Should I leave my wife
Where shall I start?
My wife confided with me last week, that after living together for 10+ years of which 8+ were married that she is into BDSM - the real deal, not just spankings and dirty talk. She also stated that she just can't see me being her "dom" . Honestly, I don't think I'd be really into it anyway, it's not really my thing, so any attempt would prob be halfhearted. Apparently she had an experience before we were married was scared by it but also liked it. The true issue is she buried it from me, bc admittedly I am a rather conservative guy. The problem is compounded by the fact that she has met a guy online who she requested from me to allow to have her "sessions" "Hell no" was the answer. All her friends are online as she stays at home with our 2 y/o.
Our sex life has honestly sucked for most of our married life, partly b/c I was resentful that she let herself go so soon after marriage while I busted my a$$ to stay in shape. However (big however), that changed after our daughter was born 2.5 years ago at which time my shame got the better of me and I accepted her for what she was. However, I think that damage had been done, and she was not very open for sex at all, and never was aggressive for it.
I love my wife, and I would like nothing more than to make our marriage work, but there are three problems:
-She is not certain she can live without BDSM (and I certainly cannot live WITH it, unless it's me)
I am not convinced she is still committed to our marriage. We both have made mistakes, but I am willing to wipe the board clean and try again, but if she is not, am I forced to leave her?
Her behavior has been reckless and selfish for the past few months, and I find the way she is seeking out these people (besides offensive) to be dangerous - do I go for full custody of our child?
Thank god she did accept going to counseling with me, and we start this week, hopefully we can clear up the issues.