Originally Posted by memphisman
So me and girlfriend decided to have a baby. She’s 13 weeks. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy but it’s been pretty rough. First it started with her going hell bent on spending less time together because she wanted her space and her time. She spend majority of her time at her mom’s where she lives. But it got to the point that we were spending less than one day a week together. And anytime I brought this up that I thought we didn’t spend enough time together to her I was whining, and if I texted or called more than two times in one day I’m being clingy and needy. And on top of that we haven’t had sex since we found out she was pregnant. Because to her sex wasn’t important to her and she just didn’t have a sex drive. I’ve tolerated all this because everyone told me it’s just the hormones talking and things would get better after she had the baby or by time she hit the second trimester. Then she’s not able to take her antidepressants because she’s pregnant. All this has led up to her telling me she cheated on me this past Sunday and she told me the following Monday as she tried to break up with me. I told her I still wanted to try and make it work if for no other reason than the baby. I admit she’s been a lot calmer and agreeable since then and we’ve talking and spending more time together. But I’ve learned since this past Monday that a good chunk of the attachment I’ve had for her isn’t there anymore and my feelings aren’t the same anymore. At some points it’s just awkward. Between her cheating on me and pushing me away I feel like we’ve grown apart. I really want to make this work if possible. A lot of my friends have told I should just let her go and make the best of it. So I’m basically looking for any advice that might help me work things out. Maybe just some rekindling of the relationship somehow.
Your best bet is to seek counsel. I know that it may sound cliche and boring but that's what a marriage counselor does, he gives possible solutions to fix a relationship.
It doesn't matter if you're not married, it's still a relationship problem. It's a job for the counselor.
Having said that, your other option would be to facilitate an environment where both of you can have a lengthy heart-to-heart talk (honest and open communication).
Both of you could go out for a picnic somewhere peaceful and relaxing like a place that's closer to nature.
During your conversation, remember these things:
1) Listen carefully to what she's saying.
2) Look for the meaning behind what she's saying.
3) Suspend your judgment
4) Be patient and calm during the interaction
5) Be honest with what you're currently feeling
6) Exercise empathy (put yourself in her shoes)
Lastly, whatever happens, you're still you. There are a lot of women out there who would do anything to be with a great guy like you.
Hope things work out for you, bro.