Interesting question. My husband's job is very much a part of who he is and why I am attracted to him. One of my goals in attending college, in addition to getting a good job and education, was to meet an intelligent man who had good earning potential. However, I was not attracted to the business majors because they only seemed interested in making money.
When I met my future husband, he was in ROTC, and I never thought I would like to be a military wife. The fact that he wanted to be a pilot was very attractive to me, very macho, and I loved the idea that we could eventually travel when he became a commercial pilot.
He didn't earn a great salary in the military, and I had to adjust to all of the moves that we made. But we fit each other to a T, so I never regretted following him to all the different bases.
When he got out and became a commercial pilot, his first year salary was pathetic. We got by with buying used clothing for the kids, scrimping and saving. A few years into his career, things improved financially.
I love that he does not have a conventional 8-5 job. I love the travel benefits. I love that he is a nice guy with the inner soul of a pirate. If he had a low level job or if he was a workaholic who only cared about money, I was not have fallen in love with him. His job is a part of who he is.
I think part of this is the compatibility of drive and ambition in the couple. A mismatch could make life very difficult.
I don't give too hoots on how much money my spouse makes... he's a workaholic... and he's trying to wrap his brain around the idea, that work is not a priority. He always had the drive to be on the greatest and latest design project... and that was the thrill of the chase for him.. that is (and hopefully one day soon..was) his mistress. Money was never an issue.. it was the career. For those spouses that got material items in lieu of attention, of course it could never be a substitute... I was so far down on his priority list ... I was lucky to get a card for our anniversary... and that would be the ones in the plastic wrap from the convienence store... and hopefully within a week either way of the actual day...
I have high drive and ambition too... I put my dreams of my true calling on hold for 20 years to help him get started with his career... although I had tried for so many years he would never consider my requests, it wasn't a option at the time, after the next project I had heard time and time again... HOWEVER... I am back in school, upgrading my degrees so that I can get back into the workforce in the career I love and dreamed of for years!
A honest days pay for an honest days work,responsible with the finances no matter what they be....
and most importantly... work is left behind as soon as the car reaches the driveway! :-)
Yes. Always best to count your blessings. know what they are, how many you have and then to really treasure, defend, nurture and take care of them. Some only know what blessings they “had” after they’ve forever gone and it’s way too late to ever get them back.
This is one area that I am so proud of my wife. She doesn't really care to know how much I make, and couldn't even come close to describing what I do for a living. Before you get the wrong assumption, my job has always typically changed about every 18 months, so it is hard to keep up with. She knows it has something to do with developing new engine and drivetrain technology.
She makes a good income and works part time. Drives an older car and has flat out refused it when I've tried to get her to spend an extra $10k on her next car because she is more worried about what will do the job. I drive a pickup truck and park in a lot full or Mercedes, BMWs and a whole lot of Saab's.
For the years that she was a stay at home mom, she never took my job for granted. I told her later that I really regretting not thanking her more for the sacrifices she made. As a nurse practictioner, she had to jump through many hoops to get her credentials re-established after returning to work.
We've had so many issues with the marriage, but I'm just glad that this wasn't one of them for us. The marriage would've probably gone thermonuclear if you added financial strain, other than the normal of getting behind on medical bills and stuff.
I consider my role as a SAHM extremely EASY in comparison to my husband's role and JOB - as the sole Breadwinner for our larger family. I , for one, am very very THANKFUL to be able to stay home with them. I often feel like I could be doing "more" somehow. I hold him in very high esteem for what he does for all of us.
It is very important for me to get EVERYTHING done before he walks through that door every day, I don't want him helping me with nothing, unless I just had surgery or am suddenly sick & dragging (thankfully very rare). That way he can do what I can't do as a woman (those handy man projects) and we'll have more time to spend together or do something FUN with the kids.
We drive OLD vehicles too and I wouldn't want it any other way , we could buy new if we wanted -even pay in full -but we never would - we like having extra $$ for other things.
I have found the opposite at our home, I am the breadwinner... have been for a long time, and I really really valued what my husband did at home, but he didn't value it himself.
Love him, not his job. He's infantry. We all know the military doesn't pay all that great. But that's ok. He supports both of us. Definitely helps that I'm a simple gal who doesn't need anything. I appreciate him for what he does for me and this country.
I've got to think my wife would have less miserable married to a hedge fund manager or the chief of oncology somewhere. Someone who's raking it in and who's never there.
I dont have to worry about falling into this one on the wrong side of things. Since we became a couple, my W hasnt held a steady job. She holds two degrees and had always been the primary earner in her previous marriage, but with the economy and other issues I cant always wrap my head around, she doesnt work. That doesnt change how much I love her in anyway. "For richer or poorer." you know!?!
This isn't an issue in my marriage as I make a lot more than my husband. His job isn't what attracted me to him, and I can only hope that he doesn't feel this way about me and my job. Yikes!
I don't think a job or education defines a person. I do respect someone who respects themselves though, who takes pride in whatever it is they're doing, who strives to be the best they can be, who either follows their passion while still having their feet on the ground OR who recognizes their job is just a means to an end and doesn't take it all too seriously. This might sound like wanky bullsh*t now that I see it written out, but it's true.
My H and I met young and neither of us had a career path in mind at that time. I've always admired the way he's excelled in whatever it is he's put his mind to. He's resourceful, independent and determined. I have seen the change in his approach in business over the years, transitioning from eager to please 'successful' guy to now being his more authentic self with not just business but in all aspects of his life. These are the types of qualities that keep me attracted. Not his income or title.
Re: Do you love your spouse or the job they have? 
