Ok so just to be clear, when men stare at women, they aren't actually imagining the act of boffing them, it's more of, "She is attractive" thought?
Almost. It is more of an instant:
"I'd do her."
"I wouldn't do her."
"I'd do her."
"I'd do her."
"HOLY $%!+ LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THOSE BOOBS!"
"Wouldn't do her."
If you want to know pretty much how it goes find Season 3 Episode 9 of Family Guy and watch where the baby Stewie does his little "I'd do her. Wouldn't do her. Everybody's done her. Lose the pigtails and we'll talk."
>>These actions came about because of how those men were taught they could treat women and because of their thought processes, helped shaped by society.<<
Syrum,
I believe people are responsible for their own actions.
Save me from those who would "re-make society" to influence the behavior of boorish people.
Stumbealong - I didnt realize your husband was gawking, I did not read all of the posts, this thread REALLY took off. If that is going on and you feel "overlooked" by him, then I can see why you would wonder if the majority of guys are like this- and want no part of it that type. You don't want to find yourself in this situation again.
If you find yourself single again , I would think the best course of action is - taking your time & getting to know these other men for who they are -outside of passing fantasies.
I am sure it is flattering for you, as us women are getting older, to be noticed & looked upon, I see nothing wrong with your dressing to LOOK GOOD, even a little HOT, just don't go too overboard or I think this attracts many undesiables. Dress in what represents YOU, be comfortable & confident in your own skin & cothes and let the men reel you in.
Just be careful and go very SLOW to getting to know them, not jumping into anything. It's the EMOTIONAL side you need to learn of them, who they are, how selfish they are, what their goals are, thier intentions, what they want from a woman, what they want to give, all of these things are more important than if they are having momentary Rushs of sexual excitement running through their brains. And what of their relationship History, this should never be overlooked, and what type of friends they hang out with. It speaks of someones character. Does he keep his word, is he showing you the attention you crave?
You want a man with good character.
Hey SA I wish I could find that 'peak' you have described yourself having. Undress a stranger with my eyes Maybe it will help me feel better! Maybe during the evolution of our species, in the future there will be a happy medium for everyone. Women will get more lustful, random thoughts about men, and men will taper theirs down to where this isn't a controversy.
I tell ya, one warm day last week, i had on shorts and a kinda tight fitting shirt on. His buds were over, and i'm working in the yard. He got very fidgety over his friends looking at me. I always wondered why it bothered him so much when he sees men looking at me. WELL NOW I KNOW! He knows what those men are thinking about when they are looking at me, because he has those same thoughts about women HE sees!
I think what it comes down to is the level of love you feel your partner gives you. If i felt he truly loved me, gave me the attention i needed, i don't think this would be much of an issue. If he respected me more, didn't stare at every chick's @ss, I wouldn't be upset about those random/fleeting thoughts he may be having about those women. I guess i feel he's not giving me those thoughts, he has no right to think of other women that way!
I do want to find a man that has a good all around character, that makes me feel loved. But, like I said the dating scene scares the hell outta me!
But, it doesn't do a thing for unhappy people looking to pin blame on others.
I'm not looking to blame anyone. Just was privy to a couple of conversations this week, wanted to know if it was true! I'm most likely going to be a single gal in the future, just wanted to get some incite on the male perspective. See what I may be in for!
I have been a woman all my life and I have never seen woman persue and offer herself to men to be used for sex to the degree that men on this forum claim. Where are these irresistible men? I have seen a few men in my life so far that are very attractive sexually.
They have unusually good looks and a male body that is a work of testosterone art. But how many men fit that form, maybe less than 1% and they are usually about 25 yrs old. Yet it seems as if 50% of men posting on this forum have women chasing them down and offering them free sex just because they look so good.
I must be really dense, I work in a large gossipy place with hundreds of men and woman but it has not come to my attention. Good looks run in my family -.my father, brother, cousins. I have to ask my brother. I will have to be more observant.
Sounds like a porn fantasy to me. Are there any women who have actually seen this happen.
Wow, wish more men posted pictures, what a treat that would be. Posted via Mobile Device
"I'd do her."
"I wouldn't do her."
"I'd do her."
"I'd do her."
"HOLY $%!+ LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THOSE BOOBS!"
"Wouldn't do her."
If you want to know pretty much how it goes find Season 3 Episode 9 of Family Guy and watch where the baby Stewie does his little "I'd do her. Wouldn't do her. Everybody's done her. Lose the pigtails and we'll talk."
It is more like that.
Oh wow. So ti's like saying you will or won't have sex with her? Amazing. And gross. A little bit. That that is the only thought happening.
We are animals yes we are also animals with higher though process. Once again I ask why are you with the man you chose? Did I say anything that was untrue? How many women are going to stand up and say I don't love my husband because he makes me feel safe and secure. You are a woman your base instict is satisfied. How about cheating women any of you want to talk about how you no longer saw your husband as a dominating male you saw him as weak as something that couldn't keep you safe and secure? You can look just at these the going through divorce and seperation pages or the coping with infidelity pages most cases of the woman leaving were because she no longer felt safe and secure with her husband where as most men are leaving because their wife was with another male or they are weak and acting on their base instict.
We have the ability to fight instict and I never argued that but to deny that the reaction is based off instict is ludicrous. I never said you had to follow that instict not once will you find me saying it commanded you. I said it was an instict its there. Every male is hardwired at least a little for it.Obviously this very thread has pointed out that individualy we process it differently. Most of us never act upon said instict though. I am perfectly content with my wife (ok not entirley true but that is a different topic) I would never act upon my instict of seeding as many women as possible. I have the choice of ignoring the instict, but just because I ignore it does not mean it doesn't exsist.
To word it another way you seem like a highly biblical person. As a Christian you are suppose to deny the temptations of Satan, you have the choice to deny his temptations, but that does not mean he isn't going to tempt you.
@Jelly yes i think it sums up to that there is something about women for each man its different that makes them look that second or two longer. Depending on the man their thought process might be slightly different some actualy visualize bedding the woman some just think she's attractive and move along and some just leer and drool having no higher thought process to be stimulated.
I'm not looking to blame anyone. Just was privy to a couple of conversations this week, wanted to know if it was true! I'm most likely going to be a single gal in the future, just wanted to get some incite on the male perspective. See what I may be in for!
Stumble,
I didn't think you were.
Here's the deal. I actually believe in the Almighty.
I think men and women were created in complementary fashion. Yet, the more we try to intellectualize on the primal mysteries associated with sexual attraction, the farther away we get from the truth.
Here's the short skinny.
If men weren't seriously interested in having sex with women, there would be no children. God made it so we simply feel we cannot live without it.
And, when you have a superb partner - as I do - you can find a bit of heaven nearly every single day.
Of course, once you find something you desire that strongly, psychology dictates you try to maximize it - and keep it from others. My comments on this subject are very direct.
In the thread on open marriage. "Me watching another man ignite my wife's passion? I don't know what planet I'd have to be on to tune into that channel".
That goes for her doing someone else with her mouth or anything similar. This is the most personal, primal, emotional dynamite you can play around with.
Yet - HOW do we get to the point where we attract the "one" we want. And, how in the world do we keep that ONE?
2 TOTALLY different things. But, not so different.
We STILL must be the man she fell in love with. But, (MEM's written a novella on this) we sometimes have to butt heads with her to keep her from steamrolling us into something/someone else.
But - here's the key - the instincts that Niceguy explained are STILL THERE. Of course, we should operate with self-discipline over those instincts.
In short, healthy heterosexual guys will look. I operate with the 5 second rule.
But, we can no less stop noticing attractive women than those attractive women can prevent themselves from fitness testing us.
Both appear to be a biological imperative.
The idea of re-making "society" to send a different message?
Good luck.
Once the wars all settle down and the caliphate gets established, the burkas go on and we settle everything - right?
That bit of sick humor aside, humanity has been wrestling with this from the beginning of time. I have little faith that contemporary feminism has the long-lost solution.
First, please, let's not go down the "women wanted a protector/provider path" again, since there is no evidence to suggest that.
Let's remember that a lot of early societies were matriLINEAL, with families organized around the women's household, brothers/uncles mentoring young boys/men, serial monogamy, etc., etc. As more than one African noted to Muslim scholars, you *know* the child coming out of your sister shares your blood; you can't be sure about the child born to your wife/sexual partner.
There is also evidence to suggest women prefer relatives for living partners (people with whom they share more genetic background), while prefering those who are genetically diverse as sexual partners. IE, matrilineal--live with your brothers (when they aren't shacking up with their latest hunny), mate with your. . .current mate. Change mates every year or two; genetic diversity in YOUR offspring will improve the chances of your genetic material getting passed on.
Having said that, I think it is quite normal for men to have a momentary "yes/no" thought on seeing/meeting a woman. I think, as a woman, I'm more likely to have the "yes/no" thought ONLY when I've had my "possible mate alert" triggered. It is not simply a visual thing--sound and smell may have much to do with it. I can look at a guy and think "he's gorgeous" without it being also a sexual thought. I just think that female sexual attraction involves more senses.
Yet the idea that men are naturally "pigs" is abhorrent to me, because so many are more than simply their sex drive. I think that is why it is frustrating when people try to claim, "it's the way we are built" to excuse bad or inappropriate behavior. Neither men nor women are simply ONE characteristic, biologically or socially.
Having a sexual reaction to a woman is no big deal--it's what a guy does with that. Same for women. Our brains are constantly making distinctions and categorizing base on sensory input. To think that the information processing stops at "yes/no" is ignoring the complexity of the human brain.
Of course, the Darwin Awards suggest that some people have faulty information processing (usually an inadequate executive motor processing system). We aren't talking about those folks!
I'd say yes, most of the time. It's a guy thing, it's why we like porn and strippers more than women do. We think about sex a lot when we're younger but it fades a bit with age.
Don't read too much into it, it's not like we're planning on dating or flirting with them. Just humping crosses our dirty minds
When it comes to sex, I approach it in a much more masculine way than society is comfortable with. I love porn and I love to admire gorgeous men. I take all that energy and share it with my husband. I laugh about my celebrity crushes with Mr.G and if he is getting tired of it, he tells me to stop and we go enjoy each other.
Men only think of sex with a woman if they find her attractive. Posted via Mobile Device
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Re: Is this the way men really think...? 
Maybe it will help me feel better! Maybe during the evolution of our species, in the future there will be a happy medium for everyone. Women will get more lustful, random thoughts about men, and men will taper theirs down to where this isn't a controversy. 
