Re: Wife's Sexual History
I'll speak for my husband....it is one of the reasons he TRUSTS me so much - because I made him "wait" till we was married. He respected that highly, he feels it spoke something deeply about my character. I think, had I had other lovers, it would come up in his mind. If I had many, I know it would have bothered him, he might not have chosen me. I wouldn't down anyone for that, especially if the have chosen to be wise in selecting partners only for long term relationships. I think it is reasonable to expect similar values in the one we marry. So these things surely should be discussed while dating.
I did a few things outside of intercourse with a couple guys before him. Looking back, I see this as innocent teen experimentation, I never hid anything from my husband- from day one. Me & him both looked at intercoarse as the "thing" you save for the one you love. I am very happy I wasn't with anyone else, I feel it creates a greater bond somehow if you have only been with each other, noone else has ever touched that sacred place. There is no comparisons, it is just more special than words can express. But then again, I am biased !
2 of my older sons want to wait till they are married to give themselves only to their wives. I know in their hearts they want to find a woman who feels the same. There is always a risk in marrying a virgin though ! What if she doesn't like sex & you find out you married a Frigid nun ! Yikes !
Pluses and minues on both ends.
I think Past history generally speaks something of anothers values & judgements, unless they have had a conversion along the way - whether it be spending habits/debt, job history, # of relationships & what caused the break ups, how quickly you have sex with new partners. Personally I would want to know everything but I think it is wise to be realistic, sure the Past is the past, but if the past has umteen partners, many break ups & worst of all -one night stands, I would think it reasonable for this to play on the others mind now & then.