Re: Wife no longer wants to do household chores
I do 95% of all chores in my house. All dishes, laundry, cleaning bathrooms, picking up clutter, bathing the kids at night. She cooks dinner, and chauffeurs them around all day from school and therapies (my kids are both special needs). I go to work and school full time on top of all that. She says she cannot do any of these chores because her back and shoulder hurts due to kyphosis the neck, and she has frequent migraines. So I paid for a gym for her to lose weight, got her hooked up with a chiropractor, and signed her up for a monthly massage therapist. She is going to the gym now, and seems determined to lose weight. I decided not to attack her (as I had in the past, which lead to screaming matches), take her word for it.
She says she appreciates what I do, tells me how much she loves me, and has warmed up in the intimacy department. I'm keeping a close eye on her physical progress, expecting that when her strength and endurance returns, she'd pick up more of the chores.
Even so, I still feel resentment, and even after years of being together, it lingers in the back of my mind, "is she taking advantage...?" But when the wife cites physical restrictions, one can either accept and attempt to aid (while expecting proactive improvement over time), or deny. Denial never leads to anything pleasant, that's for sure. I'd rather not lose my kids over it, or miss my life over feeling angry every day.
I look at it this way. If I were a single Dad, what difference would this make? Would it be easier? No. I'd have to do more, AND worry about daycare. If she were not taking steps to improve her health, then I think the anger would spill over into something ugly, but as long as there's progress, I think I might be able to deal for a while longer...I do love her...