I still consider the analogy of learning a musical instrument is proper in the context of whether "manning up" or "cooling the thermostat" is manipulation or not.
We all know music is affecting our own mood, and emotional, and playing an instrument well communicates many things effectively.
So learning scales, chords, key signatures, progressions, inversions, arpeggios, reading music, or any other "tools" of music craft, these things are not manipulation, nor are they good or evil in any such way.
They are merely tools.
So as a beginner is practicing scales, or learning something new, we all know it is often painful and not pleasant.
But after time, as these habits become learned, and the patterns and reflexes become easily done without thinking, then is it not possible for the master musician to express himself fluidly, whether in a sad piece of music, a dramatic piece, a jazz piece, or in an frantic piece, etc etc.
And the result, with all the hard work and practice, making this look easy, as if he was born playing his instrument.
So we do not accuse the master musician of being manipulative with our emotions, or of hiding the fact that perhaps he was not born as a young child out of the womb as a master of his instrument. How absurd!
Yet, the good man perhaps in an unhappy marriage with little sex, taking the steps to master his own masculinity, to master his handling of conflict with the opposite sex, to master fitness tests, to master flirting, to master adjusting his "thermostat" or to master any thing else in the world speaking of "manning up" which is merely learning to be effective with the "tools" of masculine sexual structure, he is not in any way less than the master musician.
For there is no need to deceive ourselves, marriage is born from sexual attraction, and marriage is expected to be a sexual relationship.
Therefore, to understand and become effective in the art of masculine sexual attraction, this is most helpful for the man in maintaining the long lasting, exciting, happy marriage.
For the good man in marriage, this is not manipulation or something "defective" on his part to learn and implement these masculine tools.
My strong opinion, the fact it is his RESPONSIBILITY for his happiness AND the happiness of his woman!