Originally Posted by jbird669
I am about to enter the process of divorce. I am looking at this as an opportunity to spend more time with my friends, reconnect with people I’ve lost touch with, go out and try new things, meet new people and enjoy being a dad.
One thing I also want to do during this time is find myself. I also will look back on where my marriage failed, as in the red flags I either missed or ignored and learn from them (but I won’t dwell).
What are some ways I can go about understanding and finding myself? What are some ways I can man up and be an alpha male toward women (besides reading the sticky!) without a woman in my life? This is a great opportunity and I don’t want to squander it lest I am in this boat again.
Understanding yourself is a lifetime journey. Know yourself one minute, you’ll change the next. I like that old Chinese saying “If you haven’t seen your friend for three days, look closely as they may have changed”.
Us human’s are the most adaptable species on the planet, that’s part of the reason for our success. So as the world around us changes, we change and adapt. And as we go through the years and change within ourselves, again we change and adapt to our new found circumstances.
We all go through “phases” in our lives, the I’m a student studying for my degree phase. the I’m married with two children phases so I’m a husband and father, the I’m a grandfather with fabulous grandchildren phase etc. etc. When we look back these phases in our lives become recognisable to us, like chapters in our own book of life. And it’s then that we know who we were and we really get to understand ourselves.
But you want to understand yourself now, not at some time in the future to look back and understand who you were. To understand who you are now, buy “Awareness” by Anthony de Mello and he’ll teach you how to get to know yourself “in the now”, at the same time as you are going about your life.
Don’t worry too much about this Alpha male stuff. There are a number of interpretations, descriptions of what it actually means anyway so which one would you be working towards? Successful men have very clear objectives and plans in their lives and these are based on their dreams, that’s part of how they get where they want to be. Most of them work their butt off to make their dreams come true. As long as you can pay your way in life, look after those you hold dear to yourself, behave in all ways with honour, credibility and integrity and bring a bit of humility and humour into the mix you’ll be doing very well.