Re: What makes a 35+ woman attractive to you?
Good afternoon, Ladies.
First of all, there is beauty in every woman. It reminds me of Don Juan Demarco's (movie) comment, made by actor Johnny Depp, and one of my favorite quotes from that movie. He is speaking about the beauty he finds in all woman:
"By seeing beyond what is visible to the eye. Now there are those, of course, who do not share my perceptions, it's true. When I say that all my woman are dazzling beauties, they object. The nose of this one is too large; the-the hips of another, they are too wide; perhaps the breasts of a third, they are too small. But I see these women for how they truly are... glorious, radiant, spectacular, and perfect, because, I am not limited by my eyesight."
Now, this is not to say that some women aren't especially gifted with physical attractiveness, but the charm of that wears off very fast if she doesn't have a warm, attractive personality. By that I mean:
Fun to be with (playful, sense of humor)
Doesn't put others down (including other women)
Has vitality, spunk, verve, energy (whatever you may call it)
Is comfortable with her body and has confidence
Is able to enjoy sensuality and knows what she likes and wants and communicates it (we can't read minds)
Really enjoys others' company (friends, relatives, dates) - makes others feel appreciated
Really enjoys life and lives each day to the full
You know the kind of person I'm talking about - the kind who makes you feel like you're the only person in the room when they're talking to you, that makes you laugh, but can be serious too, and just makes you feel enriched to have been in their company, whether intimately or just in a casual conversation.
With that said, any woman can be sexy and beautiful, because it's already within them. It's a choice, an attitude, it's spirit, it's an action. An attractive woman is one who embraces her feminity as a strength and celebrates it by living life to the full and being the best she can be. She is discrete but not closed off, friendly but not loose, sensual but not unfaithful. She is comfortable in her own skin and, like Adele, realizes she can be awesomely beautiful without being 105 pounds.
Women only get better with age. I'm a 41 year-old man, and I don't think younger women are more desirable than "older" (over 40) women. My wife is 39 and will be 40 this September, but I've been with her since she was 16 and I can honestly say she is more sexy and beautiful to me now than ever. I tell her so, too. (This is not a gratuitous comment - she doesn't log onto there so I have no brownie points to gain by that comment).
One of the saddest things to me is how "******* Avenue" (ie, marketing) exploits the insecurities of men and women. With women, it's the fear of aging (or the appearance of it), and with men it's their penis size. In reality, it's what you do with what you got that counts.
The one problem I believe men have in dating older women is that these women have now lived long enough to have had one or more bad experiences with men, and can (if not careful) generalize a bad attitude toward all men ("all men are dogs" etc.). Older women might be jaded by the bad experiences they've had. On the other hand, maybe they're more mature and appreciate the things that matter. Maybe they have learned what they like and how they like to be pleased, and they have fully accepted and embraced themselves.
A real man searches the beauty that a woman possesses, and appreciates it. Another quote:
"Women react to me the way that they do, Don Octavio, because they sense that I search out the beauty that dwells within until it overwhelms everything else. And then they cannot avoid their desire, to release that beauty and envelope me in it."
"Every true lover knows that the moment of greatest satisfaction comes when ecstasy is long over and he beholds before him the flower which has blossomed beneath his touch."
You will notice that in my list of what makes a woman 35+ (or any woman) attractive does not include physical attributes. I'm not denying their existance or effect, but we men have probably all been around a physically gifted women who, after awhile, makes us feel like not wanting to be around them or who is not enjoyable to be around. Some physically attractive women seem to think they can just coast along on their looks alone, and so they don't have to put forth effort to develop their personality or be polite. On the other hand, we've been around women whom the world might not pick as the most physically attractive, but there was something about them that makes a man feel alive, energized, and warm in her presence. It's that playfulness, a smile, good conversation, a connection. It's a feeling of appreciation, of a fun person who is genuinely interested in someone other than herself.
Ladies, remember that age is an attitude. You can be old at 30 and young at 50. Do you understand what I'm saying? It's your attitude and your zest (that's one word I was looking for earlier) for life that makes the difference.
Come on, guys, let's be honest. What makes cheerleaders so attractive (okay, laugh, laugh, besides the physical)? Truly, that's not really it. I see ladies every day who look like they could be models. It's really more than just surface appearance. It's their energy that they exude. They look like they're having fun, they smile, and they have all that energy.
Ladies should be encouraged to know that while they should take care of themselves the best they can, they can be very sexy and attractive to men if they make the conscious choice and attitude to be so. Put aside your insecurities, your hangups, and put away the microscope you had focused on all your faults and imperfections.
There are men who want "real women," not air-brushed fantasies. Just delight in your womanhood and be the type of person you would like to be around yourself. Trust me, a man truly worthy of your time and affection will see and appreciate this from within you, and be drawn to your femininity.
To the beauty in all of you Ladies,
Last edited by dbj1971; 02-16-2012 at 05:00 PM.