Re: Any men who have found someone better?
Mike, to answer your original question, yes, I have found a marriage that is leaps and bounds better than the one I was in. My ex-wife was having an affair with another woman. Your wife is having an affair also, and has an "affair buddy" to talk it over with, unless that is the person with whom she is having an affair.
Anyway, should you decide to end it, you will find that after many years off the market, many things have changed in the modern dating world. If you go to date women around your own age, you will find most of them are not as hung up about sex as they used to be. You will also find that there are many many women who will respond to a happy, stable, well-off man in very positive ways. The world is your oyster, so you shouldn't put up with any less from your current or any future spouse.
I started dating before I was ready to start having sex, and boy did that drive them nuts. After a few weeks of that I finally gave in, and had the best sex of my life. I had offers from several women. It was like being a hot teen girl.
It so happened that I met an awesome, smart woman during this time who understands what she wants and how to get it. She mentioned that she used to date the bad boys, and I being a typical beta schlub had accidentally come off as one of those on our first meeting because it was at a second party, where I was already a little tipsy, and I was riding my motorcycle.
So, I did some research about bad boys and found game. It was a revelation that it's ok to be a bad boy, because that's what women really want, and being a "nice guy" was really sabotaging my efforts. I'm not really all that nice anyway; I just had to release the beast and let go of failed strategies.
Previously, I had thought that I just wasn't being accommodating enough, and that was why it didn't all work out. I thought I had to hide all that carnal desire and that independent streak to get a woman. I thought it was just the price we had to pay to get sex, as costly as it was to my soul. But every step I took to being a real man was actually encouraged by my new woman, and we are now happily married.
She encourages the manly aspects, but she also is smart and aware of relationships enough to know when it's time for her to set boundaries. I know how to set my boundaries too, and to ask for what I want. So the main thing is we talk about how we really feel without the fear that either will punish the other for it.
In my prior marriage this was not the case. It was always about fear and she was always right. She apologized exactly once in 21 years, after it was all over. She was very narcissistic, and always wondered why everyone couldn't live in her world, it would make the world so much better a place.
Coming out the other side, after years, has been a very pleasant experience. I'm sure the stress in the meantime of divorce, child support, not seeing my kids as much, many months fixing and selling two different houses (mine and my new wife's), getting remarried, buying a new house, all that has taken years off my life no doubt, but it will be a better life, also no doubt.