Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Southern Louisiana
Re: Why Deejo, MEM, and Wolf are right
All of the things discussed in this forum, e.g. the thermostat, fitness testing, manning up, etc, are simply useful metaphors for trying to understand the complexities of married life. They are not, IMO, definitive models for male-female interaction. They are, however, good tools to be applied to improve oneself, one's marriage, or to try to get a marriage back on track.
I don't really think I see that as manipulation. If I told my wife that some particular thing she did irritated me, and she stopped, would that be manipulation? She's changing her natural, personal behavior to illicit a particular response from me. That's not manipulation, not by my definition anyway.
If my wife told me that she had made changes to herself and how she interacts with me in order to take our marriage in a certain direction, would I feel manipulated? Of course not. I would honestly be very pleased. Pleased that my wife was working on improving herself, pleased that she understands that marriage is something that must be worked at and doesn't magically happen, and pleased that she's taking the time to give it so much thought and personal effort. I really *hate* people who b!tch about sh!t not improving yet never make any personal changes to get the reality they want. I would honestly see it as a huge sign of maturity.