Mom6547

I have 2 words for you, DanF. Words that made me so happy. Amazon Prime.

magnoliagal

michzz

I have this rule. If you want me to buy you anything, then write down EXACTLY what you want and if they have it, I'll get it. I will not substitute.

And, if you're going to get me something. I will write down EXACTLY what I want. If you find it, great. DO NOT SUBSTITUTE.

But this all really only applies to things that matter. Key is to make sure someone knows it matters.

So if they get something else? Once or twice to reprogram the thinking. Beyond that? It's deliberate messing with you.

Then you know you're in a game being played out. Deal with that accordingly.

Conrad

MEM's thoughts are likely the only strategy you can employ that has a chance of her seeing things differently.

MGirl

Yup. Sometimes I wonder how I survived without it

__________________
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde

Therealbrighteyes

Eh, I'm not sure about this. Some women (me) are pretty programmed to save money after having financial hardship during our early parts of marriage. Furniture coasters and the upside down tomato planter would be something I would probably try to find the cheapest but I buy generic everything when possible. Some things you don't skimp on though. Facial soap and toothpaste being two of them.
Bob brought up an interesting point though. Is she buying brand stuff for herself and then not buying the brand you want to save money as some form of punishment for your affair? That seems plausible.

Jellybeans

Do this. And tell her to stop buying the cheapest stuff.

Runs like Dog

And if that doesn't work, I can suggest a more brutal approach. Return the stuff she gets and shop for the correct items yourself.

It's like people who pretend to NEVER get your name right? You know they don't really forget, don't you?

TotoWeRNotInKansasAnymore

This is a pretty good idea.

COGypsy

I think this is the biggest question, actually. I know that myself personally, if I know that my husband has a particular preference, I get that. Shampoo for example, I always get the brand name that he likes. But unless I'm aware of some strong preference, then I tend to steer toward the frugal end unless I have some reason not to....whether I'm shopping for him or for me. So in our house, that specificity makes ALL the difference in the world.

Runs like Dog

Oh I see, anal retentive. Yeah that sucks.

turnera

THIS is what you discuss with her. Ask her why.

turnera

I disagree. It is a hidden agenda of lack of compassion. Needs to be addressed.

AFEH

Surely not a lack of compassion “a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them”???

Reckon it is a hidden agenda though and sounds more like passive aggression. Symptoms/signs are: (from http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pas...havior/AN01563).

Resentment and opposition to the demands of others
Complaining about feeling underappreciated or cheated
Procrastination
Stubbornness
Inefficiency
Memory lapses
Sullenness
Irritability
Cynical or hostile attitude

Resentment and opposition to the demands of others and Inefficiency:
This entails taking on “jobs” but deliberately doing them inefficiently/badly, for example shopping for specific items. And all the while they smile at you as though nothing’s wrong! I hope it isn’t that for Dan, it’s truly dark and horrible stuff.

If it is PA it sure does need to be addressed.

Bob

Halien

Very much agree. In areas where I am very specific, I just take care of my own shopping. The delivery guy is so familiar that he hangs out when I am home. Last week, he even helped me squeegee the garage floor in exchange for showing him how to finish his.

Can't buy Angler denim pants locally. I want better shoes than you can generally find locally, so VIP account at Zappos gets you free one day delivery and returns (just return something and be nice - they give the VIP account). You want the milwalukee 18v right angled drill? Half the price as the hardware storeusing my prime acct. And the greatest advantage? It drives my congressmen apesh$t that they can't get their hooks in the sales tax.