shower, chased by women who don’t know me so I guess just for my “looks”, women who wanted sex with me just to see “what I’m like”. Maybe I’m the equivalent of the blonde bimbo lol. It happens with my sons as well, a lot of women “turn and look” at them, they’re good looking guys.
I just find it “nice and amusing”. I ain’t go no complaints.
That’s been happening for the past 4 decades at least with me lol. I’ve been invited to pool parties, had women watch for me to come out of the shower, chased by women who don’t know me so I guess just for my “looks”, women who wanted sex with me just to see “what I’m like”. Maybe I’m the equivalent of the blonde bimbo lol. It happens with my sons as well, a lot of women “turn and look” at them, they’re good looking guys.
I just find it “nice and amusing”. I ain’t go no complaints.
Bob
Yes but if you felt you were being criticised instead of admired you might, which may well happen, and if you thought your wife was doing it and comparing you to others you may well not think that way.
Besides your merits as a person probably don't yet rest in if women would do you or not. Imagine how you would feel if your were catagorized by others into f&^kable and non f^&kable. If your wife was comparing you to porn stars in the bedroom, or was thinking about what every single man she met would be like in bed, what his **** was like, and how it would feel inside her.
Yes but if you felt you were being criticised instead of admired you might, which may well happen, and if you thought your wife was doing it and comparing you to others you may well not think that way.
Besides your merits as a person probably don't yet rest in if women would do you or not. Imagine how you would feel if your were catagorized by others into f&^kable and non f^&kable. If your wife was comparing you to porn stars in the bedroom, or was thinking about what every single man she met would be like in bed, what his **** was like, and how it would feel inside her.
Of course some people criticise, of course they do. Why on earth should I let that bother me? I’m very comfortable with who I am, including my inner most thoughts.
As for my stbx she’s always been one very attractive woman and I’m certain she’s seen off many advances, I know she’s given into a few. It is life.
I never expected to go through life never being attracted to another woman. Sometimes that attraction is at the deepest levels. But of course it doesn’t mean we have to go there. But to say there’ll never be an attraction to another woman is to deny “nature” and all its glory.
Of course some people criticise, of course they do. Why on earth should I let that bother me? I’m very comfortable with who I am, including my inner most thoughts.
As for my stbx she’s always been one very attractive woman and I’m certain she’s seen off many advances, I know she’s given into a few. It is life.
I never expected to go through life never being attracted to another woman. Sometimes that attraction is at the deepest levels. But of course it doesn’t mean we have to go there. But to say there’ll never be an attraction to another woman is to deny “nature” and all its glory.
Bob
But this thread isn't about just attraction, it's about allowing your self to imagine having sex with some one else. That's very different. And I think men are so blase about it because they know (or think they know) it doesn't effect them and certainly doesn't seep into almost every aspect of their life the way it does to women.
You may have noticed some women looking at you, but would it not make you uncomfortable to know you were being judged by them and catagorised and she was thinking, would I sleep with him or not, with every woman you met? This then would effect the way this woman views and interacts with you. If someone catagorises you as a friend, you are safe from their sexual, gaze but have in a sense been deemed unworthy and unnatractive from a mere glance, and if they deem you worthy of sex, they are only thinking about you as a sexual object, not the complex person you are.
This is a big mistake many people- some women and clearly a lot of men on here make IMO.
Interesting thread. I have heard this before but just assumed it was some man myth. So do men think abou the act and everything? Is it detailed (the thoughts)?
Wow.
I think what goes through a man’s head is all down to the individual man and their current situation.
For example I’m separated coming on for 18 months and I’m allowing my thoughts to go to having another woman in my life. I’m just trying to “get used to the idea”. Being with the same woman for over 4 decades gives me a problem in this regard. For me, there must be a sexual attraction, that’s just part of who I am. So I check myself out to see if I’m sexually attracted. That doesn’t include the whole sex act, never has and probably never will, it’s just about sexual attraction, desire even. Then if she looks fit in that she looks after herself, has a good demeanour and she’s confident it just all adds up to my attraction. Then if I feel the attraction coming back all well and good. Having taken it to the next stage yet though lol.
But this thread isn't about just attraction, it's about allowing your self to imagine having sex with some one else. That's very different. And I think men are so blase about it because they know (or think they know) it doesn't effect them and certainly doesn't seep into almost every aspect of their life the way it does to women.
You may have noticed some women looking at you, but would it not make you uncomfortable to know you were being judged by them and catagorised and she was thinking, would I sleep with him or not, with every woman you met? This then would effect the way this woman views and interacts with you. If someone catagorises you as a friend, you are safe from their sexual, gaze but have in a sense been deemed unworthy and unnatractive from a mere glance, and if they deem you worthy of sex, they are only thinking about you as a sexual object, not the complex person you are.
This is a big mistake many people- some women and clearly a lot of men on here make IMO.
syrum, i have a gift that allows me to absolutely not give a rats *** what anyone else is thinking about me. maybe it comes with age. but i would consider it flattering if i knew a random woman deemed me worthy of a hump. i think its more of a female thing to be wanted for your mind, not just your body. however, the way ALOT of women dress in public might say otherwise and is quite confusing at times
5Likes
Re: Is this the way men really think...? 
? sexual thoughts are not just the result of testosterone. they are the result of social conditioning, just think about other societies where breasts are not sexualised and fetishised, if all men instinctively thought about women the same way or about sex because of testosterone it would stand to reason we would see the same treatment of women everywhere, and that all men would find breasts to be sexually arousing. much of our behaviour we are conditioned into. Our society teaches men to think like this, so it's no wonder many do, however they can retrain their brain and be respectful of other people and women, even just in their heads.
And it's no surprise I agree with you.
