OK Give it to me Straight!!
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - Online Counseling - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

The Men's Clubhouse Talk about life's dilemmas.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 06-20-2011, 03:46 PM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 10
Question OK Give it to me Straight!!

My marriage is great. I couldn't ask for a better husband. Yeah here comes the but!! Our sex life sucks. Yes here I am the wife complaining about the husband. I love sex enjoy having it my husband is older then me and is physically not capable of it. We have sex only once a week if that. I have tried not to think about sex anymore because it is depressing to me not having it that is. Is is wrong to go outside the marriage to have sex. I just want a good friend with benefits. Is this wrong. My husband can't give me what I need and want. He wants to but can't. He feels really bad, but I am tired of feeling guilty about thinking of going outside the marriage. I love my husband very much and he loves me it would kill him if he ever found out I went outside the marriage. HELP!!!
Wishful Thinking1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 06-20-2011, 03:53 PM   #2 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 19,935
Default Re: OK Give it to me Straight!!

How old is he?

Has he seen a doctor?



Quote:
Originally Posted by Wishful Thinking1 View Post
My marriage is great. I couldn't ask for a better husband. Yeah here comes the but!! Our sex life sucks. Yes here I am the wife complaining about the husband. I love sex enjoy having it my husband is older then me and is physically not capable of it. We have sex only once a week if that. I have tried not to think about sex anymore because it is depressing to me not having it that is. Is is wrong to go outside the marriage to have sex. I just want a good friend with benefits. Is this wrong. My husband can't give me what I need and want. He wants to but can't. He feels really bad, but I am tired of feeling guilty about thinking of going outside the marriage. I love my husband very much and he loves me it would kill him if he ever found out I went outside the marriage. HELP!!!
Conrad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-20-2011, 03:56 PM   #3 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 10
Default Re: OK Give it to me Straight!!

He is 62 and yes he has been to the doctor. He has the blue pills. But only does it once a week. He never really enjoyed sex like I do. But now it is the pits. Sex has to be planned in advance.
Wishful Thinking1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-20-2011, 04:05 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 939
Default Re: OK Give it to me Straight!!

Try cialis instead. Maybe every day low dose. Does he find viagra very expensive.

What does your h say about a fwb for you?

Look, cheating is cheating, whatever your "reason".
Posted via Mobile Device
ClipClop is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-20-2011, 04:13 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Enchantment's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 2,354
Default Re: OK Give it to me Straight!!

I think you really are wishful thinking if you believe you can go outside of your marriage for benefits without any entanglements.

Is your husband able/willing to please you in other ways sexually? Intercourse is only one of many options.
__________________
Enter these enchanted woods, You who dare. ~ George Meredith

Last edited by Enchantment; 06-20-2011 at 04:18 PM.
Enchantment is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-20-2011, 04:26 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 870
Default Re: OK Give it to me Straight!!

Can he operate a vibrator?

Does he have fingers?

Can he make a fist?

Does he have a tongue?

Can he crack a whip or swing a leather belt or tie a blindfold?

For him to take ownership of his own sexual performance, is MUCH more than erectile function, it is his ATTITUDE!

Going outside the marriage for physical fulfillment?

Nothing I would even suggest nor wish the emotional toll on anyone but even my worst enemy.

An awful can of worms that is, nothing less than Pandora's box, a tangled emotional web and a killer of any respect left for your husband, for starters.
__________________
Decide what to be, and go be it. -Avett Brothers.
BigBadWolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-20-2011, 04:38 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Entropy3000's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: In Love
Posts: 9,647
Default Re: OK Give it to me Straight!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wishful Thinking1 View Post
My marriage is great. I couldn't ask for a better husband. Yeah here comes the but!! Our sex life sucks. Yes here I am the wife complaining about the husband. I love sex enjoy having it my husband is older then me and is physically not capable of it. We have sex only once a week if that. I have tried not to think about sex anymore because it is depressing to me not having it that is. Is is wrong to go outside the marriage to have sex. I just want a good friend with benefits. Is this wrong. My husband can't give me what I need and want. He wants to but can't. He feels really bad, but I am tired of feeling guilty about thinking of going outside the marriage. I love my husband very much and he loves me it would kill him if he ever found out I went outside the marriage. HELP!!!
This is part of your answer. If these two are true then don't go outside your marriage.

Have you cheated on him before?

So if he was able to have intercourse once a week and pleasure you in other ways at other times could that work for you?
Entropy3000 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-21-2011, 03:18 AM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
Ayrun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 64
Default Re: OK Give it to me Straight!!

Don't cheat on your husband. I think puttin drugs in him is a bad idea, get his circulation and testosterone checked.
Ayrun is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-21-2011, 06:32 AM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Runs like Dog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Redneckistan
Posts: 6,988
Default Re: OK Give it to me Straight!!

When people say "It would kill him if" they mean "The argument when I got caught would really suck..after of course I denied everything"
Posted via Mobile Device
Runs like Dog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-21-2011, 08:43 AM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: So Cal
Posts: 4,370
Default Re: OK Give it to me Straight!!

As BigBadWolf has pointed out to you, there are more things you and your husband can do for each other than simply sexual intercourse.

From the desperate tone of your comment I have the feeling that you already have someone waiting in the wings who has told you that he is more than ready, willing and able to give you the amount of sex you crave. If that is the case then you need to know that you are on the verge of getting short term pleasure for the price of long term grief and heartache.

Unless you want to find yourself divorced, I would not recommend that you cheat on your husband. If you don't believe me, just ask my ex-wife if the sex she got on the side was worth it. She now has to contend that I have a new woman in my life with whom I am sleeping with, and according to a mutual friend of ours, she's not handling it well.

Last edited by morituri; 06-21-2011 at 08:54 AM. Reason: eta
morituri is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-21-2011, 11:39 AM   #11 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 10
Default Re: OK Give it to me Straight!!

This reply is for many of you. NO my husband is not willing to do any thing to please me. I have tried to talk to him about other ways. He just doesn't find that appealing I guess. He never has from day one of our relationship. I guess some men just suck at sex. I have tried to be the aggresser in the past, but after being let down several times you give up. So what if it is 3:00 in the morning. I am thinking about going outside the marriage.
Wishful Thinking1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-21-2011, 11:40 AM   #12 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 10
Default Re: OK Give it to me Straight!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ayrun View Post
Don't cheat on your husband. I think puttin drugs in him is a bad idea, get his circulation and testosterone checked.
He already had everything checked out.
Wishful Thinking1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-21-2011, 11:45 AM   #13 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 10
Default Re: OK Give it to me Straight!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Entropy3000 View Post
This is part of your answer. If these two are true then don't go outside your marriage.

Have you cheated on him before?

So if he was able to have intercourse once a week and pleasure you in other ways at other times could that work for you?
Yes that would work for me. But he won't. I guess he grew up in a primitive society. No other ways but sex and then that is not that great.

Yes I have cheated on him before about 2 years ago. I became bored with that person. I don't know what it is about men there great at the beginning------------they get routine. I also felt really bad and didn't want my husband to find out. So I ended it.
Wishful Thinking1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-21-2011, 11:48 AM   #14 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 10
Default Re: OK Give it to me Straight!!

Let me ask you all this. Is it fair to me not to have the sex and affection I need to enjoy life. Because my husband can not or won't in other ways. I am giving up a part of something I need and want. How is this fair even if I am married. But I do love my husband that is the dilemna for me. I really thought about leaving him at one point. My life is good though. Do I give that up just for a better sex life.
Wishful Thinking1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-21-2011, 12:09 PM   #15 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 19,935
Default Re: OK Give it to me Straight!!

If you don't have the commitment to work through this, do the honorable thing and file for divorce.

You might be surprised at his response to that.
Conrad is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
So beyond P****D, i can't even see straight.... fallen_angel The Ladies' Lounge 8 11-09-2012 08:05 PM
Can't Think Straight LookingForTheSun Coping with Infidelity 2 05-30-2012 07:13 PM
so mad I cant even think straight. why do I still love him Coping with Infidelity 17 12-15-2010 07:17 AM
Please set me straight runner Going Through Divorce or Separation 6 05-12-2010 04:26 PM
Won't give straight answer about marriage after 3 years Tigger General Relationship Discussion 8 01-14-2008 09:26 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads





Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:44 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage