So I'm new here. I'll search the threads for similar cases after I post my situation.
I've been married for just over 2 months. I've been with the same lady (30yrs old) for the past 8 years. She's always been faithful and generally forthright (some times I have to pry things out of her). She's in psychiatry. My own back ground is psychology with an emphasis on behaviorism. So, clearly, even the supposed experts have their issues...
I've made myself pretty clear on what I feel are failing standards in society and the promotion of degeneracy via the media. My wife has been hearing this for several years now as my concern for society and the youth grows. And yet, she decided to go to a bachelorette party 2 nights ago, when she knew a male stripper would be there and that I absolutely frowned upon these things.
The morning when she came back she tried "getting close" to me while I was sleeping, and she never does this unless she wants to make love. I was exhausted and furious with her for going to that thing, when she had the opportunity to leave after dinner and a club, but instead she went back to the apartment where this guy shows up.
She has had the nerve to tell me that I didn't need to know the details of what happened with her there, and she has repeatedly lied about the entire experience which initially went from, "I didn't know there would be a stripper there until we left the club" to acknowledging that it was in the evite which she left up on our desktop. She was clearly excited as it would be "real bachelorette action".
She initially lied and told me the stripper didn't do any thing to her. But I got a confession out of her that she had put on a bikini top beforehand, which was clearly for skin contact. And eventually she indicated that he had rubbed his genitals on her back (he had a thong on, big whoop). Obviously, after much teeth pulling I got more facts and I don't think that I've heard the last of it.
She claimed that it was awkward, horrible, and disgusting, but I pointed out to her that if this was the case she could have left at any time. She willingly went along with all of this. She's sorry she got caught essentially. But not sorry about what she did. Again, she had the nerve to come home to me all stimulated and wake me up in the morning. I'm completely disgusted with her and I've told her that she has crossed a line which I don't know if our marriage will withstand.
I'm planning on seeing how truthful and honest she is regarding the issue further, mainly to see if she is willing to attempt to rebuild my trust by telling me what happened (and if I'm further outraged by her acts I'll know if I even want to try to salvage this thing). I've been calm and analytical with her which has made her lies transparent.
I honestly don't know if I can repair things as the wound is deep and my trust is damaged to the core. I am willing to give more information if people ask as I'm really here to get feed back from others and to try to cope with having my heart broken by the girl who I once thought was so virtuous.
Please feel free to comment or ask questions.
Thanks in advance as I have yet to speak to any one else about this. Part of me wants to get her to talk to her parents about it with me present as we are supposed to have a delayed wedding reception with my folks on the east coast. I don't want to create resentment but she's very clearly been disrespectful and untruthful to me. She said a number of times before I got the more graphic information out of her that I was making a big deal out of nothing. She knew how I felt about that sort of thing and she spent july 4th back with her ****ty friend who is the bride to be, and that friend was telling her the same thing (some friend, and I pity the future hubby).
Enough for now. Comments are appreciated...