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Old 06-17-2011, 05:33 PM   #331 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men: Will you please translate this for me?

Update:

My H received the letter from my attorney. I know that it surprised him. He does not want a divorce. He wants to work on our marriage. I did not commit to anything. I want to discuss this new developement with my Phsycologist on Tuesday
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Old 06-17-2011, 05:35 PM   #332 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men: Will you please translate this for me?

He needs to earn his way back through ACTIONS if that's truly his position.

My bet is he's still feeding you BS lines so you will agree to everything in the divorce on HIS terms and not follow through with what you've done.

Remember, you only had to resort to this because it was HIS choice and that fool strung you along for two years, cheated on you, stole from you, lied to you.

Think with your head, Very, not your heart in this case.

Good for you for takin your power back!
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Old 06-17-2011, 05:42 PM   #333 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men: Will you please translate this for me?

He wants to work on the marriage? How? After the horrible things he has said? How can those words ever be erased from your mind? He is a manipulating kniving jerk who knows if you divorce now he will pay dearly. So he is softening you up.

Divorce him. He can work on the relationship as a single and much poorer man. Don't give your power away.
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Old 06-17-2011, 06:51 PM   #334 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men: Will you please translate this for me?

Exactly. Divorce him FIRST. Then, if he really wants you, he willl spend the next couple years proving he does.
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Old 06-22-2011, 04:30 PM   #335 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men: Will you please translate this for me?

Update:

My husband received the letter from my attorney last Wednesday.

She had included a sentence that said "considering this is a long-term marriage, I have instructed my client to wait a few weeks before filing in hopes that you can resolve your differences."

He called my attorney and said that he wants to work on things and he still loves me. (She had instructed him to contact her.)

He then called me crying and said that he wanted to work on things. He said that he would do anything that I asked.

I wrote down things that I wanted and needed.

I told him that I still want to live apart.

I told him that he needs to go to an IC weekly.

He needs to go with me to a MC weekly.

I said that I will not make any promises to him.

Finally, I told him that my attorney's phone number is on speed dial and there will NOT be another "two-week-notice."

I know that some of you will be angry and disappointed in me but I did what my heart, gut and brain guided me to do.

VH
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Old 06-22-2011, 04:32 PM   #336 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men: Will you please translate this for me?

What did he say to this???
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Old 06-22-2011, 04:49 PM   #337 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men: Will you please translate this for me?

Will you at least confirm that he is not having an affair by some means? Because his parting speeches sure sounded like he is. One way to do that is to require him to stay at your house full time. Then you can VAR or put a gps on his car.
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Old 06-22-2011, 04:51 PM   #338 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men: Will you please translate this for me?

He agreed to everything.

We start MC this Tuesday and we will go for two hours instead of one hour.

I have made three 2-hour appointments.

We are going to my IC. She knows everything because I have been seeing her for 3 months.

I am cautious. I am skeptical about motives? Costly divorce etc...
I will reevaluate my feelings on a weekly basis.

He will NEVER hurt me again.

I promise.

He wants me to move back in with him (we have lived separately since October 5th) but I said no.

And if and when I do, it will be gradual.

One slip-up and he is toast.
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Old 06-22-2011, 05:10 PM   #339 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men: Will you please translate this for me?

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Originally Posted by ClipClop View Post
Will you at least confirm that he is not having an affair by some means? Because his parting speeches sure sounded like he is. One way to do that is to require him to stay at your house full time. Then you can VAR or put a gps on his car.
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CC ~

I will address this head on during our MC sessions.

If he is, I will know by his speech, his reaction and his body language.

BTW: Where did WR get the VAR?

VH
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Old 06-22-2011, 05:13 PM   #340 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men: Will you please translate this for me?

You can get them at radio shack.

I would ask him for a lie detector test as well. If he hadn't put you through so much I would be more trusting. But I think this is purely money related.
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Old 06-22-2011, 05:15 PM   #341 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men: Will you please translate this for me?

CC......Tell me why you think it's money related....VH
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Old 06-22-2011, 05:26 PM   #342 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men: Will you please translate this for me?

Because he was fine until he realized you were serious. That is when he realized you wouldn't be a pushovwr in a divorce.
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Old 06-22-2011, 05:32 PM   #343 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men: Will you please translate this for me?

Um probably because he saw what you asked for in the divorce and freaked.
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Old 06-22-2011, 05:47 PM   #344 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men: Will you please translate this for me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ClipClop View Post
Because he was fine until he realized you were serious. That is when he realized you wouldn't be a pushovwr in a divorce.
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Exactly! He was fine with divorcing you when he thought he could get away with mediation and he controlled the shots. Now that he knows you have lawyered up and are serious, he is clamoring to stay married. No way is that sincere. I just don't believe it.

And I agree with Clip also in that his parting shots where typical affair speak. You can look this guy in the eye all you want, he won't tell you the truth. Besides, he has already cheated on you for quite a while and got away with that. Do you think he is suddenly turning in to Mr. DoGood?
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Old 06-22-2011, 05:55 PM   #345 (permalink)
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Default Re: Men: Will you please translate this for me?

I don't believe it, either. Why don't you continue with your lawyer's paperwork, VH? Have him attend MC WHILE you are proceeding. If he proves us wrong, you can always call it off. If you call it off now, he has won and you will NEVER get the real recovery.

And DO demand a polygraph. Accept nothing less. Do NOT move forward until he has taken it.
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